Put my photo online.
I don't know why I did this but are not going to believe the story I am about to tell you so get ready for it!
So I got curious one night about what people thought of my looks, I have never put my photo online but that day I just felt like I had nothing to lose and I was really curious.
I got my camera and after a lot of tinkering with software I got it to take a photo of me( it is playstation 3 eye camera) on my pc.
I asked my friend to put it up on 4chan and you maybe know how horrible those anonymous guys can be, well I was discovering my own sexuality and well I decided to wear a dog collar it just fit me I thought I looked good in it.
Anyway my friend my online friend put my photo of me up on 4chan and asked them to rate me out of ten and ask what they would do with me alone, I was pretty frightened the build up was intense but slowly but surely I got some replies.
At first it was things like I rate you as a dog and I would take you for a walk or kill I thought they were pretty funny but when I got serious responses....well I swelled with pride and happiness it felt so good to be complemented, people rated me 8/10 and said they would do me doggy style and then 9/10 and they would rape me but they all asked for more photos of me.
I did not post anymore photos of myself on 4chan but filled with newfound online confidence that also boosted me in real life to I travelled to a fetish dating website for bdsm, you may not know what bdsm is not a lot of people do that are not interested in it but basically think masters/slaves bondage and you get the idea.
I took some more photos with my collar on and although I didn't smile a lot of people liked my look, my deep eyebags and almost jetblack hair seemed to attract a lot of peoples attention to my profile.
It is not all good however I was tricked on my first day, a lot of.....older men say in 40+ oldest being 68 wanted to be my master and I had never heard a complement about myself in such a long time and since im bi I didn't mind that much until I got almost exclusively older guys wanting me.
I am 22 and due to anxiety I have bad experience with people and these guys new everything what to say to me but one in particular pushed it, he was 21 and a bi sexual like me he liked the same fetishes as me and his photo was cute and he started sweet talking everything he did was planned to perfection upon me, I fell in love with him the same day I met him but something was up as I discovered the next day.
The 21 year old guy I fell in love with.. my online friend did some research and discovered his photo was.not.him I couldn't believe it so I confronted him about it, he confessed it wasn't him but he still loved me so obviously enraged I had been tricked and well used (he got a photo of my ***) I demanded he show a photo of the REAL him or I will cease contact with him forever, I got it.. he was a greasy looking, 30 ish, indian man with more than a few drips of creepy infact he idolised white boys and wanted to be one just like well me, I cut him of and blocked him and deleted every shred of contact with him while I cried and cried and stabbed at the table and even scratched my legs deeply with a knife the pain was intense.
After grieving for half a day I wanted to get back into the action this time much more aware of these fakes. I took to the forums of this dating website and introduced myself sharing my love for eyebags and pale skin and my fetishes.
The women mistress (female masters) were so kind to me they really cared about me and toldme EVERYTHING to expect and why the oldmen prayed on me. Soon after I started finally getting girls looking at my profile and best of all they wanted to help and they liked my eyebags, it felt like a family they really wanted to protect me.
So now as I learn more and more about bdsm and myself I am confident I will very soon find someone I love upon this great great dating website. There is a lot of etiquette to learn but my social anxiety feels so weak in dating now and it may not be much of improvement since it is online communication but I feel loved and worthy of loving not just myself but others to.