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Potato
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43 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
First post on here, hello!

I've been afraid to join this site for a while now, because of the reason stated in the title. I always feel like talking about myself with others, or talking about my experiences or opinions with others in any way at all makes me selfish, or will make others think of me as selfish. This fear prevents me from talking to people freely, and it's even gone to the point where I stopped seeing my counselor because of this...

Does anyone else have this problem?
 

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Ready to conquer
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Jup! Me! I often force myself into it, since always talking about the other person isn't considered a 'good' conversation either, but mostly I find myself saying 'Oh i'm sorry i'm rambling about myself again'.

In other situations I'm offended because the person doesn't ask how I am doing or how I am feeling, or what MY experiences were. I don't know what to do about it though, mostly I just shake it off but later on I feel like that friend isn't a real friend because he 'does not care', but it's probably 'just me'.
 

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♎ Mackinac Island Fanatic
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28,958 Posts
Let's just put it this way, despite my tendency to share personal anecdotes (and at length) in most of my responses around here, as a means of showing empathy with others, I still feel guilty EVERY SINGLE TIME somebody else's situation elicits a wordy personal experience from me. I feel like, here I am, taking somebody else's experience and making it all about me. :roll

Even in my first sessions with my past therapist, I felt too guilty to talk to her at first, because I felt like I was taking up time that could be better spent on other people. My problems weren't worth talking about. She assured me that my session time was MY session time and I had no reason to feel guilty. (Unfortunately, when they made funding cuts at the clinic, they had to discontinue my therapy since I wasn't improving, and at that point the therapist told me I should be happy my session time would now be going to somebody else who might be helped by it. -_- )

...And take a look, my reply here illustrates what I was just describing. ME, ME, ME. :x

This also puts a huge damper on making friends because I have no real interest in befriending somebody unless they have a lot in common with me. Which basically means, I want somebody to whom I can blather about MY thoughts and MY interests and they share those same interests, so even when they're sharing their thoughts, it's still like I'm hearing about myself. :/ Plus the things I'm interested in are considered boring to most people, so even a brief discussion by me seems to be more than most people can bear.

It feels easier sometimes to just not communicate because then others can't accuse me of being selfish, as they've done in the past (even here). Any little personal comment I make makes me wonder if I'm taking up too much of someone's time or hogging a conversation they'd rather leave to someone else, and I hate to sound like I'm all I care about. I just let other people talk and don't say much, which is dull for me when I have so much I want to share, but seems to make the other person happy.

I don't believe I'm selfish, I'm just self-centered...there's a difference, but many people aren't aware of it. :sigh
 
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