Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 20 Posts

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm actually too afraid to make appearances outside. Even going to see the counsellor takes effort.

Anyone else have trouble going outside because they feel bad about their image?

I never feel comfortable with having to be seen, and i hate going out.
 

·
calm
Joined
·
264 Posts
so you are staying most time at home, right?
well doesnt that make the whole situation worse, you have to go out at some point, dont you?

my shallow advise would be go out slowly were less people are and not to long and increase from there. it could work
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
so you are staying most time at home, right?
well doesnt that make the whole situation worse, you have to go out at some point, dont you?

my shallow advise would be go out slowly were less people are and not to long and increase from there. it could work
I know, everyone tells me i have to go out. But its soul destroying whenever i have to go anywhere. Its like theres always someone thats looking for trouble, or its really busy etc.

Plus i dont enjoy going anywhere, and i'm usually on my own.

The only solution is to go out, but it makes me feel worse. it seriously does.
 

·
calm
Joined
·
264 Posts
is it the people or going out in general?

you can stay in your comfort zone if it troubles you to much but when you are pressured to go out because you have to do something it is maybe easier since you have no other choice.

write more to it I dont really understand your issue here
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #5 ·
is it the people or going out in general?

you can stay in your comfort zone if it troubles you to much but when you are pressured to go out because you have to do something it is maybe easier since you have no other choice.

write more to it I dont really understand your issue here
Both. I am the kind of person that people see as "should be able to cope" etc.

But i feel awful about myself, and i really dislike going anywhere.

Its hard, because i need to know a few close friends etc, but i hate socialisng. I know it doesn't make much sense, but thats my social anxiety (perhaps some agorophobia and body dysmorphic disorder?)

I just cannot go anywhere right now. Not even to a shop.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #7 ·
must be hard with that burden, do you have any people at home if I may ask that would be a bit of a relief
I have family, and 1 or 2 friends. Thats it.

I dont have enough friends to get by socially. I've never enjoyed going out and doing things, because people like to turn on me.

Its like if anything goes wrong people are quick to try to make me the villain.
It always feels like people in society put chains around my legs so that i never feel comfortable. Society wants me to fail and never be happy.

I'm a good person, and i talk to others with respect. Trouble is in the real world either no-one wants to know me, or they want to fight me.

I hardly ever get someone who is friendly to me.

Its really upsetting because i am a genuine nice person, its just people like to treat me like crap.

I hate having to write a "sob story" and i'm not looking for sympathy. I just wondered if anyone else could relate to my problems.

Thanks for the replies though.
 

·
The Weight Of The World
Joined
·
20 Posts
I feel the same way, I am in a position where I "have to" go out and do some job hunting,
I understand I rely on my MP3 player it helps control the "negative thinking"
it can be a scary world and people can be cold
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I feel the same way, I am in a position where I "have to" go out and do some job hunting,
I understand I rely on my MP3 player it helps control the "negative thinking"
it can be a scary world and people can be cold
I'm glad (in a way) that you feel the same way. But its not a good thing, because we both feel bad about going out.

I would use my mp3, but the earphones always keep popping out, i cant stand that.

Alot of people are very cold towards me. Someone would have a go at me in public for looking in their direction. Its ridiculous, and they know i'd destroy them if they'd touch me, so they just shout abuse from a distance etc.
 

·
Done with SA
Joined
·
1,818 Posts
I have a horrible self image, so yes, I do tend to stay inside if I can because I just don't want to go out. I feel like I'm cursing the world with my presence.
Of course, I shouldn't think this way, but I do.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I have a horrible self image, so yes, I do tend to stay inside if I can because I just don't want to go out. I feel like I'm cursing the world with my presence.
Of course, I shouldn't think this way, but I do.
Thats exactly how it feels
 

·
Done with SA
Joined
·
1,818 Posts
Thats exactly how it feels
Yeah, people tell me not to feel this way, but I can't help it.
I've felt this way probably since I started puberty and it hasn't gone away.
It makes going out extremely difficult, especially since I have no one to go with. My mom keeps saying all I need are a few friends and I'll feel better, but how can I make friends when I feel I'm not worthy enough to have them, but that's just me.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #13 ·
Yeah, people tell me not to feel this way, but I can't help it.
I've felt this way probably since I started puberty and it hasn't gone away.
It makes going out extremely difficult, especially since I have no one to go with. My mom keeps saying all I need are a few friends and I'll feel better, but how can I make friends when I feel I'm not worthy enough to have them, but that's just me.
I know how that is. Everyone i know says i should be able to get friends and a girl etc. But its impossible for me to find friends. And when i have made friends in the past, well, i have lost most of them now.

Feeling worthy is hard, because most people that socialise always brag about what they have, or what they have done. And i can never live up to their standards (i wouldn't want to either). But it does wind me up when those type of people go on about it, and make me feel bad on purpose.
 

·
Done with SA
Joined
·
1,818 Posts
I know how that is. Everyone i know says i should be able to get friends and a girl etc. But its impossible for me to find friends. And when i have made friends in the past, well, i have lost most of them now.

Feeling worthy is hard, because most people that socialise always brag about what they have, or what they have done. And i can never live up to their standards (i wouldn't i want to either). But it does wind me up when those type of people go on about it, and make me feel bad on purpose.
That's how I feel, too. People say I should be able to make friends because I'm funny, smart, caring, etc. However, it is still hard for me to make friends and the only obstacle in my mind is that I must not look very pleasing then, if my personality is oh so sparkling. :roll
Every friend I've once had is now gone. Of course, this is my own fault because I was quite popular in school (don't ask me how) and had a book full of numbers of classmates and such, but I wouldn't call them and couldn't hang out with them so, they all were lost.

And feeling worthy. I hardly feel worthy of anything to be honest. It's even harder when I hear how wonderfully my mom's friend's children are doing. She's usually the one telling me about it and sometimes I think she does it to hurt me because she knows how I feel knowing people my age are out doing so much while I'm still here in the same place I was at 18.
I also feel bad when I run into a friend from long ago and they're telling me all about their wonderful lives. I feel jealous, too. Feeling jealous all the time also makes me feel unworthy.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
That's how I feel, too. People say I should be able to make friends because I'm funny, smart, caring, etc. However, it is still hard for me to make friends and the only obstacle in my mind is that I must not look very pleasing then, if my personality is oh so sparkling. :roll
Every friend I've once had is now gone. Of course, this is my own fault because I was quite popular in school (don't ask me how) and had a book full of numbers of classmates and such, but I wouldn't call them and couldn't hang out with them so, they all were lost.

And feeling worthy. I hardly feel worthy of anything to be honest. It's even harder when I hear how wonderfully my mom's friend's children are doing. She's usually the one telling me about it and sometimes I think she does it to hurt me because she knows how I feel knowing people my age are out doing so much while I'm still here in the same place I was at 18.
I also feel bad when I run into a friend from long ago and they're telling me all about their wonderful lives. I feel jealous, too. Feeling jealous all the time also makes me feel unworthy.
That is spot on for me.

For the other things (i was never really popular, but i got alot of invitations to house parties, nightclubs, pubs etc when i was in younger) so i was probably of average popularity. But i never went to any of those places.

They all thought i was weird for turning them down.
 

·
wooden hippie nice
Joined
·
1,639 Posts
I feel exactly the same way. I rarely leave the house and the reason behind that is because of how hideous I feel physically.

The amount of times I've wanted and/or tried to go out somewhere but have broken down and given up because I just couldn't make myself look presentable enough to feel comfortable letting anyone see me (I have widespread acne scars which form the bulk of my insecurity regarding my appearance) is somewhere in the hundreds, or more likely thousands.

Of course, staying inside only makes me feel more depressed, but the longer I do it for and the more time I miss away from college etc. only increases my anxiety and makes it harder for me to get out more often, due to all the questions and explaining that I then have to face. And, these are hard things to cope with when you can't bear to have anyone close to you or having to speak to people (especially when you have to come up with reasoning behind your behaviour!).

Currently I'm dreading having to go into college tomorrow because of a letter I received today demanding that I go to a meeting to discuss my poor attendance. The last time I had one of these meetings I completely broke down whilst trying to explain my situation in regards to my anxiety and therefore lack of attendance to one of the principals at my college. I just don't know quite how to explain that I have trouble going out because of my appearance... I know most people simply wouldn't be able to understand that, nor the feelings I go through everyday because of how I look.

I feel I perhaps wouldn't even have social anxiety, or at least to the degree that I suffer from it now, and indeed that my depression would be a lot less severe, if I didn't have my scarring problem and felt comfortable with how I look. I realise that may sound naive, but I truly think it's the case.
 

·
Done with SA
Joined
·
1,818 Posts
That is spot on for me.

For the other things (i was never really popular, but i got alot of invitations to house parties, nightclubs, pubs etc when i was in younger) so i was probably of average popularity. But i never went to any of those places.

They all thought i was weird for turning them down.
I'm glad I could get so spot on for you. :)

I never went to places or even called any of these people, which puzzles me as to how I stayed popular. I'm still not sure how I had gotten popular to begin with. I guess it was a case of the 'she's a loner, she must be cool' type thing. I don't know.

Happily, no one thought I was weird for turning them down. They all knew the reason I couldn't go, so they didn't think me strange for not going. They did wonder why I didn't just break my mom's rules and go do what I wanted to. I sure wanted to, but didn't want to cause problems at home.

I feel exactly the same way. I rarely leave the house and the reason behind that is because of how hideous I feel physically.
I relate a great deal.
mooncake, it's hard for me to explain it to people, too, but I try. The only problem is, when I do, I get hit with a million protests of how I'm not hideous and how silly I am for thinking like this. That doesn't make it much better because I just honestly don't believe it and think they're only saying it because they feel they have to, not because it's true.

And as for the attendance meeting. I wish you luck. I've only had to go to one and that was back in junior high. It was horrible having to sit there with my mom, principal, and two 'concerned teachers', and try to explain why I wasn't coming to school and why I didn't want to go to school. Luckily, I eventually explained and that's when I went into home school for a while.

I feel I perhaps wouldn't even have social anxiety, or at least to the degree that I suffer from it now, and indeed that my depression would be a lot less severe, if I didn't have my scarring problem and felt comfortable with how I look. I realise that may sound naive, but I truly think it's the case.
I don't think that sounds naive at all. I sometimes think my SA wouldn't be so hard to control if I thought I looked better. I feel like if I had a better self image, I'd feel more confident when I go out, either with other people or alone, and I wouldn't be so unable to approach people.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
728 Posts
Discussion Starter · #18 ·
I feel exactly the same way. I rarely leave the house and the reason behind that is because of how hideous I feel physically.

The amount of times I've wanted and/or tried to go out somewhere but have broken down and given up because I just couldn't make myself look presentable enough to feel comfortable letting anyone see me (I have widespread acne scars which form the bulk of my insecurity regarding my appearance) is somewhere in the hundreds, or more likely thousands.

Of course, staying inside only makes me feel more depressed, but the longer I do it for and the more time I miss away from college etc. only increases my anxiety and makes it harder for me to get out more often, due to all the questions and explaining that I then have to face. And, these are hard things to cope with when you can't bear to have anyone close to you or having to speak to people (especially when you have to come up with reasoning behind your behaviour!).

Currently I'm dreading having to go into college tommorrow because of a letter I received today demanding that I go to a meeting to discuss my poor attendance. The last time I had one of these meetings I completely broke down whilst trying to explain my situation in regards to my anxiety and therefore lack of attendance to one of the principal's at my college. I just don't know quite how to explain that I have trouble going out because of my appearance... I know most people simply wouldn't be able to understand that, nor the feelings I go through everyday because of how I look.

I feel I perhaps wouldn't even have social anxiety, or at least to the degree that I suffer from it now, and indeed that my depression would be a lot less severe, if I didn't have my scarring problem and felt comfortable with how I look. I realise it may sound naive, but I truly think it's the case.
Sometimes i just cannot go anywhere because i am not sure i look decent enough or that i am wearing anything "decent".

Staying inside causes me depression too, but i get really wound up if i have to go anywhere.

I've seen people get expelled for poor attendance, so i would definitely explain your problems. I'm sure they will be sympathetic towards you.
 

·
o_O
Joined
·
6,024 Posts
I hate going out too. I just hate the way I look and I'm too ashamed to really go places because I feel like people are looking at me and thinking I must be ugly. School especially sucks because I have to get up everyday and try to not think about my ugliness uggh. Or there are times when I'm in a class I just want to disappear or be invisible because I just don't want to be seen by anyone yet sometimes the teacher puts me on the spot and I wish I was dead and not present at the time because I can't stand the people looking at me. It's a nightmare.
 

·
UnDeRrAtED
Joined
·
34,712 Posts
I dont like going out because I get very self conscious about my appearance
 
1 - 20 of 20 Posts
Top