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Hey guys. My name is Noldi. Here's my story.

So, I'm a freshman in high school now and I started to have SA around 8th grade in middle school. I'm still searching for the exact event that might have triggered it because maybe there might be a way to reverse it? My first few signs were of SA from what I remember was that I became increasingly self-aware. Today I believe i'm hyper-aware about myself every social moment of the day. What happened in middle school was that I seemingly started to forget about what is the natural way to act, talk, make eye contact (etc) around other people in social situations. By other people I mean classmates and teachers. I became more quiet and generally more self-aware. I would think before I would do or say something a little more than average. Then middle school ended and high school started. I don't know why but my SA levels increased a lot. Even during the summer, I would go out and get a book from the library that I needed to read for the high school I was going to go to (summer reading) and I would immediately start sweating as soon as I left the door out of my apartment and went to the library. I became so nervous and I would think am I being normal? Why am I thinking like this? Stop sweating. Why are you sweating, you're just going to the library? It's something normal people do and feel "natural" about it. Today, my symptoms in high school are worse. Since I live in New York City, I have to commute to get to school. While going on the train ride to school in the morning I'm EXTREMELY self-aware. I would step into the train and I would immediately think about where should I be looking at while I'm waiting to go to my destination to look "natural"? Should I stare at the ground? Should I occasionally move my head around taking in the sights? Should I look at other people? Should I look at ads? This problem is killing me everyday because most of the time, I decide to sleep through the train ride. But even during the sleep, I think to myself, is someone staring at me and thinks I look weird because I'm sleeping? I don't really have any friends to talk to on the train either which makes me feel even weirder because EVERYONE has a friend to talk too. My problem isn't only on the train too. It's throughout the school day too. For example, the teacher is teaching a lesson and looks around the room while he/she is talking and then makes eye contact with me? I start feeling scared and very anxious and don't know where to look. I start looking back up and down in their eyes and I look like a nervous wreck. This is around my classmate friends too. Sometimes I don't even know how to look at my parents right either.

I know I posted this in the introduction forum, but I'm posting it again here so I can get some advice. If you wish to give advice, share or relate your own stories, I would love to read them.
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