[Joshy123]

Hello.

I believe for the past 5 years or more I have suffered from SA. Finally, about a week ago I went to the doc's and was diagnosed with SA. I'm on medication which is good, but should take 4-5 weeks before we discover whether it works or not.

Anyway, I have a deep longing for a female partner. I'm lonely.
I have a fair few friends that mean everything to me, male and female. But I've never had a girl who was/is more than a friend. It's not like I'm bad looking, or anything of that nature. I think it's just because I'm way too scared to 'make a move'. Anybody got suggestions how to meet girls my age in general? (I';m 17). Where to meet girls with SA?

Many thanks in advance.

P.S - Anybody from Melbourne, Australia?

 

[Gotanonymous]

You could meet girls in school? Where I'm from, girls around that age usually go to "shows," or gigs where local bands play. There is also a coffee shop or two they like to hang out at.

I completely understand being afraid to make a move.. When I think about doing it, I imagine I'd feel like I was being very condescending or creepy. It just feels.. foreign. I'm just not a very physical person, though I'm trying to be more lately. Whereas before, I'd make an extreme effort never to touch or brush against anyone, I'm starting to not avoid the contact or even embrace it, and sometimes even touch back.. like a pat on the arm or brief hand on the shoulder. From what I've gathered, I think already being a physical person would make it less awkward to move towards a more romantic/sexual touch. The same is probably true with verbal moves. The more you jokingly flirt, the less creepy it will seem when they realize you are for real. Plus, it probably helps just coming off as a fun and easy-going person.

 

[jblazer]

You could just spend the rest of your life worried about messing up when hitting on girls, or you could mess up and learn from it.

Get some female friends, be open with them. They can help you out a lot when it comes to this, trust me.

 

[bloggingagainstSA]

G'day! I'm from Melbourne originally but living in the US right now.
Firstly, you are lucky to be diagnosed at such an early age. I didn't work out what the problem was until I was in my late 20s, and feel like I wasted a lot of years.
The fact is, at 17 years of age, there are a lot of guys who have little experience with girls, even some of the confident ones. And being scared of "making a move" is something that everybody has to some extent. But you will never know unless you try.

 

[bht96]

Dating websites. More people today find their partner through the use of this than any other form so there is no reason for any negative stigma to be placed on online dating anymore. It's the easiest way, especially for us SA'ers.

 

[JS86]

P.S - Anybody from Melbourne, Australia?

Holler.

I recommend the SIRC Guide to Flirting. It seems to be the most common sense one you can find, but yet is grounded in research. It might help you identify the signals you need to help you "make a move".