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I've spent the vast majority of my 25 years of life pretty much alone. Never had friends, never dated... I used to have what I thought was a nice little family life, but it became abundantly clear to me long ago that my family doesn't care about me. The sad thing is, as a kid, the "perfect life" I saw for myself in the future was for me to have a strong connection with my family, a great group of friends, and an amazing lady to spend my life with.

And unfortunately, I've been unable to have any of those things. I absolutely hate being "alone" the way I am. Granted, I'm pretty introverted, so I do appreciate time to myself, but I basically feel completely isolated from anyone and everyone.

I always thought that, with "practice", my social skills would get better and I would naturally make friends, date, etc., just like everyone else does. But that never happened.

It's occurred to fairly recently, though, that it simply doesn't matter what I do or what I say; regardless of any of that, I'm just completely worthless to everyone. I have no value to anyone. What I feel, think, say, what I have to offer, none of it matters. Because I am worthless. That's why I've always been alone, that's why I'm currently alone, and sadly, that's why I'm going to grow old and die alone. That's why my family doesn't love me. That's why I can't have friends. That's why an awesome girl will never want to be with me. I have no value. I'm "unlovable". I'm useless. I'm worthless.

That said, that's a very painful realization to come to. I guess I'm just wondering how to cope with that better...?
 

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We all deserve something.
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I don't think theres a way to cope with the loneliness 100% I think no matter how comfortable you seem to be about being alone, and accepting that you'll be alone forever, you'll still have a little spark inside you that hates being lonely, that wants to find some cure, find some way to find someone who can understand you, and care for you. I believe there is still hope for you, my friend. I'm not gonna tell you to just accept who you are, and deal with being alone all your life. There has to be a way to help you, you just haven't found it yet. You have to get out of this mindset that you're going to be alone forever, you need to fight it, no matter how anxious you get, you have to get out there and try, if you don't try you're just going to end up worse off, there has to be a way out man. Don't give up.
 

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I am a lot older than you and still fighting feelings of failure and worthlessness. At least when you are in your teens and 20s you have hopefully most of your life ahead of you to change.

Don't wait too long.
I did.
You will regret it; big time.

I still cannot accept my own worthlessness.
It is too painful and humiliating to accept.
 

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I don't think theres a way to cope with the loneliness 100% I think no matter how comfortable you seem to be about being alone, and accepting that you'll be alone forever, you'll still have a little spark inside you that hates being lonely, that wants to find some cure, find some way to find someone who can understand you, and care for you. I believe there is still hope for you, my friend. I'm not gonna tell you to just accept who you are, and deal with being alone all your life. There has to be a way to help you, you just haven't found it yet. You have to get out of this mindset that you're going to be alone forever, you need to fight it, no matter how anxious you get, you have to get out there and try, if you don't try you're just going to end up worse off, there has to be a way out man. Don't give up.
I completely agree with this statement. No matter how down and out you are you will always want to be with someone. I tried to come to terms with being alone forever, but just couldn't. Even if it's just blind hope. Blind hope is better than no hope at all.

It would be easier to give up. definitely easier, but trust me the ****ty feeling of being worthless will follow you forever.

Don't say you'll never be with anybody. Say it might be close to impossible, but even if there is a shadow of a chance I'll give it a try
 

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I've waited too long but could care less. We're all just biological robots doing the best we can within the limits of our dysfunctional programming. We're always being infected by the mind viruses of society where parents and friends and politicians and advertisers tell us what and how to think and feel and behave. If you still have a healthy core self it is buried under a ton of garbage beliefs in the dumpster of illusion. The worthlessness comes from feeling that you can never be as happy and well-adjusted a robot as the other "normal" robots are.
 

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It's occurred to fairly recently, though, that it simply doesn't matter what I do or what I say; regardless of any of that, I'm just completely worthless to everyone. I have no value to anyone. What I feel, think, say, what I have to offer, none of it matters. Because I am worthless. That's why I've always been alone, that's why I'm currently alone, and sadly, that's why I'm going to grow old and die alone. That's why my family doesn't love me. That's why I can't have friends. That's why an awesome girl will never want to be with me. I have no value. I'm "unlovable". I'm useless. I'm worthless.
Instead of obsessing over what you believe the world is denying you, why don't you focus on what you can give to the world? You want love but do you give love? You want to be valued but do you value others? Do you tell them you appreciate them? Do you do anything to contribute to the world around you?

A lot of us with SA don't realize how little we give and then wonder why we don't receive anything.
 

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Get accustomed to it is what I tell myself. Very Young I realized that after years of physical abuse and witnessing it at home I felt it was no longer affecting me so bad and I had grown accustomed to it. When people asked me about bruises at school or why cops came by my house I did not Think it was anything Worth explaining, it was my reality, my Life and in retrospect I feel pity for that young boy that once was, who cried his eyes out hopelessly wishing that things would get better.

Before I knew it I have stopped caring. When I meet people and at work I wear a mask, cause the inside is now rotten and my health is deteroriating, mainly because of a bad diet, but I like to Think also because of a broken soul.
 

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Instead of obsessing over what you believe the world is denying you, why don't you focus on what you can give to the world? You want love but do you give love? You want to be valued but do you value others? Do you tell them you appreciate them? Do you do anything to contribute to the world around you?

A lot of us with SA don't realize how little we give and then wonder why we don't receive anything.
I don't understand how someone with SA can give love to others, We can't even connect with anyone.
 

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I can understand where you are coming from. I realise that I spend maybe a maximum of 1hr a day around others, when I eat dinner with my family. Other than that, I am alone every hour of every day. I do absolutely everything alone. If I just stopped existing tomorrow, it would have zero effect on the world. My immediate family would miss me I guess, but in terms of me, and what I contribute to the world, nothing would be lost by me not being here.

I just want a simple life. It doesn't have to be great. Just the basic things like you mentioned, girlfriend, sex, family, friends, good job, hobbies. Life is pretty much just made up of those things. But if you are alone, you have none of that. I don't know how to deal with it either. Sorry I can't give you any advice. I can say the cliched stuff of "don't give up", "just keep trying" etc. but I know that is useless and won't help you at all.
 

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A human being (or living creature) literally can't be worthless. These negative thoughts help nothing, and they're not going to inspire you to move forward.

Sometimes we all get down in the dumps, but you're not worthless, even if nobody respects you right now. Remember that there's a huge difference, and you have to be realistic.
 

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I don't understand how someone with SA can give love to others, We can't even connect with anyone.
You can volunteer at a nursing home and read stores and newspapers to the elderly. Just one example of how you can give love without any deep connection.
 

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You can volunteer at a nursing home and read stores and newspapers to the elderly. Just one example of how you can give love without any deep connection.
Yes let's all give love, that will make everything better. Most people don't care about us you know, we could die rotting in the bottom of a ditch and they wouldn't give a ****ing damn.
I'd rather spend my time and money on myself.

Before any of you accuse me of being heartless, let me tell you, you're not better than me, stop being ****ing delusional. I treat everyone with respect and I'm not rude to people. I just don't need to go and help a bunch of strangers who don't care just to boost my ego thanks very much.
 

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It's occurred to fairly recently, though, that it simply doesn't matter what I do or what I say; regardless of any of that, I'm just completely worthless to everyone. I have no value to anyone. What I feel, think, say, what I have to offer, none of it matters. Because I am worthless. That's why I've always been alone, that's why I'm currently alone, and sadly, that's why I'm going to grow old and die alone. That's why my family doesn't love me. That's why I can't have friends. That's why an awesome girl will never want to be with me. I have no value. I'm "unlovable". I'm useless. I'm worthless.
-Your value doesn't come from other people liking you. Period. There are times when you're alone and even in the midst of that aloneness you still have value.

-You may need to work on your social skills but it doesn't mean your worthless.

All we can do in our lives is try our best. If you're doing the best you can then that's all you can do.

Again, being loved doesn't constitute worth. Charles Manson had people that worshiped him but he was a horrible person.

Accept that your social skills aren't that great and it's something that you may need to work on but to think your worthless because you have poor social skills is ridiculous.
 

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For a normal person it might make some degree of sense to measure yourself by society's standards. The idea of the "American dream" with the fancy job, wife / husband, and 2.5 kids is something to keep your proverbial engine going.

However, for us with severe anxiety, holding to that ideal is just clawing at what happiness we can obtain. Don't define yourself by their book if you're not part of it. Write your own story.
 

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I've spent the vast majority of my 25 years of life pretty much alone. Never had friends, never dated... I used to have what I thought was a nice little family life, but it became abundantly clear to me long ago that my family doesn't care about me. The sad thing is, as a kid, the "perfect life" I saw for myself in the future was for me to have a strong connection with my family, a great group of friends, and an amazing lady to spend my life with.

And unfortunately, I've been unable to have any of those things. I absolutely hate being "alone" the way I am. Granted, I'm pretty introverted, so I do appreciate time to myself, but I basically feel completely isolated from anyone and everyone.

I always thought that, with "practice", my social skills would get better and I would naturally make friends, date, etc., just like everyone else does. But that never happened.

It's occurred to fairly recently, though, that it simply doesn't matter what I do or what I say; regardless of any of that, I'm just completely worthless to everyone. I have no value to anyone. What I feel, think, say, what I have to offer, none of it matters. Because I am worthless. That's why I've always been alone, that's why I'm currently alone, and sadly, that's why I'm going to grow old and die alone. That's why my family doesn't love me. That's why I can't have friends. That's why an awesome girl will never want to be with me. I have no value. I'm "unlovable". I'm useless. I'm worthless.

That said, that's a very painful realization to come to. I guess I'm just wondering how to cope with that better...?
Don't confuse your feelings about yourself with what you're capable of and your worth as a person. The truth is there, but you haven't found it yet. You need to find yourself and get in touch with your true self worth and to do that you need to find your map of self discovery. Seek help and don't be ashamed of how you feel (so many people are in the same boat as you). If you search within yourself you will eventually find it and start on your journey. You are young and have so many years ahead of you to live life and discover amazing things about yourself. Don't think those years are going to be spent feeling the way you do now. How you feel right now is only temporary bud.

The work may seem daunting at first but with some counselling and maybe medication you can kick-start yourself back on the right track. You have convinced yourself so intensely that you're worthless that you have become your own worst enemy. It's gonna take some time to make progress and undo all that, so take patience and don't get frustrated if at first you don't think it's going anywhere.

Man, I read your post and I just couldn't sit here and watch a human being do that to himself. I hope some of these pointers give you something to think about.

By the way, stop lying to yourself that no one cares...Look at all the responses you've gotten from "strangers". If people think you're worth giving advice to, then obviously they see some worthiness of your existence. It's YOU who is SCREWING YOU. Aren't you freaking mad at yourself that others can see your worth, but you are not? Then get mad and don't stand for how you're treating yourself. Only then you will start to turn the corner.

I know this may seem a bit of a harsher response than you probably would want. But this is exactly how I got over feeling worthless. I still struggle with it, but hell I know now that I do have qualities that make me unique and useful to this planet, but this didn't happen until I got tough with myself.

You can do it man. And all your dreams that you mentioned are very POSSIBLE and within your reach. The reason you have not achieved them is because you still have some other work you need to do to yourself before you can handle those responsibilities. It is a process. Keep at it and you will achieve your dreams, though may seem so distant at this point in your progress.

Best Wishes
K
 
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