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Everyone had such high hopes for me for some reason. I guess as the oldest of three I am supposed to be the responsible one. Yet I have accomplished nothing really meaningful in all of my life. I don't want to be in my 30s, still single and working a job I hate. I think I have a fear of failure and that has caused me to stress and worry all these years.
 

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Hello me 6 years ago, do something about it please.
 

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any advice?
Probably need more details, but here goes "me-8-years-ago":

1. Don't spent too much money (SAers and Agoraphobics may not seem like spend-thrifts, but some certainly go on spending sprees in bunches so all bets are off).

2. Stay in shape (by jogging). We can call it discrimination or
whatever, but jobs, women, etc. do care about how tidy/good you look.

3. Scratch and claw through jobs (Redundant to #1 but slightly different). It's a marathon, but it's worth it 10 years later.

I'm in my 30s, I do a job I absolutely hate for people I don't trust, feel like a dinosaur unavoidably going extinct, and feel like I'm a failure, but at least I got some cash (hundos of thousandaire)...
 

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any advice?
God I wish I knew dude. Try to focus on the things you love to do and make a career out of it and hopefully the rest will all fall into place on it's own. It's the best I got for now.
 

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I'm in the same boat... same age too.

Once I feel off my career goal wagon, the SA kicked in and pretty much took me out of life completely. It only seems to be getting worse too. I'm not sure what to do either.

Settle for some crappy job? Nah, my pride won't let that happen.
Get back on the wagon? I already failed once, I'm terrified of going at it again and failing again.
Do nothing and get addicted to pills... current state. :|
 

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hey caveman, you're a faulously wealthy dinosaur at 30? Things could be worse eh!
 

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hey caveman, you're a faulously wealthy dinosaur at 30? Things could be worse eh!
Yeah, it does seem a little pretentious of me to be near $1M and dulling out bone dry advice on "toughing it out" and being minimalist and resourceful.

However, I did indeed pay my dues coming from a poor family with no inheritance and having to invertedly take a care of handicapped parents and a homeless family member. I'm not out of the woods by any means. Life still sucks, and obviously modern folk have more complex challenges than I did back then when hunting and gathering was still an option.
 

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Sounds like we have an under-rated unsung hero in our midst,,,,,,,Caveman you've got my vote.....

My older brother took care of my parents. I had next to no responsibility....one handicapped brother but he is reasonably independant and when he was dependant my siblings took the brunt........
So you must have regualr trips to Las Vegas...or are you careful with your money?
 

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Yeah, it does seem a little pretentious of me to be near $1M and dulling out bone dry advice on "toughing it out" and being minimalist and resourceful.

However, I did indeed pay my dues coming from a poor family with no inheritance and having to invertedly take a care of handicapped parents and a homeless family member. I'm not out of the woods by any means. Life still sucks, and obviously modern folk have more complex challenges than I did back then when hunting and gathering was still an option.
If you have close to a million bucks you have accomplished a lot in my book.
 

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Sounds like we have an under-rated unsung hero in our midst,,,,,,,Caveman you've got my vote.....

My older brother took care of my parents. I had next to no responsibility....one handicapped brother but he is reasonably independant and when he was dependant my siblings took the brunt........
So you must have regualr trips to Las Vegas...or are you careful with your money?
humourless, I'm obviously no hero. It's just growing up poor makes you want to not be poor and this was decades of processes since I was young of basic saving money (not rocket science) to compound simple interests. Children age 8 KNOW they are poor and either quit and go homeless or grind it out.

Thankfully, my attempts to quit failed, but there were plenty of dysfunctional events that made me want to put a bullet through my head or bus my last generation off a cliff (along with me) to end it all.

Just glad to sit here alive and tell people about [brutally obvious] old-fashioned virtues of saving like a hawk and moderation. This advice may be outdated, but it's the only dry stuff I can think of that I don't regret saying. All the risk-reward stuff conveniently leaves out punishment.

I am of course still a minimalist today and don't derive any joy out of going to Vegas. Too shy to do it, and still one bad family event away from total collapse.
 

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If you have close to a million bucks you have accomplished a lot in my book.
Thank you. I still have a long way to go and am one or two looming bad family events from collapse.

I am not a cheap skate at all, but probably the thing I constantly say to younger people over and over is save like a hawk so you have choices later.

I'm still going to repeat to the OP save as much as you can regardless of family economic background [or if America has strayed away from give me your poor, and it'll give you plenty of opportunity] and diminshed choices in life, but I think SA people should still use our one weakness to our advantage and save like minimalist refugees.
 

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"minimalist refugees" LOL:clap

Droll wit.....you're a master!!

Sorry looks like we hijacked the thread.
 

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Everyone had such high hopes for me for some reason. I guess as the oldest of three I am supposed to be the responsible one. Yet I have accomplished nothing really meaningful in all of my life. I don't want to be in my 30s, still single and working a job I hate. I think I have a fear of failure and that has caused me to stress and worry all these years.
I know that I don't fit in this age sector but I already feel this way. I stress about dying without having done anything worth stating all the time. And fear of failure has always been present in my life. All in all, a pretty useless post but I was just surprised and had to comment on seeing someone else feel the same way. :|
 

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I know that I don't fit in this age sector but I already feel this way. I stress about dying without having done anything worth stating all the time. And fear of failure has always been present in my life. All in all, a pretty useless post but I was just surprised and had to comment on seeing someone else feel the same way. :|
No need to put pressure on yourself, especially at such a young age. At the risk of sounding like a New Age nit;
Trust the Universe. Life is not a competition. Everyone has something to offer. It's just that those with SA have talents that are less worldly, less overt. My father was often ridiculed in his lifetime for lack of street wise sense and poor financial choices. But 500 people attended his funeral . The world misses people who are naturally kind(he spent most of his retirement volunteering for charities) but may apppear like losers during their lifetime.
 

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I feel exactly the same! I'm 35, single and without a job. It's frustrating as I went from outgoing, with a GREAT job, studying at university to become a primary school teacher, active in my community and raising my 2 sons. I do work for my parents (if you can call it work as I can do it as I please.. Just bookwork) I do care for my Mum also as she had a mini stroke a fair few years ago and has needed care since.
 

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I feel exactly the same! I'm 35, single and without a job. It's frustrating as I went from outgoing, with a GREAT job, studying at university to become a primary school teacher, active in my community and raising my 2 sons. I do work for my parents (if you can call it work as I can do it as I please.. Just bookwork) I do care for my Mum also as she had a mini stroke a fair few years ago and has needed care since.
Welcome tr33hugg3r, and sorry to hear about your mother and your work. I also had a similar issue -- My father died from a stroke in 2008. His motor skills deterioted very quickly after the brain hemorhage, but even 30 years before that, he had been missing an arm and had paranoid schizophrenia for the whole time I knew him. I was closer to my mother for that reason, but now she's declining too.

I'm probably the most guilty of straying from jamesd's OP, but I think we all collectively painted the picture that we try our best to catch up or even get ahead, but everybody eventually gets worn down.
 
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