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I totally know what you mean, cept for me it's marijuana.

There was a subject post on here talkin about weed, and it seems for a lot of people here smokin it makes their SA worse. For me however, I usually get more talkative and worry less about what other people are thinking about me.

But I like to do it when I'm alone too. Sometimes it'll make me more interested in any mundane chores I have to get done, or it there's no one to hang out with.

Consciously I know it's not good to be dependent on a drug, but sometimes I wish I could smoke pot all the time. It seems to put "blinders" on me, and I'm more focused on the present then pesky, worrisome thoughts about the past or future.
 

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Johny, I get the impression you substitue addictions?

I drank heavly for a while........I have often said, if I could keep two beers in me at all times, then I would be able to fuction, do any job, interview the works, that takes an edge off me...Sadly, I was never able to stop at two beers, what started out as "i'll only have" each night turned into a three four o'clock in the morning.......But I was a good drunk, I would get up, go to work etc......Yeah.......

I ended up in the hospital with a tube down my thoat.....I had od on prescription meds, wash down with too much beer and black velvet........I remember waking up as they were pumping my stomach think, damn, what a waste of beer, they still have heads on them (I got in trouble for humor as well...)
I had a profound experinece while I was out, one of those things that, I would rather not share, ya know, let people think your nuts, I don't need to prove this........
I continued to drink..........When I found out I was pregnant I just stopped.....I thought damn......I'm not going to be able to drink again.........After a while, I had no desire too...........

A couple times in the last two years, I have had occassions to have a couple drinks, and I was shocked, I left a drink on the table, I was done, I, me, really didn't want it........

When you stop......And pick up another habit....It keeps us from having to deal with issues at hand, like pain.......Anger........hurt......So much of that can be in a persons soul..........

Yes, drinking, other drugs can, does make a person feel better..........For a while..........It Usually comes back to bite you in the butt, there are no short cuts............
 

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It's good that you write it out........This may be an un popular.............I, had to feel it, I knew what was bothering me, hard to describe, but I have an idea you know inside what I mean............It sucks, no short cuts!

Odd, I do that to (with eating) I do feel better before I eat.
 

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hema said:
I drank heavly for a while........I have often said, if I could keep two beers in me at all times, then I would be able to fuction, do any job, interview the works, that takes an edge off me...Sadly, I was never able to stop at two beers, what started out as "i'll only have" each night turned into a three four o'clock in the morning.......But I was a good drunk, I would get up, go to work etc......Yeah.......

I ended up in the hospital with a tube down my thoat.....I had od on prescription meds, wash down with too much beer and black velvet........I remember waking up as they were pumping my stomach think

When you stop......And pick up another habit....It keeps us from having to deal with issues at hand, like pain.......Anger........hurt......So much of that can be in a persons soul..........

Yes, drinking, other drugs can, does make a person feel better..........For a while..........It Usually comes back to bite you in the butt, there are no short cuts............
hema, so much of what you wrote there touched home for me. My husband is an alcoholic. He's been sober again for almost 3 years. There were plenty of times when he thought he'd have "just one or two" and then that would be it, but of course it didn't work out that way.

He drank to be numb, to avoid reality. He started drinking when he was 16, after his father died. That caused him so much pain and anger. He went into rehab at 23. He stayed sober for 5 years, then he gave in and started drinking again. He finally quit again (cold turkey - no rehab that time) in November 2002. Now instead of drinking, he has little things he obsesses over. Like playing his guitar, or cleaning. I don't just mean he enjoys these things. I mean, he starts doing something, and it's all he can do. He'll change the things he obsesses over, but there's always something... I don't mind the obsessing though. It's so much better than the alternative.

His sister OD'd on pills and booze a couple times. One of her kids saw the paramedics working on her on the kitchen floor, trying to keep her alive. She got lucky, but she didn't quit drinking until recently. Now she's just taking too many prescriptions. (Trading one addiction for another.)

Johnny, it's great that you're writing things out in therapy. I hope it helps you so you can find a healthier way of getting by someday. :hug
 

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That is so nice to hear! Hey.....Whatever works for him, I think it's great, it takes so much energy to change someting like this... His new ways are not a negative;-)...If it's all he can concentrate on, awesome.......he's not drinking! In time, this will slow down.
It usually takes "Something" to snap us out of it.......I miss the good times I Had while drinking, but I don't miss the "It was a good idea at the time".......
 

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I drank quite heavily when i was a teenager and also did drugs to help me cope with SA. I thought i had beaten the shyness, had a ton of friends ect. I started to realize that alcohol was a problem for me and tried to slow down (only drink weekends ect) and that worked pretty well for a number of years. I then developed an intollerance to alcohol and became violently ill after drinking white wine or liquers.

I still drink but rarely and not to get drunk. My intollerance to alcohol has subsided but i just no longer feel the need or want to have it as a main part of my life.

I haven't done drugs in years.
 

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I think I got through most of college by depending on alcohol and pot. Those turned into harder drugs and combined with SA and GA, I ruined my last semsester. I still drink sometimes. I still have problems controlling it. When I do drink, maybe once a week or so, I cannot stop at 1-2. It's such a relief to feel not anxious, that I overdo it everytime. Then I wake up the next day feeling REALLY stupid. So now I'm trying not to drink at all or to really only have no more than 2. If I could get my hands on it, I'd much prefer to smoke all the time. It's been so long, I don't know how it would make me feel.
 

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Yeah, pot for me can be the same way. I'll say to myself "oh I'll only smoke on the weekends or at parties or in the evening", but slowly it creeps into more times a week, more times a day...

It just feels so good, and if you haven't smoked in a week or so you get REALLY high once you do smoke again. THat makes you want it more and more...

Sometimes I think I can balance it, but if I have a decent sized bag of weed, it's just too tempting!

But like amtoreo said above, it's such a relief to not feel the anxiety, that it makes it easy to overdo it.
 

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hema said:
That is so nice to hear! Hey.....Whatever works for him, I think it's great, it takes so much energy to change someting like this... His new ways are not a negative;-)...If it's all he can concentrate on, awesome.......he's not drinking! In time, this will slow down.
It usually takes "Something" to snap us out of it.......I miss the good times I Had while drinking, but I don't miss the "It was a good idea at the time".......
hema, thanks for the nice comments! I'm really glad that you were able to give it up too. :squeeze
 

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I only drink socially when I'm out with friends, mainly to help me relax. I make the effort to not let it help me in any other situations that SA affects me. I know that would lead to addiction and that is the last thing I need in my life.
 

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i'm so glad people posted about this. i'm still in high school and i've notice that i've been drinking a lot lately....i mean often but not in large quantities. it's usually when i'm with my friends, but i even drink at home. i don't know why. maybe i'm bored or i want to stop feeling depressed, i dont think its anxiety specifically. i smoke at home too, just to get away from it all...i smoke with my friends too but it makes my anxiety much worse.
 

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I'm very strict about using drugs as sedation. I'll never do it. In the long run, it just makes matters worse then they began to be. What's the point?
 

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Elsa wrote:

Sometimes I think I can balance it, but if I have a decent sized bag of weed, it's just too tempting!
And you're up there in VT, which I can't wait to visit soon. I really hope I can make it up there because I know it's a beautiful time of year. My friend that I'd be going with is like a modern Spiccoli, and everyone he knows up there is either growing it, has lots of it, and so on. I imagine you might be bombarded.

Drinking tends to make me extra tired in the morning if I drink the night before. I've switched back to Miller Lite, because it is 4.4%, so I can drink more and have a full stomach and a little buzz, and often it's my main course meal in the afternoon/evening, in addition to a nice salad and whatever else is laying around. I drink a little more when I'm with my friends, but honestly I don't know if I do it feel comfortable around them. If strangers show up, then yes, and also at bars. mainly I get drunk with others because it's another social crutch to have a beer in your hand, just like a cigarette.
 

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JohnnyEnnui said:
I wasn't going to get into this, but for whatever reason, I don't function well after I eat, so I wait until the end of the day, once I have worked on everything that I need to get done, to do so. (I developed this pattern when I was anorexic.) I need to get something in me, though, so I smoke and drink coffee and cokes during the day and smoke more and drink alcohol in the evening, until I'm ready to eat. (No wonder my body's a mess, huh?)
WOW, I thought I was the only one that did that , I developed this routine in highschool when I was having lots of problems with ED's, I would go all day , sometimes day(s) , then stuff my face inbetween those days .. I get up about 8:00 am
I will smoke ciggs and drink soda all day and night untill about midnight , then around midnightish eat my first meal thing for the day. If I eat durring the day my stomaches is just a painful mess... plus now I've adapted to going a long length of time between eating . somewhere in between eating and waking up to start my day again is when I'm usually drinking alcohol..


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"they'll never see, I'll never be , I struggle on and on to feed this hunger burning deep inside of me"
 

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I see absolutely nothing wrong with being stoned all day. Just my opinion and a contraversial one at that. I know when I used to do it, it did not effect much - just made things easier to do and handle. The more you do it, the less the weird effects people complain about it. And unlike alcohol, which can make you do stupid and crazy things, weed does not. If it does, it means your pot was laced with something more serious. I have a love affair with weed. The sad and ironic part is I haven't done it in four to five years. :cig
 
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