**** this **** im talking to these people

I'm just gonna talk in class. I will raise my hand, talk to other students and if I get laughed or judged then so be it.

I'd rather get laughed at FOR TRYING then for being the abnormal, quiet, weird moving kid.

And talking is TRYING!!!!

SA is the only thing that has been in my mind for the past year, its plagued me like trauma(it is trauma tbh) and every time I think about judgement, I'm always plagued by a burst of negative emotions which are extremely overwhelming. The emotions are usually a combination of anger, resentment, sadness, anxiety, misery and so on.

This one person who always judges me didn't judge me whilst we were doing our exam (which made me so happy) but right after she finished her exam she started judging me. Once she started judging me, my anxiety sky rocketed and my focus dwindled. I failed that exam despite studying my *** off because of her judgement. She on the other hand probably got a good grade, after that moment I realized I'll just have to talk and face this like a man, enough is enough.

If you don't face Social Anxiety, no matter how scary it is. Be ready to have it for another 20-30 years as this never goes on its own. As hard as it is, you have to replace complaining with action.

How is it going, were you able to participate in class? Anxiety is either getting better because you are working on it and exposing yourself to your triggers or it is getting worse because you are engaging in avoidance behavior. It is a constant work in progress.