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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This isn't really about a relationship which is going on right now or anything like that at all, but it is about a girl I sort of dated once, and the situation now.

So, last year I knew this girl. We were friends through school and we hung out pretty often. She had a boyfriend at the time. Eventually they split, and she and I started to get a bit more intimate. I'd never done anything with a girl before this, though, so I was incredibly shy and nervous.

She asked me if I had ever been in a relationship before. Put on the spot and feeling pretty nervous, I said that yes, as a matter of fact I had. That was obviously a stupid lie. (Which she later realized, to my embarrassment).

So we became a bit of a couple. I didn't realize it then, but she was waiting for me to actually ask her out, to make it official and all that. I was much too afraid to do that. So we got into a lot of arguments and she refused to let anyone think we were together. Things became pretty cold and heated between us, if that makes sense.

Moving on, things further fell apart. Once summer arrived she told me it would be better if we stopped seeing each other and remained friends. She also said that in a few months we would rekindle this thing. But in the end, she went on a date with an older guy, about a week after telling me we'd be together again, and now they're together.

Now that I've explained the basic details of this, here's my question: what the hell should I do now? She's been dating this guy for a year, and seems very happy. I don't mind that, (though I do find myself missing her, and cursing myself for being awkward around her, and losing the entire thing) but should I try to be friends with her? I've gone back and forth on that a lot. I've been speaking to her lately about hanging out at the mall or something, but should I really pursue it? I honestly can't make up my mind, which sucks. I'd like a bit of outside perspective. Is there really any reason to keep things alive with her as a friend, or would it be best to just let her and the entire thing go for good?
 

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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I'd also like to point out that she probably doesn't know anything about the social anxiety bit. She told me that I'm a ***** who doesn't know what love is. That hurt a lot at the time, but now it just makes me angry.
 

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She's been with another guy for a year. It's time to move on.

It sounds like the reason you want to be friends is so you can wait in the shadows to strike the moment things fall apart with her current BF.
 

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Yeah, I would say move on. If you really want to maybe keep in touch. You know an e-mail every few months? I had a bad crush on this one woman. It was hard but I bit the bullet and even deleted her from my IM. I really couldn't see myself having any self-respect AND still talk to her. The situation was different than yours, but still. It might suck, but you might have to break it off completely in order to move on and hold your head up.
 

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She's been with another guy for a year. It's time to move on.

It sounds like the reason you want to be friends is so you can wait in the shadows to strike the moment things fall apart with her current BF.
I definitely agree. I was in a similar situation myself with a guy who I really liked. We seemed to have so much in common and was the type of guy I always wanted to date. While it's hard to move on, you must. The longer you hold on to this person, the harder it will be on you.
 

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cut all contact, if she will hang out with you it will be for emotional support, do you really want to hear all the details of her relationship. invest your energies in finding a new girl. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
She's been with another guy for a year. It's time to move on.

It sounds like the reason you want to be friends is so you can wait in the shadows to strike the moment things fall apart with her current BF.
I haven't really thought about that. I just get torn up between whether I should still keep any kind of contact going between us at all, or whether we should be friends, things like that. Their relationship seems pretty strong, I doubt it'll fall apart or anything like that. I don't love this girl much anymore. At least not consciously. She just means a lot to me as a person.
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
You could say that this problem is actually pretty pathetic, I tend to be emotional and I usually have a hard time letting anything go.
 

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She told me that I'm a ***** who doesn't know what love is. That hurt a lot at the time, but now it just makes me angry.
Many women find that to be a turn on. I'm suprised you guys aren't still together. But seriously, I agree with everyone above, let it go. I'm sorry it worked out that way.
 
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