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Slightly midrange eel
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello

This is me. I'm a guy from Sweden with mainly general anxiety problems. Social anxiety has come from isolation. I'm pretty easy going and kind. Many describe me as overly generous and caring of people around me. I've decided I can only make so much of a change on that because I like to help people. It helps me feel worthy (of what?).

This is the first non-Swedish forum I've signed up on. I guess we'll see how active I'll be here. Right now I'm thinking this is will be the only place I can be brute honest about my problems.

Occasionally I use non-prescribed drugs to flee my anxiety. These drugs include anything from Cannabis to pretty strong Opiates. I'm not addicted but I know I'm walking a very thin line and that I shouldn't be doing it but sometimes the anxiety just gets so tiring. Taking a night "off" is a clean break sometimes.

All in all I'm that friend who will always listen. People dynamics is my speciality and I try to help others best I can. Often running myself empty in the process. Well now that I'm repeating myself I might aswell quit. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask.

kindasorta
 

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Hey kindasorta :wels
 

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Slightly midrange eel
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Thanks everyone :)
 

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Welcome, Kindasorta! :)
 

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Slightly midrange eel
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207 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Well I found my way back eventually. Things have kind of stayed the same for me. Som drug abuse but nothing serious, if you can say that about drug abuse in the first place.

However I have gotten indications that my problems may very well stem from a brain damage inflicted at birth. I am diagnosed with very mild Cerebral Pareses. The nature of which is lowered muscle strenght and control on the left side of my body. I don't see it as a handicap, I can do anything people without CP can. I've had different psychological issues since i was about 8 years old. Five years ago I stopped telling psychiatrists about it. It was a dead end for me, muscle control and depression didn't click.

This spring I did part of a neuropsychiatric investigation that clearly showed that cognitive functions controlled by the same half of the brain that i have CP in was much lower than the ones in the "healthy" part of the brain. I was in the top 98% for cognitive functions controlled by the left half of the brain, this includes verbal skills, literacy and other things.
The other half was a very wave graph below average. This includes problem solving, planning and other things.

So it was hinted that I might have some form of autistic problem, maybe some form of Asperger's symdrome. Even though I act very "un-autistic".
So now I'm waiting for the full investigation, and that will be over a year from now...

Puzzle pieces are falling together. I have a reasonable explanation to why I struggled in different areas in school but still was considered one of the smartest kids. I couldn't figure it out before, what actually was wrong with me. In short I have half a brain of a genious (ok, that sounds pretty narcissistic but I'm at a lack of words) and the other half is really struggling to keep up. I have sub consiously developed different systems to compensate but some things I just haven't been able to tackle. As life went on and I got more and more responsability for planning my life I struggled more and more until I finally collapsed.

Well, I guess that's it for now... Maybe I'll stay more active here for a while. I can't really say for sure. Thank you for all the welcome's nevertheless!
 

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Glad you joined, Ahoyhoy!

Great to have someone from Sweden with us.

This is a great board to read and post to.
 

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Slightly midrange eel
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Not many Swedes around, eh? :)
 
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