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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Does anyone else feel like they make a lot of acquaintances, but not very many friends in school? I feel like that's me right now. I might go to dinner with someone once or twice, but it seems like eventually they just forget about me even when I try to keep in touch with them afterwards. It's very frustrating. Granted, I'm only in my first year of college, so I have some time to make friends. It's just that I never have much luck.
 

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The Worst
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Yup. Tell me about it. I say hi to lots of people in the hallways but none of them are my friends. I would never see them outside of school and I know once I graduate I will never see them again

I hate to be cynical about it, but I believe it happens because by this age, normal people already have strong friendships from their childhood/teenage years. Everyone I've spoken to--without exception--mentions their "best friend" or "friends from home" in conversation. They already have all the social connections they'll need; unless someone is unusually charming it's hard to break past the "I already have close friends" barrier.

The few friendships I've managed to make are never deep. I'm always the last resort friend--I always have to initiate contact, and they never see me outside of class unless all their other, closer friends are busy. I put so much into my friendships but I feel like I never get anything out of it because our friendship just doesn't mean as much to the other person. :/ It's the worst feeling...

It's been this way my entire life, not just in college. So, I really don't know how to make it better. Maybe try to find some quiet/shy people to make friends with? It's difficult because there's awkwardness on both sides, but if you work through it there's a better chance of them not having a strong social circle already. They way they'll (ideally) be more open to forming a real friendship with you.
 

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Annoyed Kitty
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Story of my life. Sorry, not entirely sure how to get to "friend" level so I can't offer any advice. :(
 

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Was only able to make classroom friends, mainly because I was the bookworm who did every assignment. Once the class was over, it was as if we've never met before.
 

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Exactly how everyone feels. But I like acquaintances, they're friends with distance.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Yup. Tell me about it. I say hi to lots of people in the hallways but none of them are my friends. I would never see them outside of school and I know once I graduate I will never see them again

I hate to be cynical about it, but I believe it happens because by this age, normal people already have strong friendships from their childhood/teenage years. Everyone I've spoken to--without exception--mentions their "best friend" or "friends from home" in conversation. They already have all the social connections they'll need; unless someone is unusually charming it's hard to break past the "I already have close friends" barrier.

The few friendships I've managed to make are never deep. I'm always the last resort friend--I always have to initiate contact, and they never see me outside of class unless all their other, closer friends are busy. I put so much into my friendships but I feel like I never get anything out of it because our friendship just doesn't mean as much to the other person. :/ It's the worst feeling...

It's been this way my entire life, not just in college. So, I really don't know how to make it better. Maybe try to find some quiet/shy people to make friends with? It's difficult because there's awkwardness on both sides, but if you work through it there's a better chance of them not having a strong social circle already. They way they'll (ideally) be more open to forming a real friendship with you.
This is, for the most part, what I'm going through as well. I hate feeling like I am just other people's last resort. What bothers me most is how most people seem to be making close friends with their roommates so easily, while I am here still trying to find my place in college. It's tough. What year are you going to be in this fall?
 

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The Last Outlaw
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Does anyone else feel like they make a lot of acquaintances, but not very many friends in school? I feel like that's me right now. I might go to dinner with someone once or twice, but it seems like eventually they just forget about me even when I try to keep in touch with them afterwards. It's very frustrating.
I'm smiling because its the same once you start working.
I'm sad because its the same once you start working.

101 acquaintances, 0 friends...and it only gets harder as you get older.
 

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Does anyone else feel like they make a lot of acquaintances, but not very many friends in school? I feel like that's me right now. I might go to dinner with someone once or twice, but it seems like eventually they just forget about me even when I try to keep in touch with them afterwards. It's very frustrating. Granted, I'm only in my first year of college, so I have some time to make friends. It's just that I never have much luck.
I can totally relate to you, I moved around 5 times. The first time I moved was at a young age and I actually made very good close friends and then I went to middle school and I'm the only one that got separated from the group. Then I moved to another middle school and I made a small amount of friends because over there everyone was friends since kindergarten. Then I moved and started as a freshman in a new high school and barely I mean barely made a friend. I made two friends after a year. By that time, everybody was sooo closely knit that nobody wanted anyone new because they've already developed close friendships. So I just gave up and came out a loner. College is supposed to be different but I doubt it, it's gonna be high school all over again. My best friend that I had known for more than a decade moved, so I don't have a best friend.
 

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The Worst
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This is, for the most part, what I'm going through as well. I hate feeling like I am just other people's last resort. What bothers me most is how most people seem to be making close friends with their roommates so easily, while I am here still trying to find my place in college. It's tough. What year are you going to be in this fall?
I'm a 5th year senior (well, only 4.5th year--I'm just one semester behind). So far I've made a grand total of 3 friends in college--none of which I'm very close to. Two of them have moved away and I haven't heard from them since. After I graduate I'll probably see #3 again either. :/

I think letting down your guard and opening up to people plays a huge factor in whether or not people will spend the time getting to know you. But generally people make a surface-level effort to introduce themselves. If you don't reciprocate their openness and enthusiasm from the start, they usually move on and don't try to deepen the friendship. Normal (non-socially impaired) people assume that quietness means you're not interested in conversation. They don't get how people can be shy/anxious.

I know that I tend to be closed off when I meet new people. I've been hurt too many times by "friends" in the past to really trust anyone to care about me, so it's really hard to just "open up" and "be myself". That might not be the case for you, but I know that's a big part of why I can't make friends easily.
 

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Oh, I definitely know how you feel. I can't turn a corner without someone greeting me but I only have two or three people I'd call friends and we never interact outside of school.
 
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