The second chapter of my life finally seems to be starting - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-18-2015, 02:57 PM Thread Starter
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The second chapter of my life finally seems to be starting


I've been a member of this site for a very long time - all you need to do is see my join date. One quick glance at my posting history and you can see the extreme lows that I've had over the better part of 10 years. I would always read threads like "how I overcame my social anxiety" made by throwaway accounts, less than a few months old and scoff. I thought these people didn't really know about struggle, it was marketing crap etc.

I haven't overcome my social anxiety by any stretch of the imagination, but I have basically accomplished almost every goal I thought I would never attain, which all happened in the last 2 years. It's really crazy, because 2 years ago I was still living at home at the age of 25. I thought I would live at home forever, and never be an independent adult.

So I moved out 2 years ago, because I was basically forced to due to family issues. My friend got me a job in a restaurant, totally out of my comfort zone, but I took it out of necessity. I went from living at home comfortably, barely working, just playing video games all day and feeling sorry for myself, to having 2 jobs, living on my own, and being completely independent. Last year, I traveled with some friends for 19 days across Asia, something I've always wanted to do. Even after all of this, all of my accomplishments, I was still incredibly sad, because I felt like something was alluding me.

I was convinced I was going to die a sad, lonely virgin. I toyed with the idea of having sex with prostitutes so many times. I was so scared of being intimate and actually talking to girls. And it finally happened, just this month actually. I lost my virginity and got a girlfriend. And we even met in RL, not online. I tried so many times with OKC, and I could never find something that peaked my interest, or I became too scared to follow through.

So here I am, 27 years old - I avoided wizardry by the skin of my teeth, I moved out, I'm back in school going for my BA, I traveled for the first time as an adult internationally, I have another trip planned for next year, and I have a girlfriend. And even after all of that, I'm still depressed, and I'm still suffering from social anxiety. But I persevered, and I became a better person for it. And I will continue to persevere until I finally get to a place of true happiness. I'm not there yet, but I know I can achieve what I want. All of these things seemed literally impossible, but here I am. It seems almost unreal. Especially about being in a relationship, and losing my virginity.

Just keep going, no matter what. no matter how dark your life gets, no matter how little hope you have, just keep the tiniest shred of it alive. Life works in mysterious ways, and you literally never know what will happen or who you will meet and change your life in crazy ways. Find your passion, and pursue it. Live a life filled with things that make YOU happy, and everything will come together. never stop self improvement, and somehow, someway, it all will come together. If you don't believe how ****ed up of a dark person I was, look at my post history. Especially my threads I've created. I know what you're going through.
So there you go everyone, my best advice from someone that has truly lived it.

You'll never be in love like you were the first time you heard the first lines of your favorite song
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post #2 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-19-2015, 08:06 AM
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That is so inspirational, I feel very encouraged after reading it. You did so well to get from such a dark place to where you are at today. Thanks for sharing your story.
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post #3 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-19-2015, 08:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sean88 View Post
Just keep going, no matter what. no matter how dark your life gets, no matter how little hope you have, just keep the tiniest shred of it alive. Life works in mysterious ways, and you literally never know what will happen or who you will meet and change your life in crazy ways. Find your passion, and pursue it. Live a life filled with things that make YOU happy, and everything will come together. never stop self improvement, and somehow, someway, it all will come together. If you don't believe how ****ed up of a dark person I was, look at my post history. Especially my threads I've created. I know what you're going through.
So there you go everyone, my best advice from someone that has truly lived it.
Excellent, man!

The last paragraph rings so true! Just keep moving! I have also improved a lot from a very similar point of isolation, though, I can't say I have attained some of the goals you have yet, but I'm trying, and am getting some successes in the girls department, and would love to travel.

Thanks for the inspirational post, and awesome that you are fighting for yourself!

Congratulations!


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post #4 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-19-2015, 05:03 PM
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Good stuff my friend Seeing threads like these is really inspiring so I'm sure everyone who read this can agree with in saying thank you for sharing.

"Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." - Albus Dumbledore
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post #5 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-19-2015, 07:41 PM
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Congratulations!


Your story was uplifting.
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post #6 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-19-2015, 11:24 PM
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Glad to hear about your success! I wish some hopeless members here would venture to this section and read stories like this.

As for for anyone stuck in life, action is necessary to get anywhere. So getting a job got the ball rolling for you and eventually led to some major accomplishments. Keep up the good work!
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post #7 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-19-2015, 11:50 PM
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I read, it just doesn't make me feel any less hopeless...

Anyway, congrats. You're going to make it out of here alive. Too bad about the wizard powers though

Here's to life, the vice
The great herald of misery
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For this is the nectar of the spirit
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post #8 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-20-2015, 01:22 AM
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Congrats! Sometimes a little "push" can make a huge difference!

For some on this forum, the million dollar question is though: if you hadn't been forced out, what would've happened?
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post #9 of 12 (permalink) Old 10-20-2015, 02:21 AM
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Sometimes it's more about the small victories. If we set the bar too high, like to beat SA/depression then we'll most likely just get discouraged and give up.
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post #10 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-21-2015, 02:06 PM
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Well, you are tough then.
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post #11 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-21-2015, 02:24 PM
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Awesome to hear!! This makes me have some hope~
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post #12 of 12 (permalink) Old 12-21-2015, 08:38 PM
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Originally Posted by sean88 View Post
I've been a member of this site for a very long time - all you need to do is see my join date. One quick glance at my posting history and you can see the extreme lows that I've had over the better part of 10 years. I would always read threads like "how I overcame my social anxiety" made by throwaway accounts, less than a few months old and scoff. I thought these people didn't really know about struggle, it was marketing crap etc.

I haven't overcome my social anxiety by any stretch of the imagination, but I have basically accomplished almost every goal I thought I would never attain, which all happened in the last 2 years. It's really crazy, because 2 years ago I was still living at home at the age of 25. I thought I would live at home forever, and never be an independent adult.

So I moved out 2 years ago, because I was basically forced to due to family issues. My friend got me a job in a restaurant, totally out of my comfort zone, but I took it out of necessity. I went from living at home comfortably, barely working, just playing video games all day and feeling sorry for myself, to having 2 jobs, living on my own, and being completely independent. Last year, I traveled with some friends for 19 days across Asia, something I've always wanted to do. Even after all of this, all of my accomplishments, I was still incredibly sad, because I felt like something was alluding me.

I was convinced I was going to die a sad, lonely virgin. I toyed with the idea of having sex with prostitutes so many times. I was so scared of being intimate and actually talking to girls. And it finally happened, just this month actually. I lost my virginity and got a girlfriend. And we even met in RL, not online. I tried so many times with OKC, and I could never find something that peaked my interest, or I became too scared to follow through.

So here I am, 27 years old - I avoided wizardry by the skin of my teeth, I moved out, I'm back in school going for my BA, I traveled for the first time as an adult internationally, I have another trip planned for next year, and I have a girlfriend. And even after all of that, I'm still depressed, and I'm still suffering from social anxiety. But I persevered, and I became a better person for it. And I will continue to persevere until I finally get to a place of true happiness. I'm not there yet, but I know I can achieve what I want. All of these things seemed literally impossible, but here I am. It seems almost unreal. Especially about being in a relationship, and losing my virginity.

Just keep going, no matter what. no matter how dark your life gets, no matter how little hope you have, just keep the tiniest shred of it alive. Life works in mysterious ways, and you literally never know what will happen or who you will meet and change your life in crazy ways. Find your passion, and pursue it. Live a life filled with things that make YOU happy, and everything will come together. never stop self improvement, and somehow, someway, it all will come together. If you don't believe how ****ed up of a dark person I was, look at my post history. Especially my threads I've created. I know what you're going through.
So there you go everyone, my best advice from someone that has truly lived it.
So happy for you!
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