Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 4 of 4 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
2 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello all,

Sorry for the long post! Just for a little background, I'm 24 years old and currently in Medical school.

I've always lived my life having a few, but very close friends that I keep close to me. Last year, I moved away from them and moved across the country for school where I knew no one. I noticed fairly early on that I had difficulty making friends in this new environment and I wasn't really sure why and I'm still not totally sure why it seems everyone knows each other but no one knows me. I gave it time, and after several weeks, I finally came across a couple, as in two people that I could consider my friend. Two people really that I felt close enough with to talk to outside of school. I felt like I was really trying to meet people, really trying to say Hi, but it felt like there was no one who was interested in saying much back, or ever remembering that we'd met. I'm a decent looking (gay) guy, and I thought that maybe I could at least make an impression enough to stand out in the future to people should we meet again. Since then, I've made a handful of friends that I am comfortable talking to and being around, but I really often just feel "left out" of the "party".

Over time, after feeling like I've been more or less socially rejected over and over when I've tried to make conversation, tried to make attempts, I seemed to have just given up... the thought of trying to say anything to anyone I don't know strikes a deep fear in me. A fear of being rejected again. Time after time, I've told myself that I was just going to try harder to talk to people, to just be friendly to people and see what happens. At times, its been mildly successful, but hasn't led to any new friendships. It almost feels like I've missed the boat... like I'm "damaged goods"... since no one really knows me, I must be a creep, or weird, or strange. There must be something about me that people avoid. I just feel like there's only so much I can take from here, of being rejected and broken down and I don't know what to do.

Previously, I'd never felt too uncomfortable in social situations, particularly with strangers (i.e. the Supermarket, on planes, places where I wont likely have to see them again). I never really considered that I might have some sort of social anxiety/phobia...but its the only thing that makes sense at this point.

I met a guy here that I really like and have been seeing him for several months now, and I've met some people by proxy through him. Talking to him helps me forget that I really don't have many friends otherwise, but at the same time should things change for the worse, I'd be starting back at square one... possibly even worse and it really concerns me.

I'm not really sure what the point of this post is, just trying to get some feedback and see if anyone else has been able to overcome certain aspects of social anxiety enough to develop friendships.

Thanks all!

Capltd29
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,234 Posts
Welcome, Capltd29! :)
 

·
Pastry Case
Joined
·
1,065 Posts
I don't think everyone is destined to have lots of friends and it would seem that in your particular situation, at the moment, this is true for you. You've got a couple of friends that you are comfortable talking to .... be content with that. Perhaps you are missing your friends back home and to some extent, whatever happens where you are now it will never quite 'measure up' to how things were in the past(although you may be viewing that through rosy specs!). Perhaps you are feeling sad at the passage of time and know things will never be the same as they were.

Where friends are concerned, I've always thought that quality was more important than quantity!

Oh, and welcome to SAS!

p.s. for what it's worth, I don't think you have social anxiety. I think you are anxious about your social life, but that is not the same thing.
 
1 - 4 of 4 Posts
Top