"You Do Not Suffer From Social Anxiety" - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-25-2010, 12:31 PM Thread Starter
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"You Do Not Suffer From Social Anxiety"


I'm having mixed feelings right now. I know I've been doing a lot of work to make myself better in the past few years and I know I've come a long way with my SA.

Just for fun, I decided to fill out the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale to see what I would rank.

To my surprise, I got a 32 (55-65 is moderate Social Phobia) and a little message saying "You do not suffer from social anxiety."

It makes me extremely happy to see this (after all, I have been working hard to get better), since I didn't expect to be "cured." I know I still have a lot of anxiety that I need to work through, and these tests are not always definitive, but it's great to hear that I am better at least from one perspective!

"If you are staring at the obstacle in your path, you will never see the way around it."

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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-25-2010, 12:33 PM
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I am happy that you feel joy at the outcome of the quiz but is it from a respectable source? I don't mean to rain on your parade but even a little anxiety in social situations can mean social anxiety.

It is great to hear that you are improving. I am improving as well.

If you fall- fall on your back. If you can look up- you can get up. Les Brown
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-25-2010, 12:43 PM Thread Starter
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rubyruby View Post
what did you do?
I assume you mean "what did I do to get better."

I think what has helped me the most was finding a community of people who I could trust and who accepted me for who I am. My SA was much worse before I became a Unitarian Universalist. After joining such a welcoming community, I felt much more comfortable being myself, which helped me feel comfortable in other settings.

Also what has helped was making a list of things I didn't like about my personality or the way I handled social situations and finding ways to get over each one by one. This was the part that took a long time, but it was very worth it! I felt so much better each time I crossed something off the list.

Feel free to message me if you would like to know more. I'm happy to help in whatever way I can.

"If you are staring at the obstacle in your path, you will never see the way around it."

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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-27-2010, 10:56 AM
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That's just a piece of paper... You seriously think a piece of paper can tell you "You do not have social anxiety". That's comedic. I admire your self confidence, but in your response to how you got better, you stated "finding a community of people who I could trust and who accepted me for who I am" in response on how you got better. Well, is there really such a place besides a tiny village that goes away from reality of society? That also doesn't mean you got better, I guarantee if everyone found a place such as this on the site, a large percent would be "not socially phobic". That option is not reality for all people...
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-27-2010, 11:33 AM
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hmm


"That's just a piece of paper... You seriously think a piece of paper can tell you "You do not have social anxiety".

A fair few people on here write about their SA without first having been diagnosed by a qualified professional. If a website/online test can make you think you have SA when you don't, it is perfectly possible that a test/website can make you think you don't have SA when you do. However, that does not mean that, in the case of the original poster, the test was not correct. The original poster knows their own circumstances and should check in- if they are not already doing so- with a qualified professional to be sure.

"That's comedic"

Forgive me, but, with the greatest of respect, it sounds like you're judging the original poster. If you fear being judged but judge another person then that could also be said to be comedic, could it not?

I admire your self confidence, but in your response to how you got better, you stated "finding a community of people who I could trust and who accepted me for who I am" in response on how you got better. Well, is there really such a place besides a tiny village that goes away from reality of society?"

Reality of society? What happens a lot on this forum and in other places is a lot of negative thoughts and attitudes get collected together and all of it is considered by the followers of the belief system to be the: "reality of society". Society is an idea not constant from one country to the next and more than vulnerable to subjective and relative interpretations.

Moving away from reliance on the negative belief system, prejudices and judgements about other people and the rest of the world, can begin to weaken social phobia and social anxiety. Through doing that and other things it can be possible for "society" itself (whatever that is) to be a place full of people who can be trusted and accept you for who you are.

The followers of the "society is a bad place, dog eat dog, horrible world" belief system shout out evidence along the lines that they got bullied. Someone bullied them and that means that society bullies people. No, it means that, for whatever reason or none, that person bullied them. If we start blaming "society" for the actions of individuals then we should just go and let all the criminals out of jail because, according to the logic of the belief system, they were not responsible for their own actions.

Yes you can argue things like "diminished responsibility" and environmental factors and yes, they all contribute. But an individual has a choice. If they bully you, they do not do so on behalf of "society". Even if someone bullies someone because someone else told them to it: A) they still have a choice and B) that's not following "society" that's following an individual.

It's not as easy or as simple as simply changing your beliefs. But recognising and appreciating that "society" and other people may not be as bad as you might think they are is a good first step to breaking the power of the mental disorder. And yes, "mental disorder", which basically does suggest that any view of the world founded on the basis of a "mental disorder" should automatically be treated as suspect.

"That also doesn't mean you got better, I guarantee if everyone found a place such as this on the site, a large percent would be "not socially phobic". That option is not reality for all people..."

It may not be a reality now. But it certainly good be. You can change your reality so that "society" becomes that place where you can trust people and they accept you for who you are. Just because it may not be a reality for some people right now does not mean it is not possible for those people.

And to the original poster, congratulations on your progress. Given that a few people on here can think and decide they have SA without the benefit of a professional diagnosis, it is perfectly possible that you think you don't have SA anymore and you're right. But get it professionally looked at to be sure.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-28-2010, 07:02 AM
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It's always nice to get affirmation that things are getting better or are different. But take it with a grain of salt of course =)
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-28-2010, 07:18 AM
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This thread is a bit pessimistic... don't you think?

Anyways, congrats on your progress. It is likely that when you feel a change in yourself, the world will change for you. But sometimes a push in the opposite direction is required, a little bit of self esteem goes a long way I think. The small group of people that you feel comfortable in is just a beginning step to overcoming SA. But it's good progress. So congrats again.

If putting things off is so easy why can't you put off procrastination?


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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 05-28-2010, 09:14 AM Thread Starter
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Thanks joinmartin for saying everything that needed to be said.

I appreciate all of the support and congratulations I've gotten, but I feel like my original sentiment was grossly misunderstood.

I never meant to suggest that I was "cured" of SA. In fact, in my post I very explicitly say that the test I took canNOT be viewed as definitive and that it was simply nice "to hear that I am better at least from one perspective." I certainly don't think an online test can prove I've overcome SA.

In terms of "finding a community," I meant that it helped me become comfortable with myself, which eased my anxiety overall. If I hadn't found such a welcoming and pleasant group of people, I would have continued to feel isolated, and my SA would surely have gotten worse. Instead, this comfort allowed me to break out of my shell and helped me realize that the world is not a dark and gloomy place like some on this forum still think it to be.

Like joinmartin said, it is a matter of changing your perspective. If you believe the world is out to get you, then everyone will seem like a potential threat. However, once you realize that most people either don't care enough to intentionally ridicule you or genuinely want you to succeed, it will be much easier to feel comfortable around other people. That is what my group of friends taught me.

And as I said, this did not "cure" my SA (though I have seen a therapist who also told me that my condition was not severe), it made me feel much better.

"If you are staring at the obstacle in your path, you will never see the way around it."

Miniseries: Romeo And...
http://www.youtube.com/user/RomeoAnddotdotdot
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