Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 9 of 9 Posts

· Registered
Joined
·
4,759 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So, my doctor suggested I help a friend with something, but not something really big like getting them out of alcoholism, something smaller, like home renovation. something that has a start and an end and something that helps them.
He suggested it would help for my anxiety to work with someone for someone else’s benefit to bring awareness outside myself.

I don’t really know anyone doing anything.. not sure what i can help with.

Are you guys and gals helping anyone?
 

· Registered
Joined
·
90 Posts
I have a job working for the elderly so I have to help people everyday. I'm not sure if it decreases my anxiety. Some days are very stressful, especially when you help someone out and they just give you an attitude or curse you out. Other times tho, I guess it is rewarding. Some people are very thankful and appreciative and then you feel good about it.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
18,273 Posts
No, I can't honestly say I am. I'm currently sitting in a hotel room in Bangkok - which of course I'm not happy with. (because I'm very fussy and getting old, spoilt and grumpy)

I did give a guy some coins yesterday - so I guess that's a start. I had just been in one of the fanciest shopping malls I'd ever seen - with showrooms for Porsche and Maserati side-by-side. And just up the road there's a poor little guy sitting on the ground begging for a few loose coins.

Puts things into perspective a bit.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
1,578 Posts
It seems like another way to stigmatize mentally ill people by attempting to leverage their plight to benefit others. Maybe those treating mental health issues should just focus on fixing the illness, rather than attempting to turn them into "good people." It's the idea that mental illnesses will improve by doing good deeds that bothers me because it turns it implicitly into a moral issue. People can be pretty awful despite being helped. It seems just as likely that they'll worsen one's mental illness than improve it. That's been my experience, anyway.

There are plenty of people without anxiety disorders who aren't doing much to help others. If I wanted to be coaxed into doing good deeds, there are plenty of other people out there who will do that for free.
 

· (.*?)
Joined
·
10,188 Posts
I agree with the doctor, the few times I've had a chance to help somebody with something small it has felt good and it does take the social pressure off. They can hardly judge you for something you say if you're there to help, after all. You actually know you're not being a burden/annoyance. But, indeed, I have no idea how to end up in such situations and it hasn't happened in many years. It'd work a lot better if you already have a bunch of friends or at least acquaintances who might ask.

People will say volunteering, but that's a huge commitment with lots of complications and big groups, not a small defined individual thing.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
19 Posts
My therapist once told me just to smile, nod, or say hello to strangers on the street as a way of taking a small social step. I did. It was very challenging but felt rewarding over time. I still do it even though I no longer need it as part of "SA treatment," just because it feels good. Maybe you could try that out. Or, if you want to stick with helping someone out, I would suggest not overthinking it. Keep your eyes open for opportunities, and one will show itself :)
 

· Super Moderator
Joined
·
10,208 Posts
Off the top of my head, doing some volunteering might be a good way. You can look for simple, menial and straight forward volunteering jobs if the need for socializing can get too overwhelming.

For about two springs/summers when I use to live right across a beach, I joined a volunteer beach cleanup group that would meetup weekly and I join about a dozen of them over a span of two years. It was relaxing. Some walked in groups, some walked alone to pick up litter. We just wander randomly around the beach and park. A lot of people including me just brought their dogs along and made a day out of it. I for the most part just wander around aimlessly by myself looking for beach liter, while zoning out and listening to music. It gave me an excuse to walk around outside for hours without looking awkward and without a purpose, while also knowing I was technically a part of a group and objective. I did made me feel good and felt productive at the end of the day. At the end of it all, I did get well acquainted with several dozens of regulars that joined. But the group haven't met up again since the pandemic.
 

· SASsy
Joined
·
18,700 Posts
I donate to some charities but that doesn't have the same benefit as actually doing something. I agree that helping others makes you feel good. Even helping animals will give you a little boost. Maybe volunteer at a pet shelter, or something, if being around people is too stressful.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
319 Posts
Alas I don't do much right now really. Mostly because my work hours get in the way. Unfortunately my afternoons and evenings are taken up by working at the hospital. I am a cleaner at the hospital so I'm not really helping anybody.

My church runs various community initiatives but they all conflict with my work jours. But I have volunteered with an introductory course called Hope Explored. This had some very emotional moments when people talked about some tragic and difficult circumstances in their lives.

I have volunteered in the past for the local mental hospital, a carer's charity, and for a couple of charity shops. I found the charity shops very difficult as I was interacting with customers and other staff members all the time. The others were admin jobs which were much easier for me. But I still had to use the telephone occasionally. Many volunteer jobs tend to be quite social eg. befriender, charity shop assistant, telephone etc. but you can occasionally find more solitary things.

An alternative is maybe joining a community site like Nextdoor and seeing if anybody needs assistance with anything in your area.
 
1 - 9 of 9 Posts
Top