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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't like playing victim. So normally, when a friend and I are in a jam: I apologize first. It doesn't make me the "bigger man". I just hate fighting with someone I appreciate.
But lately all my friends have shirked any accountability for these stupid arguments and (good god) drama.
I get it: you don't want to be my friend because I'm awkward, because I'm stupid. I'm taking medication, Zoloft for my depression, Concerta for my ADD, I have problems. But I don't hold a mirror to your face.
And it scares me: "what if they're all right about me...?" and I've had that thought process for the past four years. And its driven me neurotic.
I've had people tell me to "be myself", only for them to judge me when I do. Only to tell me that the way I am is incorrect. Really?
Now I feel awkward again. I feel like **** and they don't see anything wrong with making me the scapegoat. I hate being here.
I WANT MY INNER HEAD TO STOP TELLING ME TO HATE MYSELF.
 

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"Pick your thoughts like you pick your clothes".... you have to force those good thoughts forward and the hateful thoughts away. It sounds really cheesy, but I work on this everyday. Changing your mindset can be a huge thing. But also, you don't need those people - you can be independent and strong. You deserve respect, and you shouldn't have to feel you need to apologize for your existence - you have the right to be here, just like everybody else. I suggest Tony Robbins youtube clips - they're very motivational and he really emphasizes no BS positivitey.
 
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