The second chapter of my life finally seems to be starting
I've been a member of this site for a very long time - all you need to do is see my join date. One quick glance at my posting history and you can see the extreme lows that I've had over the better part of 10 years. I would always read threads like "how I overcame my social anxiety" made by throwaway accounts, less than a few months old and scoff. I thought these people didn't really know about struggle, it was marketing crap etc.
I haven't overcome my social anxiety by any stretch of the imagination, but I have basically accomplished almost every goal I thought I would never attain, which all happened in the last 2 years. It's really crazy, because 2 years ago I was still living at home at the age of 25. I thought I would live at home forever, and never be an independent adult.
So I moved out 2 years ago, because I was basically forced to due to family issues. My friend got me a job in a restaurant, totally out of my comfort zone, but I took it out of necessity. I went from living at home comfortably, barely working, just playing video games all day and feeling sorry for myself, to having 2 jobs, living on my own, and being completely independent. Last year, I traveled with some friends for 19 days across Asia, something I've always wanted to do. Even after all of this, all of my accomplishments, I was still incredibly sad, because I felt like something was alluding me.
I was convinced I was going to die a sad, lonely virgin. I toyed with the idea of having sex with prostitutes so many times. I was so scared of being intimate and actually talking to girls. And it finally happened, just this month actually. I lost my virginity and got a girlfriend. And we even met in RL, not online. I tried so many times with OKC, and I could never find something that peaked my interest, or I became too scared to follow through.
So here I am, 27 years old - I avoided wizardry by the skin of my teeth, I moved out, I'm back in school going for my BA, I traveled for the first time as an adult internationally, I have another trip planned for next year, and I have a girlfriend. And even after all of that, I'm still depressed, and I'm still suffering from social anxiety. But I persevered, and I became a better person for it. And I will continue to persevere until I finally get to a place of true happiness. I'm not there yet, but I know I can achieve what I want. All of these things seemed literally impossible, but here I am. It seems almost unreal. Especially about being in a relationship, and losing my virginity.
Just keep going, no matter what. no matter how dark your life gets, no matter how little hope you have, just keep the tiniest shred of it alive. Life works in mysterious ways, and you literally never know what will happen or who you will meet and change your life in crazy ways. Find your passion, and pursue it. Live a life filled with things that make YOU happy, and everything will come together. never stop self improvement, and somehow, someway, it all will come together. If you don't believe how ****ed up of a dark person I was, look at my post history. Especially my threads I've created. I know what you're going through.
So there you go everyone, my best advice from someone that has truly lived it.
You'll never be in love like you were the first time you heard the first lines of your favorite song