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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I am realising how much i am afraid of people my own age. All the clubbing/ party culture scares me really badly.

I have been looking at jobs, but i'm afraid that i will be around people my age. And so many of them only care about what they will be doing at the clubs on the weekends.

I know i can avoid these places, but i also want to avoid these people. Just hearing about it, or seeing the type of people that go frightens me basically.

I dont know how i'm going to get over this fear. Clubs aren't for me, i will never go. I need to not get wound up by seeing/hearing these people. But its difficult. To me i just dont agree with all the loose kind of socialising and loudness these people can act like.

Its like a threat. Like dangerous criminals. I dont care if i'm a loser for not doing what they do, i just need a few quiet introverted friends. I hate socialising so much.

How on earth can i cope going outside when just seeing people makes me upset?
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I don't like going to clubs either. Hours shouting at people because the music is so loud. And then there's my dancing. Seriously, it's bad. They ought to put it on TV to remind people how not to dance.

It says you're 21. You're an adult and you have the right to make your own decisions about your life. You decide when and where and how much you want to socialise. You decide whether you want to socialise at all. Of course there's pressure from other people, peer pressure etc. But in your life, you are the boss and- so long as your decisions do not and do not seek to harm, hurt or humiliate others- your decisions govern your life. A lot of people do not like clubbing. That's fine. That's great. If you feel more comfortable socialising with a few people or with a couple of people you know well etc, that's ok.

If you feel you need to distance yourself from certain people because they- even if they do not mean to- put pressure on you to do stuff you're not comfortable with, that's fine. Nothing wrong with that. That's a sign of strength and a sign of you taking control of your life. A positive sign.

If you want to go clubbing but the idea "freaks you out", that's a different matter. If you'd really like to go clubbing or whatever but the fear/anxiety/social anxiety is holding you back, there's a conflict going on and you need to address that in a way that is right for you. For the most part, social anxiety is not about you not going to this club or to this party or whatever. It's about something stopping you from doing what you want to do or living the life you want to live. The important thing is, you don't have to "get over" anything you don't want to "get over". Who you are is just fine. If something is stopping you from living the life you want to live, it needs to be sorted out. Otherwise, do not feel bad for being who you are. Human beings need nothing to validate us and we never have to apologise or excuse who we are.
I have to remember that. I just get fed up with the fact that society and other people expect things of me. And clubbing isn't for me.
 
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