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My first major panic attack happened in college. I was in a public speaking course and had to do a speech in front of a few dozen classmates. Although I felt I was well prepared I completely melted down. It was a truly embarrassing experience. Well I have had many more throughout my life. I try my best to avoid certain social situations. If I see someone that I feel might cause me anxiety I tend to pretend they are not there and keep walking. I have lost many potential friends for this reason because they know I saw them and don't understand the real reason for my behavior. I had one incident where I was in a shopping mall having a conversation with a distant relative. She was with 6 to 8 of her friends. I started having a panic attack so I just walked away. She hates me for it and won't even look at me to this day. I want to tell her the reason but I never will. I feel like I belong in some circus side show. I don't know who I am. Otherwise I'm pretty normal. Good looking, somewhat smart, financially comfortable. My life has little meaning though. I have very close to my girlfriend but have no friends and can't connect to people.
 

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Hey,
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles. ):
Very brave of you to join a public speaking course in the first place though,
I hope your confidence builds back up.
You really could also explain one day what actually happened with your relative;
though I don't tell friends/family I have S.A. I think many would react kindly to it, your relative might be the same.
What do you mean by the "my life has little meaning" statement?
Little direction in the sense of having a career that you love, hobbies, things to do with your time etc?
On a positive note I'm happy to hear you're close with your girlfriend. :)
The rest (friends and connections with people) might follow.
I wish I could give you more practical advice but I'm having similar problems I don't know how to conquer.
 

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Hey Captaincrunch welcome. :hyper
 

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Welcome, CaptainCrunch! :)
 
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