Post Here Whenever You Take A Positive Step - Page 8 - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #141 of 163 (permalink) Old 02-26-2020, 12:42 PM
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Positve... hopefully? I went back on psychiatric drugs. Things had been getting way out of hand and I couldn't see it.

Not a 'triumph over social anxiety' but whatever.
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post #142 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-28-2020, 04:34 PM
pls don't eat bats, thnx
 
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well I did a video call yesterday for the first time. but all my fears about doing one are still there as I feel like those fears actually came true. so I am still no closer to being able to successfully do video calls with people...

I like donuts
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post #143 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-30-2020, 10:19 AM
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I reduced my benzo medication, it is time to. I really hope I could do the next step.
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post #144 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-30-2020, 11:39 AM
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I reduced my benzo medication, it is time to. I really hope I could do the next step.

Well done Lily, can be tough so I've heard, but sure you can do it!!

Tell 'em who the **** I am

SFC
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post #145 of 163 (permalink) Old 03-30-2020, 11:55 AM
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Well done Lily, can be tough so I've heard, but sure you can do it!!
Thank you D'avjo!
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post #146 of 163 (permalink) Old 06-18-2020, 12:58 PM
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Today I told my therapist about a deep seated problem I have. I wasnt planning on telling her as it's steeped in shame. I'm proud of myself for finally telling her.


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post #147 of 163 (permalink) Old 07-08-2020, 09:28 AM
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Got a haircut. Feels so good! I also called yesterday to make the appointment instead of doing it online

“You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
“They called me the hyacinth girl.”
—Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.
Oed’ und leer das Meer.
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post #148 of 163 (permalink) Old 07-08-2020, 10:27 AM
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Basic enough for most people but, being in a routine again. Even I end up doing fairly menial tasks throughout the day I still feel a sense of accomplishment and it redirects a lot of my usual depressive thoughts to something positive.

Maybe to clarify, it's cutting out things and adding things to my regular routine which consisted of staying up until the early mornings playing video games, waking up late afternoon and continuing that cycle. Also binge eating out of boredom.

Now that the weather is nice here, I find myself actually wanting to start the day early and get outside in my backyard or go for a bike ride and I just feel better in general. Slow steps towards working on myself is progress in any shape.

Well done, routine is good when depressed. Now just remember to shout **** you at your depressive thoughts when they tell you to mope around.

Tell 'em who the **** I am

SFC
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post #149 of 163 (permalink) Old 07-24-2020, 07:32 AM
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I still can't do college because of my social anxiety but I take online classes. I played shows as a guitarist in my 20s to force myself out of my comfort zone. Now I'm taking a step forward again by creating and maintaining a YouTube Channel. Please check it out if you have a YouTube account. Search "Lotusbag Floral Alexander Guitarwealth101 Channel Albuquerque" That should pull it up. Please subscribe, like, comment and share a link to my channel with all your friends. Working on this channel has given me a sense of purpose and aliveness. Thanks for reading.
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post #150 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-01-2020, 08:58 AM
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I haven't stalked a particular person (my LO's crush) in 3 months. This is huge progress for me. Before, I would go on their page and see that my LO would like their selfie and never mine, and it would make me feel like crap. But in a way I was weirdly addicted to that feeling as I would keep coming back to check. Anyway I haven't stalked them in 3 months. Its actually been hard as I have wanted to stalk but I will not. And it's tremendous progress.


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post #151 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-01-2020, 05:29 PM
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I volunteered to go to a meeting with the higher ups to get some exposure. I doubt it's going to go anywhere, and I'm sure I'll just humiliate myself, but I feel good about the fact that I'm trying.
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post #152 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 12:46 AM
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I don't think I have social anxiety anymore.

I still don't really have friends. I still struggle with depression. I still feel lonely at times. I still have my doubts, fears and worries but overall from where I was at 10 years ago, my social anxiety has really died down. I'm not even 100% sure what changed. I do know that staying in my job, interacting everyday with customers and my co workers has given me the push I needed. I still am quiet but I think its just my personality. I still get a little nervous meeting new people and am yet to find the courage to go to a meet up group. The days of sitting in the car, too afraid to get out and walk through the shops are gone though. The thoughts of worry about what other people will think of me are mostly behind me. I start conversations now. I don't feel that pit in my stomach when I talk to people. I go places by myself now. I speak up in group settings at work. I talk to complete strangers all the time.

I don't know whether it's me getting older. I don't know what happened.

The first step though was accepting I had it. From there I joked to people about having SA and was surprised when many people either laughed with me or told me they had it too. It could also be that having SA these days is more common. When you find out you aren't alone you feel more at ease. I put myself out there more. I forced myself to say hello to people. I forced myself to have conversations and not run away or hide. I told myself I was human and that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those moments where they say something stupid or do something embarrassing. It's been about 10 years to get to where I'm at. As I said, I still have my moments but overall the massive anxiety I used to have just is no longer there. The next step for me is finding friends. Going to meet up groups. I just gotta keep pushing and putting myself into uncomfortable environments.

So come rain on my parade
'Cause I want to feel it
Come shove me over the edge
'Cause my head is in overdrive
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post #153 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-05-2020, 06:24 AM
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I don't think I have social anxiety anymore.

I still don't really have friends. I still struggle with depression. I still feel lonely at times. I still have my doubts, fears and worries but overall from where I was at 10 years ago, my social anxiety has really died down. I'm not even 100% sure what changed. I do know that staying in my job, interacting everyday with customers and my co workers has given me the push I needed. I still am quiet but I think its just my personality. I still get a little nervous meeting new people and am yet to find the courage to go to a meet up group. The days of sitting in the car, too afraid to get out and walk through the shops are gone though. The thoughts of worry about what other people will think of me are mostly behind me. I start conversations now. I don't feel that pit in my stomach when I talk to people. I go places by myself now. I speak up in group settings at work. I talk to complete strangers all the time.

I don't know whether it's me getting older. I don't know what happened.

The first step though was accepting I had it. From there I joked to people about having SA and was surprised when many people either laughed with me or told me they had it too. It could also be that having SA these days is more common. When you find out you aren't alone you feel more at ease. I put myself out there more. I forced myself to say hello to people. I forced myself to have conversations and not run away or hide. I told myself I was human and that everyone makes mistakes, everyone has those moments where they say something stupid or do something embarrassing. It's been about 10 years to get to where I'm at. As I said, I still have my moments but overall the massive anxiety I used to have just is no longer there. The next step for me is finding friends. Going to meet up groups. I just gotta keep pushing and putting myself into uncomfortable environments.
That's really great to hear - I'm glad things have gotten better for you. My anxiety's change a lot over the years too - although it can still be very bad sometimes.

Hopefully you're up in Sydney too - and not down here in melbourne.
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post #154 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-09-2020, 04:21 PM
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@harrison Yes, I'm still up here unfortunately. Would rather be back home even with the lockdown. How are you coping with the curfew and all?

So come rain on my parade
'Cause I want to feel it
Come shove me over the edge
'Cause my head is in overdrive
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post #155 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-09-2020, 04:30 PM
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@harrison Yes, I'm still up here unfortunately. Would rather be back home even with the lockdown. How are you coping with the curfew and all?
I'm not coping with it very well at all tbh - it's driving me insane. Needs to be done though - I think they should have done it probably a while ago.

I was talking to a guy I know yesterday and up until the full lockdown started he was still driving around looking for books and doing basically everything he normally does in life.

Only now that he's being made to is he restricting his movements. I'd say most people are like that - a lot of them need to be forced to comply. Sounds a bit rough but in this circumstance I think it's true.

I used to joke that I wish I'd got out of Melbourne and up to Sydney or maybe Qld - but I don't really mean it. I'd feel like I abandoned my wife and son and I'd be worried about them. We'll ride it out down here, it'll be okay.
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post #156 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-20-2020, 07:01 PM
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I went to the doctor's today. I hate going and hate talking about my issues with depression, but I did. New script for Wellbutrin, and the advice to eat healthy, exercise, and go to counseling. I did recently re-start counseling as well. So hopefully positive steps.



I found it interesting my primary did mention try reaching out to socialize on a video call, and while doing so said basically 'I don't particularly like initiating calls and visits, I get nervous or fear rejection, silly I know, but its good to reach out.' I wonder if she was just picking up on me or does she really?
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post #157 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-21-2020, 09:27 PM
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Posting in different forums here and even though I worry what people will think...I still do it anyways! I've been working on my confidence and I think this will help.
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post #158 of 163 (permalink) Old 08-30-2020, 03:27 PM
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Drove to church by myself today and pumped my own gas for the first time, never thought I'd be at this point in my life.

~ How can I build Your kingdom if I'm building my own
How can You be my treasure if I'm digging for gold
How can You be my fire if my heart has grown cold
How can You be my future if I've made this my home ~ Love & the Outcome
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post #159 of 163 (permalink) Old 09-26-2020, 08:06 AM
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My journey took me a decade, but i'm still not done as i can still do better. But I can say i have overcome social anxiety where it no longer affects my life.

- I'm graduating college next year, i finally was able to sit through a crowded classroom

- my thought pattern has changed, i've become more positive and changed my outlook on life. i have more hope in life (thank you CBT)

- i have more self worth and established boundaries, i'm in a healthy relationship where i can communicate my needs

- i've learned to open up and show my personality more to others, took my 2 years with therapy

- medication has helped control my moods and help my get up in the monring to start the day

- i workout and am a constant improver now

my next steps is to make friends and start my career next year. i'm excited and i know i'll fail but hell, i've failed before and im still here
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post #160 of 163 (permalink) Old 11-13-2020, 05:25 AM
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I'm messaging with three people I met in the clinic. We're already planning a get together for next week.

Not everything is bad. Silver linings and whatnot.

Flowers will grow from these wounds.
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