Share your Personal Story of Change! - Page 6 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #101 of 156 (permalink) Old 03-28-2014, 11:46 AM
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Originally Posted by SilentOrchestra View Post
It's been about 4 years since I posted anything here.

The VERY short version is this: I used to be so socially anxious I couldn't make friends, date, or withstand being in public in general; it was painful, confusing, terrifying, and I was a very awkward, nervous, mute girl....But I relentlessly pushed myself every day, and I accomplished everything I dreamed of and more; pursing my interests, friends, school, work, and best of all-a relationship! X3

I would say what helped me the most was joining clubs that fit my hobbies, doing volunteer work so that I had to socially interact more, becoming more spiritually active, and just fighting my anxiety one day at a time.

Don't get me wrong, I have my shy moments and public speaking will probably always be something that makes my palms damp, but I don't let my anxiety rule over me anymore-He's been usurped! :P

good to hear that girl... i'm happy for u.
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post #102 of 156 (permalink) Old 04-02-2014, 09:09 PM
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I watched a video of myself, and I realized the weirdest thing


I always dreaded the idea of watching a video of myself, but I actually went through with it today because I had to for class, and man, I actually found out Im no where as near as weird as I imagine myself being. It really helped me not feel awkward, and to actually be confident for once

I would highly recommend people try this.
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post #103 of 156 (permalink) Old 05-28-2014, 06:46 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilentOrchestra View Post
It's been about 4 years since I posted anything here.

The VERY short version is this: I used to be so socially anxious I couldn't make friends, date, or withstand being in public in general; it was painful, confusing, terrifying, and I was a very awkward, nervous, mute girl....But I relentlessly pushed myself every day, and I accomplished everything I dreamed of and more; pursing my interests, friends, school, work, and best of all-a relationship! X3

I would say what helped me the most was joining clubs that fit my hobbies, doing volunteer work so that I had to socially interact more, becoming more spiritually active, and just fighting my anxiety one day at a time.

Don't get me wrong, I have my shy moments and public speaking will probably always be something that makes my palms damp, but I don't let my anxiety rule over me anymore-He's been usurped! :P
so inspiring.

"In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, I have overcome the world."
John 16:33
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post #104 of 156 (permalink) Old 06-12-2014, 11:57 AM
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I had an interview today for my first part time job! I owned that firetruck like no tomorrow. Guess who's gonna be getting a job!!!

Failure is a stepping stone to success
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post #105 of 156 (permalink) Old 06-24-2014, 12:19 AM
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It's been quite a bit since I last wrote a post. Well, I've had many ups and downs. The biggest "down" was taking a leave of absence from school. The leave of absence became permanent; I withdrew from college. Though I consider withdrawing from college a negative, I try not to beat myself up for making that decision. Considering what I was going through and how depressed I was it was only a reasonable choice.

Since I stopped attending college I was able to receive treatment and was placed on medication. The therapy helped a lot. Talking to my counselor was difficult at first but eventually I was able to confide in her. I cried and we laughed together and she was really supportive. Therapy helped me realize many things that hurt me, the damaging relationships I had, and made me self aware. I broke complete contact with my ex who only added darkness to my life. I began to believe her words that I was beautiful (I also happen to suffer from low low self esteem).

Around that time I also got a job... as a sales associate. Though I was extremely anxious the fear of failure and disappointing my manager made me push myself. I played the part of cheerful sales associate as best as I could. It was my first job and I wanted to perform my best. In the end though, I was unhappy. I felt like I was creating a fake me. Soon I left that job and took up another one and I've been employed with the same company over a year now.

My current job actually requires heavy customer interaction. But for some odd reason I like the company's big size and high customer traffic. I guess it allows for certain anonymity. I talk to coworkers though and still try to converse. Although I've seen many improvements, I still find it hard to strike up conversations. I've become better at managing my anxiety though and I push myself more to get out of my comfort zone.

To make this a bit shorter, I have improved but I know that there is still more room for improvement. For example, I just recently started going (occasionally) to the employee's lunchroom. I try to maintain a more positive attitude now. And I'm happy to say I'll be going back to school soon.


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post #106 of 156 (permalink) Old 07-02-2014, 09:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by herz View Post
It's been quite a bit since I last wrote a post. Well, I've had many ups and downs. The biggest "down" was taking a leave of absence from school. The leave of absence became permanent; I withdrew from college. Though I consider withdrawing from college a negative, I try not to beat myself up for making that decision. Considering what I was going through and how depressed I was it was only a reasonable choice.

Since I stopped attending college I was able to receive treatment and was placed on medication. The therapy helped a lot. Talking to my counselor was difficult at first but eventually I was able to confide in her. I cried and we laughed together and she was really supportive. Therapy helped me realize many things that hurt me, the damaging relationships I had, and made me self aware. I broke complete contact with my ex who only added darkness to my life. I began to believe her words that I was beautiful (I also happen to suffer from low low self esteem).

Around that time I also got a job... as a sales associate. Though I was extremely anxious the fear of failure and disappointing my manager made me push myself. I played the part of cheerful sales associate as best as I could. It was my first job and I wanted to perform my best. In the end though, I was unhappy. I felt like I was creating a fake me. Soon I left that job and took up another one and I've been employed with the same company over a year now.

My current job actually requires heavy customer interaction. But for some odd reason I like the company's big size and high customer traffic. I guess it allows for certain anonymity. I talk to coworkers though and still try to converse. Although I've seen many improvements, I still find it hard to strike up conversations. I've become better at managing my anxiety though and I push myself more to get out of my comfort zone.

To make this a bit shorter, I have improved but I know that there is still more room for improvement. For example, I just recently started going (occasionally) to the employee's lunchroom. I try to maintain a more positive attitude now. And I'm happy to say I'll be going back to school soon.
You've a positive trend. Keep going.
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post #107 of 156 (permalink) Old 07-17-2014, 07:08 AM
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Self Esteem!


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Originally Posted by theuprising View Post
what helped the most was the concept of mindsets and the idea that you are not your thoughts. Your thoughts come at you but only have an emotional impact if you buy into the reality of them, and when I'm feeling really down in the dumps I just recognize that I have a sh1tty mindset and change it to a more self serving one.
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Originally Posted by RubyTuesday View Post
Shame and judgements about having this "disorder" perpetuate it. I believe that shame will keep a person locked in this same lonely and painful experience.
THIS. I've had social anxiety ever since I can remember, dealing with irrational amounts of fear and shame around it. People used to think I was stuck up and cold because I was so afraid to acknowledge them. I ate lunch in the bathroom to avoid having to meet new people, etc. etc., you get the idea.

I started seeing a therapist after my parents' divorce, and she called attention to my self-judgements. What triggered my anxiety were thoughts like, "What's wrong with you? Be more like that outgoing person. Look, you're failing again. Look, they hate you, of course they don't want to talk to you. What you have to say is stupid." Of course, when I had thoughts like this, I acted strange outwardly. People can sense when someone they're talking to is uncomfortable, and they can't help but reflect it back. My therapist put it this way: would you want to have a conversation with someone who didn't respond, who didn't contribute, who made you do all the work?

This made me realize that people didn't want to talk to me NOT because of who I am, but because of the way I acted. This is huge, because it means there is nothing wrong with me as a person. In fact, in the few times I could be relaxed and open with people, they ended up liking me.

Self-judgement is the root of all the fear and anger I felt. And it really had nothing to do with reality. When I trained myself to actually LIKE the fact that I was shy, to accept it and be proud of it, my anxiety grew weaker and weaker. Shyness is a part of who I am, and I'm proud of that. While I'm still quiet, it's not because I'm afraid of talking. It's because I'm thoughtful about what I say. When I notice the judgmental thoughts, I catch myself and say, "No. That's not true. You're quiet, and that's okay. That person doesn't hate you. Just relax."

And I found that when you don't feed that nasty little voice in your head by believing it... it starts to get weaker. It will always be there, but now I'm not ruled by it. I can just notice it, and laugh at how irrational it is. Because I know there's nothing wrong with me, and even if I mess something up, I'm okay.

Since then I've traveled by myself to Southeast Asia, Central America and Africa, have put myself in a work situation where I constantly have to deal with people, and I'm learning the work it takes to maintain friendships. I still need a lot of time to myself, and that's totally fine. But I no longer feel guilty about it.

For me, self esteem was the problem. As soon as I started working on accepting myself and all my faults, my problems with anxiety melted away.
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post #108 of 156 (permalink) Old 08-19-2014, 09:29 PM
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Well, things are looking up. Though still very shy and nervous of the world, I have a job interview for a CNA position for in-home care. I have just graduated nursing this summer and received my CNA certificate. I am really proud of myself for going through it. I never thought I'd be able to! A deep learning experience and pretty rewarding. I still lack so much confidence though in my CNA healthcare field. I have only begun to learn the basics in the class, and have a lot to learn in general. But, overall, I did get some interests in my resume from some people. So, got an interview for a job this week. Pretty scary and I'm nervous.
I also took initiative and called on the telephone this week to do some business. I usually get my family or husband to do it. lol

You can't keep dancing with the devil and wonder why you're still in hell.
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post #109 of 156 (permalink) Old 08-26-2014, 09:23 AM
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Senior year. All upper-level university classes.

Two of the classes= all students leading a daily class lesson+ class discussion being worth 25% of my grade for both clased. Participation>Written Exams &Lecture

No way out. Need them all to graduate by May.

Welcome to 'pre-graduate school' life, I guess.

Time to pull out the old and rusty SA books.

"Plan for the worst, hope for the best.
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post #110 of 156 (permalink) Old 08-28-2014, 05:20 AM
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After months of panic attacks before social situations and as a result a great deal of social isolation, depression, and loneliness, yesterday I spent all day at a training course for a volunteer gig that seems like it's going to be awesome, and made a potential new friend who came over for tea after and who I felt really comfortable around. Hooray!
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post #111 of 156 (permalink) Old 09-22-2014, 09:17 PM
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Things are changing... for the positive... I think? My life is becoming busy and i dont have time to think about being a loser. It still isnt busy enough but I have many people texting me and am making new friends... I only hope that I can maintain this.

the noose is tied.
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post #112 of 156 (permalink) Old 09-23-2014, 03:46 PM
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I forgot about SAS!


Without intending to offend anyone within this community... Today I accidently stumbled upon a social anxiety group forum online and realized that I had completely forgotten about Social Anxiety Support - and I was delighted! Though I was never one to come here too often, I feel like forgetting it existed is an example of how far I've come with social anxiety.

For quite some time I struggled with anxiety and depression. I saw a few therapists, I took a couple of different medications. In many respects I was lucky and well - I was able to get myself to school and do well, I went away to college, I maintained steady employment. But I was definitely unhappy, definitely struggling.

I think things finally began to change a couple years ago. I was on medication at the time (though I feel like it wasn't doing much good) and started seeing this new therapist. My intentions were different, though, by this time. It was getting to the point where enough was enough. In the beginning I did as I always did, I slapped a smile on my face and acted like everything was cool when I felt like I was going crazy inside. But that doesn't work for that long; after a bit it becomes clear that, really, no progress is being made. Funny, it seems a bit ironic, but reflecting on it I feel like the choice I finally made that set in motion some real changes was this - I didn't do anything! To be more clear, mostly when I was with a therapist and things weren't working (because I was still acting in the same old patterns) I would just leave. As in, no discussion, just leave a message on the office answering machine saying that I wasn't coming back anymore. But this time I stayed. It wasn't working and no progress was being made but I stayed.

It's hard to try and explain why I feel like that was a significant thing or how that may have led to actual change. It seems a bit paradoxical. I feel like I was forced into seeing how I was contributing to my own suffering. Not in a self-shaming sort of way. But just to sit and stay and sort of watch the results of my own unwillingness to participate in the process...It was painful in such a way that it forced me to finally try to do something different. Maybe it had to do with the therapist, maybe it had to do with timing, I don't really know. But I do feel like a turning point.

That was about two years ago or so and I am still seeing that same therapist. However, quite a bit of actual work has been taken place since then. I am no longer on medication. I exercise regularly (it's cheap and, in my opinion, more helpful than any drugs I ever took) and do my best to eat well. I limit my caffeine and alcohol intake. I (try to) limit my sugar intake. I meditate. I push myself to engage socially with others whenever the opportunity presents itself. I am taking classes in graduate school and am actually a TA for one of the professors there (twice a week I get up in front of a group of about 15 people and talk...for like an hour!) Though there's been no official conversation about ending things the idea of leaving therapy is not such a crazy idea anymore.

Being well, to me, is not being perfect. I think I still have to remind myself of that one. There are things I continue to struggle with. I am a person prone to anxiety and depression, I'm pretty well aware of that. But the thing I love now is that's sort of where it stops. Everyone has their challenges and these are mine. Social anxiety is not so much this big thing it once was, I don't feel myself as taken over by a disorder, by a label. It's just another bad habit, another difficulty the way pressing snooze 6 times each morning is a bad habit or trying new foods is a difficulty. It's just something to work on.

Full disclosure: I am saying this on a day where things are feeling pretty decent. I know other days I don't feel as chipper and grateful. I don't want to pretend that life is perfectly easy now and nothing is uncomfortable or even painful. It can be. But that's more acceptable now that it has ever been in my life. Things truly feel like a work in progress.

I would have never guessed it years ago but it's nice to believe that change is possible. Difficult, sure, but also incredibly possible.

Best of luck to you all

"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ”
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post #113 of 156 (permalink) Old 10-04-2014, 02:20 PM
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Hello everyone.

Just feel compelled to share my story as this community has provided me with much support and insight in tackling s.a. I apolagise for the rant but feel it necessary to explain my own situation and how I ended up with s.a.d. and more importantly how I overcame it.
Back in my school days I was very academic bright and relatively confident. Socially speaking I was always popular and communicated effectively.

However the biggest mistake of my life was just after I had finished college and had a gap year before university. Cut a long story short I became severely addicted to cannabis. Using everyday and at high quantities. My confidence quickly gave way to extreme paranoia. Became extremely self conscious around people. This got to a point where I did not leave my house for over three years. No exaggeration. The only time I managed this was when I was drunk. Literally would walk into lectures out of my face. Dropped out of uni. Tried to go to another uni and same thing happened. Would always end up back smoking cannabis. Lost the majority of my friends and the depression was now literally killing me. Admitted to hospital after slitting my wrists.
Many failed treatments. I have been on every anti depressant under the Sun, councilling c.b.t practically everything u can think of and had absolutely no success or improvement.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore. Had nothing to lose and I knew that any change would have to come from me and no drug was going to remedy this. I had lost everything. I was broke. No degree and barely any friends. Couldn't look my own parents in the eye and a rather bleak future in front of me.

How I overcame s.a.d.
Within 6 weeks and giving absolutely everything I had my s.a.d has gone. No depression happiest I have ever been. I'm 23 and I run a successful gem trading business, dealing with clients both overseas and in the u.k. earn more then any of my friends and all the people who looked down at me. This is how I did it:

Exercise. If your a drug addict like me then this is the healthiest and most natural way to get the endorphins release. I box to relieve the stress and make sure it's my morning ritual.

Abstinence: no excuses here. Stay away from weed at all costs. Do not drink more then once a week.

Meditation: vipassana. Seriously, this single factor changed my life. Went on ten day retreat. Please do not think this is easy. Hardest thing I have ever done. However my s.a.d was as a result of racing thoughts and a kind of flight or fight response. Vipassana will cure this or at least help u manage this. Kind of hard to explain this part but it's best thing I could recommend.

C.b.m : anyone with a smart phone please download this app. Play the face game 15 mins a day. Will help a lot with negative thinking.

Diet: have a well balanced diet. 5 a day. Make sure it's nutritious and if you want to lose weight then just reduce portion size none of this no carb crap just leads to hormone imbalances.

Medication/supplements. Absolutely no medication what so ever. Always made me worse. However, and I am extremely apprehensive of all these herbal remedys and claims. But one I have to reccomend is TURMERIC. Cannot emphasise this enough. Again I'm not the kind of placebo patient. This is the only thing that worked. Black pepper mixed with turmeric and made into tea. Alleviated my depression substantially.

Also omega 3s seem to have had positive impact.

Ok I know everyone is different but I'm telling you now if you follow this you will improve. If like me you have tried everything and to no avail please try the above. One more important point is do not stay isolated. Take everyday at a time but try going library or whatever just to get out there. This is hard. People without s.a.d would never understand this. They empathise with there own moments of shyness and think they can relate to our problems. Really hope I can help here. I've changed my life in 6 weeks. Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck
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post #114 of 156 (permalink) Old 10-04-2014, 02:22 PM
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Sorry one last thing. If you smoke do your best to give up. Must try and remove the coping mechanisms. But was smoking 30 a day and this was hardest part
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post #115 of 156 (permalink) Old 10-08-2014, 02:19 PM
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rejection & lack of attention or respect from others has driven my attitude to an ascending force of confident rebellion against subjective judgement.

My long term efforts with formal etiquette got me nowhere. I tried so many strategies. Feeling bullied made me fight back.

I started life as an angel. I'm not changing from my current state. I want to change the people who caused my grief. They've caused grief all around by suffering my aggression


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LIFE = LUCK. No magic. someone made a fluffy subjective decision which affected you and will forever
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post #116 of 156 (permalink) Old 10-09-2014, 02:53 AM
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I had registered on this forum a couple of years ago and got banned quite quickly for insulting other users and putting some pictures of corpses on my profile. Now I'm confident enough to say that things have changed since then. Well, they changed not that much, people around me probably couldn't tell I changed since they didn't even know how deeply depressed I used to be, but now I'm a more stable person and don't get as depressed as previously. Life is flowing with its ups and downs and I don't worry that much anymore. Now I don't avoid talking whenever I just want to talk and just spit out some thoughts not caring too much what would the person think of me. Though I'm still very shy and socially anxious, that's why I'm here. But still this is my little success story.
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post #117 of 156 (permalink) Old 10-19-2014, 11:38 PM
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Hmm my social anxiety can trace back to middle school I am 20 now it hindered my ability to have friends and the ability to talk to girls was obsolete. It was miserable up to when I joined the marine corps. My first week in boot camp was the roughest, most miserable experience in my life. My social skills sucked and boot camp was hard. Through exposure therapy and the brotherhood my sa had transformed into something better. Last night I had sex and had to actually say no to another girl who wanted to have breakfast. In the first time in my life I'm actually the one saying no to the opposite gender. My social anxiety is no where near to obsolete but it is 100x better than before and even getting better.
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post #118 of 156 (permalink) Old 01-24-2015, 08:16 AM
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Remember, you can decide to change your life for the better. Social skills can be learned, you just need to practice them.

Anywhoo, here is a pic of grading sheet for my Public Speaking Persuasive Policy Speech. It was on ineffectiveness of Assault Weapon Ban. The teacher is actually liberal, who ran some democratic senatorial campaigns.

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post #119 of 156 (permalink) Old 02-21-2015, 08:42 PM
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Well done! you deserve to be treated well Actually, I am shy around cute guys too. So you are not alone

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Originally Posted by mevsme View Post
Hey guys.
I've been really shy all of my life and thought it was just part of my personality. I became sick of being so shy and not doing what I wanted and thought, "Why can't I do this?" I used to have very low self-esteem. I thought if what I wanted didn't come to me than I would never get it. I hated letting people walk all over me but didn't want to say no because I didn't want to start an argument. But then I thought, "Well if I say no and they get angry at me, than they're stupid and our relationship isn't worth it." People look down at you for not stepping up. They take advantage of kindness and I'm sick of making all the sacrifices. I've become more confident and proud of myself. I take more care in my looks and wear much nicer clothes than I used to. I know that other people are wrong sometimes and I can't let their negativity stop me from getting what I want. I know who I am, and that's all that matters.
I try to be very friendly towards people but if they disrespect me or I don't like them then I won't. People get what they deserve.
Of course I still have battles with insecurities so I don't think I'm quite where I would like to be at when it comes to self esteem. I struggle with acne and weight issues that keep my confidence low. But that's gonna change. It will take time but with effort I know I can do it. I take extra care for my skin, diet, and exercise.
I'm still really shy when it comes to cute boys though, haha. And I'm still a quiet person, that's part of my personality and won't change. I'm just not energetic and outgoing. But I've grown a lot and I can talk to people if I really want to. I can voice my opinion and not feel like I'm wrong.
Battling with social anxiety has helped me with other things. I can do what I want without holding myself back. I feel like it's worth to at least try.

Click "Quote" instead of "Reply", otherwise I wouldn't know if you have replied.


Favourite quotes:

You have to take chances for the things you care about. (even if it means making a fool out of yourself)

99.9 percent of the time, whether people like you or not, has nothing to do with you.

Never let social anxiety doubt what you love.

SA is just the result of not developing confidence, esteem and people skills.

Do the thing that will make your soul shine.
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post #120 of 156 (permalink) Old 03-16-2015, 09:50 PM
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Had first serious job interview the other day. It went okay I think. I messed it up a bit admittedly, got quite nervous, but I am over it and moving on without too much thought. Kind of nice.
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