Unexpected epiphany - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 07:48 PM Thread Starter
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Unexpected epiphany


Last night I was thinking and reading about extroverts and introverts, which led me to beg the question Ďwho has it worse. Whoís is the biggest curse.í I thought to myself: Ďextroverts need people. People define their existence to a greater degree and intensity. And without them they are lonely and donít know what to doí. While the more introverted, like me, worry excessively about what they believe they are not doing right according to an extroverted world, then feel bad and beat themselves up for it. Ultimately though, I decided extroverts have it worse. And thatís when an epiphany hit me.

All this time I had been viewing myself as an introvert living in an extroverts world. Trapped. But I realized I didnít have to look at it like that, and for a moment it reversed itself in my mind. No, instead, it is extroverts who are living in an introverts world. A brief feeling of liberation and euphoria washed over me.

I mean, I have so many tools I can use. I have this mind that searches, and a body at my control. I can manifest a reality out of my thoughts bringing them forth into the world. This is my advantage, not my curse.

It all boils down to me accepting myself, and not worrying about others, and getting on with doing my own thing. Accepting that Iím introverted, and I donít have to play by extrovert rules.

And I think this is a beginning to that point of acceptance. After all, Iíve created a new positive reference point in my mind.
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post #2 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 08:33 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CreepOnARoadbike8 View Post
Accepting that Iím introverted, and I donít have to play by extrovert rules. And I think this is a beginning to that point of acceptance. After all, Iíve created a new positive reference point in my mind.
I agree. Acceptance is crucial. I've reached a point where I almost brag(I'm proud) about my introversion and even my anxiety.
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post #3 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 09:03 PM
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yes, wear the anxiety like a glove of power, mwahahaha

Behavior but flows from thought as thought flows from belief
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post #4 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-01-2012, 11:45 PM
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Yeah, the who has it worst thing I think really comes down to the persons views on things. Also what society they live in.

There's a book called "Introvert Power: Why Your Inner life is Your Hidden Strength" that's a decent read about embracing your introvert-ness.
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post #5 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-03-2012, 02:20 AM Thread Starter
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Definitely. Itís a perspective thing. And thatís what I meant.

It really is hard to accurately explain that experience, but in that shift in consciousness, that reversal, I decided extroverts have it worse. And thatís when the epiphany hit me.

My thinking about the more extroverted having it worse was/is basically: Needing someone, anyone - Being attached to people like that can be something of a hindrance to individual growth. It can be stifling, especially if youíre attached to a destructive group of people. But also you canít, or itís very hard to start, thinking differently.. thinking outside of this and pursuing something different. Something that is healthier for you, because youíre stuck to this idea, this feeling rather, of needing people. I also think that the more extroverted people can get a lot more sad, lonely, and maybe even violent.

Putting it into perspective like that, I realized how free I really can be.. to make my own way. Free to take my own route, -a significantly less traveled route. Free to do out of the ordinary things, and it may and can take me somewhere grand.

I do want to say that for sure there are different shades of introverted and extroverted, not one shade. Obviously everyone is different. This is apparent when I take into consideration the vast array of possible attributes. There may even be social ambivalence where the need, or want, for people comes and goes at varying degrees.

None of this is to say I donít/canít enjoy being around others or someone. In fact I often think it might be nice to meet someone, a girl, just as a friend. Maybe she is in a similar world to mine and we could relate. I donít want to idealize a person, because I know thatís what I fear others will do to me. I donít know, maybe it sounds weird. Itís just.. I find that sweet and gentle temperament that girls tend to have ĖI find it something beautiful.

I think we all share universal feelings. Feelings of fear and desire. (Of course, the different peoples react to them differently). And I think that being subjected to, -whether it be a group of happy, or interesting looking people. Or, a girl you are attracted to. For her skin, her figure, her face, her voice, her mannerisms. Whatever it may be, it has a way of bringing out a want for her. And the more you think about her the more you want to be with her in some way, even if you don't know exactly how or in what way. And I think to varying degrees this much is true for everyone. So, it's the immersion, the seeing, that makes you want. And want more so.

I think for the socially anxious and more introverted, the more you think about what you don't have and feel you are not doing right, -the more you beat yourself up. You don't necessarily want it or need it, but if you're subjected to it, you do to some degree.

So I guess essentially what my epiphany did for me is make me feel more free and realize I donít have to feel like the one the world is coming down on. That I can embrace being introverted - that itís okay to be me, and I actually have a lot of options and things Iím free to go do and try.


Thanks for the suggestion, I'll definitely be checking that book out, it sounds interesting. I really like what I've found and I've been feeling better lately because of it, and the book may help even more.
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post #6 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-05-2012, 02:10 PM
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I mostly agree with your posts. I'll even go a bit further and claim some extroverts are jealous of me.
I'm capable of being in my own world, and I love that. I won't become nervous in a room full of nervous people, because I'm focused on myself. Extroverts seem to depend on how others around them behave.
And like you said, extroverts are very dependent in general. I can have fun all by myself. The only reason why I don't go out and have fun is because extroverts look at me funny. And I rarely get lonely. I like being an introvert. It's a shame extroverts try to make me seem like a weirdo.
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post #7 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-06-2012, 08:33 PM
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dont ever let that feeling go!
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post #8 of 8 (permalink) Old 09-06-2012, 08:59 PM
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This is a great realization. Down with introvert shaming!
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