[Dying note]

I'm sorry if this is in the wrong section, but I think it does go with coping with social anxiety.

I'm just wondering if anyone else who has a therapist has a difficult time explaining their thoughts that go along with their anxiety to their therapist? I have a hard time answering the questions I'm asked sometimes, and with being completely honest when explaining issues like self-esteem and my future goals. I guess it's my fear of letting anyone know too much about the depression my social anxiety has kind of led me into. It's as if I'm afraid of saying something that will lead into opening up about much darker thoughts.
I feel it would be much worse to face her and explain more if I mention anything about having no life goals or overall motivation for life. It's hard enough pin pointing my negative thoughts regarding the social anxiety, and I keep thinking I would not be able to handle her reaction/words if I were to bring up my depression.

And yes, I realize not telling the whole truth is only hurting me and keeping me from getting better in some way, but I can't seem to get around this fear of getting too specific about certain things. Do I make any sense or is this silly to be so worried about?

 

[Dying note]

I completely went through the same thing!! I had brain fog, had no idea where to even begin...etc. etc. Felt like I was drowning with no purpose, no point, and nothing that I enjoyed or wanted. I think a lot of people with emotional problems struggle with this actually. Emotional problems are hard and most of us don't want to deal with the pain. I have gone through about 3 therapists that were absolute crap, 2 were just quacks, and the 1 I spent a year with I literally talked about nothing of consequence. It's like none of these therapists actually did anything proactive that really helped me, they just kinda listened to me. I didn't really know what to say and didn't want to show anyone my real struggles, it was embarrassing and painful! I was scared to really admit how things were because I though they were so stupid and weird. How frustrating! I also went to see a meditation counselor, which helped me more than they did!

Oh I had a fourth therapist who was actually brilliant and incredible though, I only saw her for a short time though because she didn't take my health insurance and was incredibly expensive ($150 for 45 minutes). My parents are paying my tuition now...so as soon as I scrap together some extra cash I'm gonna go to her for some hypnotherapy.

I think the most important thing is to find a therapist that you can open up with, that you just 'click' with. Also there truly are a lot of so-so or bad counselors, if you get a good one, you'll know. Try researching different types of therapy, try different counselors with the therapy you are interested in. Even a spiritual leader or someone along those lines might be good if you could actually be honest and open with them. Above all don't feel weird or embarrassed, or stupid about feeling weird, embarrassed, and stupid! Not negatively judging what you feel is a big part of healing.

I just started with a new therapist about two weeks ago after seeing another one for over a year (I never went back because of insurance issues). Tomorrow I have an appoinment and I guess I will just need to explain that it's still hard to open up and that it might take some time before I speak on some things. It's a huge conflict within where part of me really is open to being helped, you know? I've just been so scared...lol. Anyway, thanks very much for your advice.