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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Well, this is it, I'm tired of waiting for things in my life to change, so I'm going for quantity over quality. I'm going to try to push my social boundaries in at least one way each day. It will probably take me a few months to get to 100. I bookmarked this thread and I'll keep posting as I add new experiences and ideas. Here's how I kicked it off:

I went in to a coffee shop near where I live. I don't like coffee and I have no idea what to order in these places. I had to ask the server to let me look at the menu for a minute, as I started to sweat and avoid eye contact. I couldn't make any sense of the menu, so I just ordered one of the specialty drinks, and luckily I didn't have to answer too many questions about it. I sat down and tasted my drink for a few minutes, and left. There weren't many people around.

I didn't like the coffee at all, but now I'm a little less clueless in the event I have to go out and have coffee with someone.
Time: 10 minutes
Confidence Level: 6 out of 10

The List
001. Went to a coffee shop and ordered something. (July 6, 2009)
002. Went to a pub by myself during the evening. (July 8, 2009)
003. First swing dance class. (July 9, 2009)
004. Sat in on a Toastmasters meeting for the first time. (July 10, 2009)
005. Went out to eat at a club in the Twin Cities. (July 11, 2009)
006. Went downtown to say hi to strangers. (July 13, 2009)
007. Went into another coffee shop. (July 17, 2009)
008. Organized a meetup. (July 21, 2009)
009. Went downtown during a street festival. (July 23, 2009)
010. Went shopping for shoes. (July 28, 2009)
011. Went into a tanning place and talked to the clerk. (July 28, 2009)
012. Went into a downtown pub by myself during the evening. (July 28, 2009)
013. Went to a networking happy hour and talked to strangers. (July 29, 2009)
014. Went to a presentation at work. (July 30, 2009)
015. First successful meetup. (August 1, 2009)
016. Went to a neighborhood cookout. (August 4, 2009)
017. Started small talk with a shuttle driver. (August 6, 2009)
018. Went to visit a friend in another state and had a night out at the bar. (August 17, 2009)
019. Dinner party. (August 18, 2009)
020. Went downtown for a concert. (August 21, 2009)
021. Took a friend out to a movie. (August 22, 2009)
022. Went out to dinner with a group. (August 26, 2009)
023. Went to a social networking event at a bar. (August 27, 2009)
024. Had another Meetup. (August 27, 2009)
025. Went down to Greek Fest. (August 29, 2009)
 

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Sounds like a plan! Good luck with it. :)
 

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Well done on completing your first exposure exercise :) I know how hard things like this can be, so it is a massive achievement.

Good luck with the exposure exercises :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Today I went into a pub. I've been "trying" to do this for weeks, but I think making this thread gave me enough of a push to go through with it. I've only done this once before, on a Saturday morning when no one was there.

I looked at a couple different places...my first choice seemed to be too full, so I drove over to the second choice and they had a lot of people too, enough that I'd have to sit next to someone. I went back to my car and I was about ready to bail out, but I waited a few minutes, came back in and saw a bunch of people had cleared out.

I sat down, got one drink, stared at the Twins game on TV and hoped no one would notice me. The hardest part was just sitting there, feeling like I should be doing something differently. It was a restaurant-type place, so almost everyone was there to just eat with their friends.

I do think it was a beneficial experience, just to get some experience with something that's "normal" for most people. I should have more interesting updates on Thursday and Friday.

Time: 25 minutes
Risk Level: 3 out of 10
Confidence Level: 4 out of 10
 

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I went in to a coffee shop near where I live. I don't like coffee and I have no idea what to order in these places.
Was it Caribou? If so and if you go back, try their "coolers". I liked the carmel cooler - it's desert in a cup...

Assuming you're near the Twin Cities, here's another idea: Famous Dave's in Uptown (aka Calhoun). They have (sometimes decent) blues bands playing 7 nights a week which cuts down on the chit chat if you're sitting close - and they have a bar. It gets full sometimes, but it isn't always. Also, this is old info so check it out if you do go...
 

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God for you mountain5 !!
The only way i could go into a bar by myself is if i have to use the ladies room.
Then i leave staightaway.
Keep at it.
 

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Good for you! It's as much as I can do to just go up to the bar on my own in a pub and order a drink while at least one other person is with me, let alone visit one alone. That must have taken alot of courage. Hope that the next time you choose to visit one alone (if you do again) that you find it easier next time round and also good luck with the rest of your exposure exercises!
 

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Wow this is awesome, good job! I can't wait to hear more!
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Was it Caribou? If so and if you go back, try their "coolers". I liked the carmel cooler - it's desert in a cup...
Yeah, I saw their cold drinks, it probably made sense to get one since it's summer and all. I've been to Famous Dave's, but not the one in Uptown. That's actually not a bad idea for a place to go.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
I just got back from the first session of a swing dance class. I signed up for this a few weeks ago.

I'm still processing it. I've only taken one other dance class before outside of school, that was a line dancing class a few months ago, where I didn't have to partner up with anyone or anything like that. So most of my trepidation centered around the fact that I'd have to find a partner. I was surprised by how many people where there, there must have been 40 people or so of various ages. I was also concerned about the gender balance but it looked like it was even. A couple women were there with their girlfriends, etc.

Overall it went okay, I guess. I feel sorry for the first girl I danced with, I didn't even think to introduce myself and I had a really hard time making eye contact with her. That aspect of it got easier as we rotated between partners.

I took a few arrows to my self esteem, it seemed like just as soon as I thought I was doing good, the woman or the instructor would stop me and tell me something I had to fix. I hate to be "that guy," I don't know why I give off this vibe that I suck at everything I do. I guess I just have to realize I'll never see most of these people again after 4 weeks. I can practice the steps on my own for a few minutes a day, but other than that, not much else I can do.

I have my exercise for Friday lined up, but I'm not sure about Saturday. I have something scheduled for that day, but I don't know if I'm going to count it or not.

Time: 75 minutes
Risk Level: 3 out of 10
Confidence Level: 5 out of 10
 

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I think you need to give yourself more credit! I just read the one where you went into the bar by yourself and said the risk level was only 3 out of 10?? That sounds terrifying to me! That would be like an 8 out of 10 to me :) How inspiring that you're doing these things!
 
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