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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
From what I've experienced SA is a subconscious process that is trigger for the most part in my case by difficult people or environment. However I can control lower the response of SA by creating a more comfortable environment. This has been working good deal for my social life ever since I started this comfort zone thing about a month ago. What i do to cut down SA is turn my apartment environment into a comfort zone by wearing earplugs, that way there's not much to be paranoid or stimulated over. A comfort zone doesn't need to have earplugs, but just anything that makes you comfortable. If you haven't found a constant comfort in your environment keep looking.

SA can also be dealt with on conceptual level to certain extent, but for guy with disability like me positive thoughts, accomplishments, conversation starters and realizations wasn't enough. I could conscious think positive thoughts, but if I'm to preoccupied sub consciously with fight or flight than it won't be long before I lose the cheery mood. I think SAers tendency to over analyze is due to consciousness try to calm down subconsciousness; or rather something do with the alarm like the flight or fight response being looped in the Amygdala (sub conscious), while the frontal lode (conscious) tells it nothing wrong. So to calm my sub consciousness, I've put myself in a comfortable environment that reflect rational thoughts; which allows my subconscious side to be grounded with my logical conscious side.

Just More Advice:
Don't follow the stereotype of what you should be, everyone different and you're unique so it's up to you to adjust your environment to suite your personal needs; otherwise people will put you in a demographic for their convenience, leaving you without a choice to enhance your life or choice to be the person you want to be.

Once again these are my experiences, feel free to add.
 

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i lost interest and concentration since its 1:30 at night, but heres what i know

for SA, our natural reaction to situations is negative. even if we have no idea we are thinking negatively, its there. it lowers self confidence, lowers self worth, makes us feel like other people are superior to us, and therefore makes them all intimidating. thats why talking to other people is such a big thing when really, they are just like one of us. because of our subconscious negativity, we subconsciously put ourselves under people without even realizing it. having to talk to someone so much better than us (or so they appear) puts pressure on us to impress them somehow or prove that we are worthy. With this added pressure, we get nervous and anxious

how do you treat SA?
1) find the negative thought. learn to identify it. when it starts, what it is, what triggers it, etc.
2) stop the negative thought. talk to yourself (in your head, not out loud lol) and rationalize it. even if you dont believe what you are saying at first, keep doing it. the moment you feel a negative thought coming on, use self talk. the more you do this, the more you will start to believe it. eventually, it will become second nature to stop the negative thoughts. it will keep becoming more natural until the negative thoughts never happen at all.
3) from there, you can substitute positive thoughts. stuff that motivates you. the more you focus on this positive though, the more natural it becomes and the more you start to believe it until its a natural reaction to feel happy in a social situation instead of nervous.

steps 2 and 3 can sort of be combined into one step.

basically what you are doing is taking what you think to be true, and consciously substituting it with something you dont believe constantly until thinking the new thought becomes second nature. by doing this, you also force yourself to believe in this new thought.

this is the premise of CBT. it takes a lot of conscious effort at first, and it may take some time to recognize your negative thought, and for positive thinking to become natural.
 

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It would be great if this thread became a collective project of users trying to find a solution for the problem and every so often update a compiled master thread.
I don't really have much to add but personally I don't let the anxious thoughts branch out, as soon as I target the initial negative thought I employ the don't-give-a-crap attitude, it's a constant battle of opposition in my head. I've found that if I try to rationalize the problem the anxiety sometimes takes over and further sinks me so I just go against my fears.
 

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This is something I find helps me a bit (not sure if it's effective for others) but when in a group context, with people you are uncomfortable with and you feel it creeping up on you, I try to think about these things and it helps (again not sure if it may work for everyone):

Sometimes to deal with it I usually imagine myself as anybody else in the group and imagine looking at myself and seeing this person standing there fumbling around and not saying a word to anyone. It usually motivates me to try and talk

Something that also frightens me is the idea of the group as a 'whole'. So I try to remember that it is made up of 'individuals', they all have their own little insecurities (no matter how much it affects them) and that they have the same viewpoint as you, just that they don't get fazed or daunted by it.

Anyway like Bouffon said, it would be great if users just contributed there own ideas of dealing with the different aspects of it. You guys have made some great points, I hadn't thought about some of the ideas you posted.
 

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I think the only way to overcome SA is to go out and do the things you fear. I work as a hairstylist and a waitress at a bar. Both force me to go out and talk to people and it's really helped me. If I don't put myself out there I don't get payed, it's great motivation.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
i lost interest and concentration since its 1:30 at night, but heres what i know

for SA, our natural reaction to situations is negative. even if we have no idea we are thinking negatively, its there. it lowers self confidence, lowers self worth, makes us feel like other people are superior to us, and therefore makes them all intimidating. thats why talking to other people is such a big thing when really, they are just like one of us. because of our subconscious negativity, we subconsciously put ourselves under people without even realizing it. having to talk to someone so much better than us (or so they appear) puts pressure on us to impress them somehow or prove that we are worthy. With this added pressure, we get nervous and anxious

how do you treat SA?
1) find the negative thought. learn to identify it. when it starts, what it is, what triggers it, etc.
2) stop the negative thought. talk to yourself (in your head, not out loud lol) and rationalize it. even if you dont believe what you are saying at first, keep doing it. the moment you feel a negative thought coming on, use self talk. the more you do this, the more you will start to believe it. eventually, it will become second nature to stop the negative thoughts. it will keep becoming more natural until the negative thoughts never happen at all.
3) from there, you can substitute positive thoughts. stuff that motivates you. the more you focus on this positive though, the more natural it becomes and the more you start to believe it until its a natural reaction to feel happy in a social situation instead of nervous.

steps 2 and 3 can sort of be combined into one step.

basically what you are doing is taking what you think to be true, and consciously substituting it with something you dont believe constantly until thinking the new thought becomes second nature. by doing this, you also force yourself to believe in this new thought.

this is the premise of CBT. it takes a lot of conscious effort at first, and it may take some time to recognize your negative thought, and for positive thinking to become natural.
I see, so basically CBT is conditioning behavior by rationalizing.
It would be great if this thread became a collective project of users trying to find a solution for the problem and every so often update a compiled master thread.
I don't really have much to add but personally I don't let the anxious thoughts branch out, as soon as I target the initial negative thought I employ the don't-give-a-crap attitude, it's a constant battle of opposition in my head. I've found that if I try to rationalize the problem the anxiety sometimes takes over and further sinks me so I just go against my fears.
I believe there is an ongoing thread for success over SA at the triumph over SA thread, but it isn't very detail. Perhaps i should add my experience to that triumph over SA. Oh yeah, self acceptance or serenity might be the key to not giving a crap. Approval from others can be turn off, since people usually don't like desperateness interfering in there affairs.
 
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