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There's a name for what you're feeling...it's called Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD). Most everyone is concerned about their looks...but when you become obsessive about it, then it becomes BDD. I can totally relate to what you say about your hair blowing out of place, your day being horrible if you have a bad hair day, etc...because that's the story of my life. And getting older doesn't help...there's just way more to worry about.

I've had BDD for as long as I can remember...even back to age 5 (though I wasn't noticeably obsessive at that point). I'm finally getting therapy (CBT)...but I won't take SSRI's, which supposedly are helpful for BDD. Therapy has been somewhat helpful.

I don't have many words of encouragement for you...nothing anyone says can make you feel better...just remember that others feel the same way you do. I'm thinking of you. :hug

You might want to check out http://www.bddcentral.com to read more about it.
 

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How long have you been feeling this way?

I'm told that I look younger than my, choke, choke, well, so many years. *But* when I, me, look in the mirror, all I see is faults.......That's all I see.
On a good day, I think, hey you look pretty good, on a bad day it's like..........All I see is negtive. Hon, there is nothing we can do to turn back the clock, nothing........
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be the best you can be.........Again, being the best YOU can be, not perfect.......Get a good skin care regiime....Alpha hydroxy, SUNSCREEN;-).......Just take care of what you have, that's all you can do;-)

For women.......I look at the total man, I've been attracted to different types of men most of my life.....Some had receding hair lines......."Wrinkles' but I Really didn't see that, I just saw the man.........And........I'm thinking that's how a women will see you.........

We're all getting older it will happen to everyone if we're lucky............If anyone is so vain (vane.........) that.......You don't want them anyway, you want someone for the long haul........
 

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Just date someone your own age. If you're getting older, wouldn't a 31 year old woman have similiar natural aging?

You have to realize, like with SA and other disorders, is that what you're thinking is distorted and is not what other people are thinking. You're projecting your own perfectionism onto others, expecting them to see you the way you see yourself, and like hema said, there are mature nice women out there who will look at all your good qualities and not pick apart every bad detail, and want you for companionship and sharing in life rather than how perfect you look.
 

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Re: Getting older.. your looks changing for the worse

blahblahblah said:
I literally go home just because a gust of wind blows my hair the wrong way....I can't function on my 'bad hair days'..
My hair isn't going to move even in a huricane and there is no such thing as a bad hair day. I trim it down to 4 mm and then let it grow for a couple weeks before cutting it again. It doesn't move, certainly doesn't require a comb, and I can dry my hair faster than I can dry my hands. Simple & efficient and you can do it yourself at home for free.
 
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