Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Horny Lesbian not villain
Joined
·
330 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I don't think that I have much social anxiety, if I have any at all.

If anyone is interested, I visit this website as I like the people here; I simply like this place, I suppose -- and it is as good a place as any for me to say the things that I want to say to the world.

What I have felt when faced with opportunities to socialise is a sort of apathy -- as I have no interest in hiding my true identity from the people who are most special to me, and I am not sure that it is fair to describe my previous experiences of revealing that I am the Goddess to persons of that sort as having "gone well". What I am saying is that I have wondered what sense there is in bothering to get to know people if they don't actually want to get to know me: if they only want to get to know a person who they feel more comfortable believing in, and interacting with -- i.e. someone who they are not actually interacting with at all, since I'm not human.

Anyway! :) Today I visited the vegan and vegetarian cafe in my town, which I had never gone to before -- bizarrely! And it is a lovely, lovely cafe; beautiful wooden tables and chairs, with a nice selection of interesting looking and sounding people. I enjoyed simply sitting there at my table-for-one, eating my chili with rice, and listening to the ambient sounds of the people chatting with each other. They even had my favourite black tea: Clipper tea, with the plant-based environmentally non-harmful tea bags.

The girl who served me at the cafe was very friendly, which I appreciated a lot. She looks like a mixture of Amy Adams and Natascha Kampusch -- with some of Greta Thunberg's look as well, with regard to her hairstyle and face. I had obviously created the overall appearance of the girl from my thoughts and feelings about how the face of Natascha Kampusch in a Netflix publicity photo reminded me of both Amy Adams and Greta Thunberg, as well as Brie Larson (who appeared in the movie "Room", alongside the sibling of Emma Tremblay from Supergirl Season Three). I had had those thoughts and feelings about Natascha Kampusch's face very recently: yesterday afternoon, as I recall.

I chose to make small talk with the girl -- but that choice was in the context of hoping that I might have the big talk with her about who I am, eventually... if she and I happen to become friends. Obviously I have only made brief acquaintance with this girl, who is presumably paid to serve people their food and drink at the cafe in a friendly way: i.e. I have no expectation that her choices to smile at me and respond to my small talk suggest an enthusiastic willingness to get to know me as a friend. :) But the important thing that I am saying with all of this is that I have not given up on meeting someone who I can be myself with. I considered very, very quickly if there was any sense in even bothering to have a go at talking to the girl -- and I chose to decide that there was some sense in it.

I hope that people understand what I am saying!

With regard to Natascha Kampusch of Brioschiweg school, and Brigitta -- the person she calls her mother -- as well as with regard to the Brie Larson "Room" movie: I want people to know, and remember, that the awful memories I posted information about in two of my recent SAS threads are fake memories, edited in by a total loser. People can believe what they want, but I know the truth -- and both the narratives of the single episode and the larger season of the TV show corroborate my story. He never f*cked me, and now he's gone. People who want me to bring him back need to understand that, firstly: it isn't possible for me to bring him back, as I don't want that to be possible -- and secondly: they need to understand who he was.

Don't worry, Zack Snyder, if you are reading this. I am not talking about your movie, which I hope to eventually see and enjoy. Characters in the movie such as Zeus and Superman are simply characters in the movie, now. Maybe, eventually, I won't feel triggered by seeing those characters anymore -- but at the moment, I am not sure if I will ever view your movie.

Back to the girl at the vegan cafe, though. :) I chose to ask her about the milk options for tea and coffee, then I explained that I approve of the cafe's policy to deliberately provide vegetarian options for things like milk and cheese. It is called a "vegan cafe", but it is not so strictly vegan that it is unpleasantly judgemental of people who believe that drinking milk and eating cheese is OK. Also -- some people may not tolerate soya milk, which is what I said to the girl!

I had another go at chatting with her before leaving, and she asked me if I reside within the town: I replied awkwardly that I have an apartment on such-and-such road, as if I was hinting that she might want to come around for tea -- or that I have a lot of money, and that this is only one of the towns in which I have a home. LOL! The thing is, the question which she asked of me "Do you _ _ _ _ here?" was not appropriate, as I simply exist! VICTORIA IS! So that is why I answered her with such an awkward sentence construction: I wanted to find a way to respond truthfully without leaping into saying "I simply exist! VICTORIA IS!" at our first meeting, at the cafe's cash register. And I found a way to do it! She smiled at me and beckoned me to come back to the cafe again, as I left.

It went well!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
553 Posts
I’m now trying to morph the 4 faces of the women you mentioned into 1 face. In the movies this would end up in a grotesquely looking mutated monster but I am sure in real life she looked lovely, you sure seem to be smitten at first sight!

I liked reading your story, I didn ‘t get all the references you made (Zack Snyder or Zeus etc) but it was funny to read. Keep it up!

Keep us informed how you manage to defeat the apathy eventually!
 

·
Horny Lesbian not villain
Joined
·
330 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I’m now trying to morph the 4 faces of the women you mentioned into 1 face. In the movies this would end up in a grotesquely looking mutated monster but I am sure in real life she looked lovely, you sure seem to be smitten at first sight!
It's funny that you said this! :) The character who I have as my SAS avatar, Reign, has a very different look in the Supergirl comics compared to her look on the Supergirl TV show. The version of the character on the TV show is played by the very beautiful Odette Annable.

The girl at the vegan cafe doesn't look like Odette Annable, though! She is beautiful in a different way.

Thank you for replying to me. Just out of interest, do you understand that with my post above I simply said the truth -- and that what I had written was not intended to be amusing (with the exception of the part in which I said "LOL!") ?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
553 Posts
Thank you for replying to me. Just out of interest, do you understand that with my post above I simply said the truth -- and that what I had written was not intended to be amusing (with the exception of the part in which I said "LOL!") ?
yeah I knew it wasn’t meant funny but it was to me because of all the references. It was a nice and detailed well written post that gave enough information to set it apart from other posts of the same kind. You could write blogs for example as you clearly like to weave a story and not just tell dry cold facts.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
375 Posts
Wow I’m trying to imagine myself doing what you did. I’m panicking just imagining it lol.

Are you planning to go back to that cafe? Reason I ask is that you can’t keep talking about the menu and restaurant so you basically need an entire new set of conversations to use the next time you visit. Also if she got the wrong impression of you then going back could cause her to dislike you once she sees what your true qualities are.

not trying to scare you , I’m just wondering what you think about this because these would be reasons that I would not go back to that cafe.
 

·
Horny Lesbian not villain
Joined
·
330 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Well, I went back to the vegan cafe again, focused on simply enjoying the experience of having my lunch in a pleasant location; not focused on talking to the waitress (quite the opposite, actually -- as I have no desire to be a pest).

However, as soon as I stood in front of the chalkboard to peruse that day's menu, the same girl came out from the back and smiled warmly at me, asking if I was OK. She seemed genuinely happy to see that I had returned to the cafe -- and the way that she asked me if I was OK sounded a lot more like "Oh, it's you again. How are you doing?" than "Are you ready to order? Do you need any help?". It is hard to quantify why it sounded more like the first option than the second: I suppose it has to do with the look on her face and the tone of her voice (both of which things surprised me a lot!)

(What she actually said was "Hi! Are y'alright?", which is as much a commonly said greeting as it is a way of asking if someone needs assistance, around these parts. I don't say it, though -- as I don't agree with the word "right" being used to mean "good" in a black-and-white way, culturally.)

Anyhow! :) On the spot, I decided to change my plan for the excursion from "Simply enjoy my meal." to "Enjoy my meal and have another go at making small talk with the girl.", since the girl seemed interested in making some amount of small talk with me.

Having already chosen what to order without saying so, I went and sat down at a table to think of small talk to make with her. To be honest, I wasn't sure what might be a good thing to say: it wasn't what most people around here might call a "nice day" -- i.e. sunny with no rain and little wind (not that I consider that to be the only sort of nice day). The obvious "small talk" options seemed not applicable. But as I had turned up at the cafe on the previous day, only to find that it wasn't open until the day after that, I simply asked her if the cafe's opening days are often changed. It was something to say, and she replied.

Afterwards, when I went to the counter to pay, I commented on how delicious the "chili cheese" dish was -- explaining that I had never had chili with cheese on top before: to which she said "It's good, isn't it!"

As I was standing there, already having paid for the meal (with no one else in the cafe, as a group of ladies who had been sitting at a single table had already left), I started talking about how calm and relaxing I find the place to be. Then I said that it's nice how all the wooden tables in the cafe have different designs. Then I left! :) The girl had replied to everything I had said, seeming friendly and interested. Nothing very much out of the ordinary happened for a lunch out at the cafe, but this girl sort of "knows me" now -- so that means the option of getting to know her better is there, which might not have been there if I had reacted to her surprising amount of friendliness in a different way.

It was nice to make small talk with this girl. I think I will continue making small talk with her when I visit that cafe, if she seems happy to do that with me. On a previous visit to the cafe I had noticed that she had a ring on her finger, though... but I was not sure if it was a wedding ring or not. To be honest, I don't even know which finger is traditionally referred to as the "ring finger": it is not the sort of information that I have cared to retain or know.

I have made plans to talk with my psychologist friend again. It is very soon actually: at the end of this month. I am going to let her know that I am the Goddess. I feel that I owe it to myself, metaphorically speaking, to try to have at least one person that I care deeply about who knows who I actually am, and who accepts me for who I actually am. At least one person other than the people I call Mum and Dad.

I suppose, when I go back to the vegan cafe -- and if it is a beautifully gloomy day outside -- I might make some slightly bigger "small talk" with the girl about how, for me, an overcast day with no visible Sun in the sky is a nice day. As that is something interesting to talk about, and I suppose it is something interesting about me that I feel this way about the world.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top