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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
People with S.A. are quite confused about what they really want, and what they should be doing. Hopefully this will help.

I used to think there was a hierarchy of wants; similar to that pyramid I'm sure most of you are familiar with about "needs". Now I believe that there is only really one want, and that we are just really bad at fulfilling it and miss our mark constantly.

All the "things" we think we want are us missing our mark. All those things might be called ignorant wants by Buddhists. There is only one thing that we want, and that is to FEEL a certain way. This is talked about in the psychology of sales, and we have learned that the reason people buy things is because of the emotion they think the purchase will bring them.

The question is, how DO you want to feel?

Here's how to answer that:

Think about the things that you want the most, and imagine you had those things. How would you feel?

It's as simple as that.

So now I have to tell you, whatever you think you want, those are ignorant wants. What you really want is that feeling you imagined yourself having. Those things you wanted WILL NOT BRING YOU THAT FEELING. Not permanently anyway, and not truly.

The actual way for you to feel that way is for you to ACT / BE that way.

If you imagined yourself with a beautiful girlfriend for instance, and it made you feel special/satisfied/comfortable/whatever, you must act as if you are that way.

The ignorant wants don't matter, it is the feeling that we want.

Remember this. Your life is just about feelings, what actually happens is irrelevant.

Get a taste of what it is to feel really good by using your imagination, then strive for that feeling.

Hope this helps.

(To remind yourself of this quickly, just think: We must act the way we want to feel.)
 

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Interesting concept. I always understood how we strive after good feelings ever since I had my long drug phase and would do quite a bit just to get high.

It's hard to change your feelings without changing something in your life or something being altered in your life (or taking drugs, of course). Though, I do believe that simply acting positive/happy can have a definite effect on improving your level of happiness. Putting on a smile and laughing as much as possible can raise your mood too. other than that, I can't see much else we can do, except to be materialistic, strive for a social network, and a lover, in order to be "happier."

As I said, it's interesting idea....
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Happiness is too vague. Like I said, imagine the specific feeling you would have if you did have all of your ignorant wants.

Drugs are about physical feeling, I'm talking about emotions. Drugs just distract us from our negative emotions by making us feel different, physically.

There are a lot of things we do that simply provide distraction, and we don't really know why we like/do it.

Edit:

You know what? I take it back. Happiness might not be too vague.

The reason this works compared to simply pretending to be happy, is that you are aware that it is the feeling that you really want.

When people pretend to be happy it is to get something else that they want (an ignorant want of course), like they want a girl/guy to like them or something.

By saying to yourself, "We must act the way we want to feel," you're reminding yourself of the FEELING you want, and taking your mind off the ignorant want of the moment. Not only that, but by acting that way as well as imagining how it would feel simultaneously, you have become that way.

So next time you are in a anxious situation, just remember to think of the feeling you want, focus on it, and then to act that way.

(But seriously, "happy" has many meanings.)
 
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