What do you do when you have a persistent boner and the mail man knocks on the door? - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #21 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 06:36 AM
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Originally Posted by black eye View Post
just put the head of your penis beneath the elastic of your trousers,
so that it points upwards instead of forwards... and hang a tshirt over it

what do i win?
Yup, that's a winning suggestion that will serve one well till you get old enough that you don't walk around with a raging erection 24/7. Actually, I guess old guys can have raging erection problems too. My brother uses an injectable ED drug where the erection doesn't go away after orgasm, as would be the case with any of the oral ED pills (Viagra, Cialis, Levitra) Instead it's an erection that's going to stick around for hours whether you want it or not, so pretty much the same as teens get without pharmaceutical intervention.

Despite the Viagra joke in an earlier post, that's still not going to produce an erection without stimulation and most guys aren't turned on by their mail man.

As for women, they don't have to worry. The mail man or UPS guy isn't going to have a clue how wet your are, and if he does, well, then you're certainly getting a whole lot more intimate with him than merely signing your name & accepting your delivery.
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post #22 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 06:42 AM
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I guess I'm gonna have to buy a wheelchair and leave it by the door... and perhaps have some kind of pillow under my shirt (with a large hole in it) so I look like a disabled obese person who certainly is not hiding an erection in a false apron of imitation blubber. I'll open the door and try to distract the mail man with some idle chatter.

"Lovely morning, isn't it? What? Oh, is that for me? What's that you say? An erection? Ha! If only. [Winks.] No, I'm obese and can no longer walk, hence the wheelchair. [Points at wheelchair.] Running down the stairs, you say? No, no, that was my dog! He always comes running when he hears the door bell. His name? Um, um... yes, he does have a name... er, um, well, thanks for the mail. Bye. [Closes door. Runs upstairs.]"
Heheahha this is brilliant
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post #23 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 06:52 AM
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bananas? we have some unpractical minds here.


just put the head of your penis beneath the elastic of your trousers,
so that it points upwards instead of forwards... and hang a tshirt over it

what do i win?
Yeah I did this in school all the time. It hurts like hell, and now I'm pretty sure people could still tell. And you can't stand up straight when you do that or it starts to hurt a lot.
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post #24 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 06:59 AM
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Yeah I did this in school all the time. It hurts like hell, and now I'm pretty sure people could still tell. And you can't stand up straight when you do that or it starts to hurt a lot.
maybe you have a bigger penis, or a more sensitive one. or a tighter shorts.
i never had a real problem with it.

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to fears, addictions and depression, and many enter through it."

So he said to the Socially Anxious People: "Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves."

"Truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." - The cure
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post #25 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 07:40 AM
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With what I've got nobody would notice!
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post #26 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-22-2015, 02:17 PM Thread Starter
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With what I've got nobody would notice!
It's not the size that counts, it's the... the... I mean... it is more... um... OK, it is ALL about the size.

I just can't lie.
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post #27 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-23-2015, 04:36 PM
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It's not the size that counts, it's the... the... I mean... it is more... um... OK, it is ALL about the size.

I just can't lie.
i don't know,
as long as u are average most girls wont complain,

and some girls even stay with guys with small dicks,
just cuz those guys have nice personalities and they can do other things well in bed...

so its not all about the size

"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to fears, addictions and depression, and many enter through it."

So he said to the Socially Anxious People: "Look, I am sending you out as sheep among wolves. So be as shrewd as snakes and harmless as doves."

"Truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." - The cure
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post #28 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-23-2015, 04:43 PM Thread Starter
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i don't know,
as long as u are average most girls wont complain,

and some girls even stay with guys with small dicks,
just cuz those guys have nice personalities and they can do other things well in bed...

so its not all about the size
Who said anything about girls?
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post #29 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-23-2015, 11:30 PM
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i don't know,
as long as u are average most girls wont complain,

and some girls even stay with guys with small dicks,
just cuz those guys have nice personalities and they can do other things well in bed...

so its not all about the size
Well, you can move it around a lot searching out sensitve target spots! (And then I can be creative! Now really, for Males or Females it's more fun if they want their "bottholes surfed"! )
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post #30 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-23-2015, 11:46 PM
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Hey! Why was my hard on so visible when those 5th, 6th, 7th grade teachers called my name to "stand and read out loud"? *****es! They had to know exactly when every boy had a ****ing boner! How did they know just when I was rock solid?
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post #31 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-24-2015, 04:21 AM
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Luckly I don't think I ever had to stand in class when I was called on. However we had mandatory swimming class. -.-
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post #32 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-24-2015, 12:43 PM Thread Starter
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Hey! Why was my hard on so visible when those 5th, 6th, 7th grade teachers called my name to "stand and read out loud"? *****es! They had to know exactly when every boy had a ****ing boner! How did they know just when I was rock solid?
You should have used the wheelchair and pillow tactic.
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post #33 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-25-2015, 12:31 PM
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I get this sometimes on bus rides. Something about the bumpy soothing nature of being on a bus. Next thing I know I am turned fully on haha. I just pray by my stop it has gone away.
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post #34 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-25-2015, 12:36 PM
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I guess I'm gonna have to buy a wheelchair and leave it by the door... and perhaps have some kind of pillow under my shirt (with a large hole in it) so I look like a disabled obese person who certainly is not hiding an erection in a false apron of imitation blubber. I'll open the door and try to distract the mail man with some idle chatter.

"Lovely morning, isn't it? What? Oh, is that for me? What's that you say? An erection? Ha! If only. [Winks.] No, I'm obese and can no longer walk, hence the wheelchair. [Points at wheelchair.] Running down the stairs, you say? No, no, that was my dog! He always comes running when he hears the door bell. His name? Um, um... yes, he does have a name... er, um, well, thanks for the mail. Bye. [Closes door. Runs upstairs.]"
Wheelchairs are for people who can't get up....you can.

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Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

TROLL ALERT STATUS:
CHAT -> BERT

FORUMS -> ERNIE
(troll activity on the increase)

WATCH WHAT YOU TYPE!
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post #35 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-25-2015, 12:43 PM Thread Starter
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Wheelchairs are for people who can't get up....you can.
Hahaha! Nice play with words... Getting up isn't a problem; it's coming down again.
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post #36 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-25-2015, 12:44 PM Thread Starter
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I get this sometimes on bus rides. Something about the bumpy soothing nature of being on a bus. Next thing I know I am turned fully on haha. I just pray by my stop it has gone away.
I heard just this but about WOMEN! Apparently the bumps and vibrations make some women actually orgasm...
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post #37 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-25-2015, 03:07 PM
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Hahaha! Nice play with words... Getting up isn't a problem; it's coming down again.
- yeah, I had to be careful how I worded it, but you caught it.

Apparently, if you grip the top and hold it for a few seconds, it'll deflate.

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post #38 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-25-2015, 04:51 PM
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Me, having never come onto this triumph section nor this entire site for that matter with a serious, hopeful mind, have decided, out of the blue, that maybe for once I should be serious and maybe there is hope out there. And so with this rare mindset I have astonishingly obtained, I've decided to enter "Triumphs Over Social Anxiety" only to quickly find in a second's time, at the very top, that here beholds a thread with a topic about boners and mailmen. I am truly blessed to say I have finally found the answer to all of life's questions and have come to the conclusion that there is no hope and may God have mercy on my soul..and yeah, and I should go back to acting like an idiot just as I always do on here and type this.

If I can't be my own
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post #39 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-26-2015, 06:15 AM Thread Starter
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I've been thinking about alternative strategies since starting this thread and I think I have an alternative plan that might just work. Here goes - if I answer the door with a gun in my pocket then if the mail man uses the line "Is that a gun in your pocket or..." I can confidently answer that it is not just a gun in my pocket but two guns in two pockets and, furthermore, I can reassure him that "I'm not that pleased to see you"...
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post #40 of 40 (permalink) Old 02-26-2015, 06:24 AM Thread Starter
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Why don't they ever employ twinkies to deliver mail, anyway? They discriminate against pretty slim young men and seem only to hire ugly overweight people with fewer social skills than myself.
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