My Story: From a Loser to a Winner... and still learning
I'm new here but I want to tell you about my transformation story.
I was chillin on the web/ facebook and decided to look at how my life has changed in the past years and how I want to still change in the coming years.
I am currently in my 3rd year of college and have had social anxiety for most of my life starting around 7/8th grade. I was the typical "Loser". No, not a nerd, or a geek, just a plain loser. I had no friends and my best friend, I was his only friend. We would be on the internet playing mmorpg's and what not all day until we would sleep at 3am in the morning only to repeat the process. I had pretty bad grades in school because I thought "cool" kids didn't do there homework. That phase of my life didn't help me at all because that took me away from all the "nerds" and I couldn't even be friends with them. I had no one to go to if I needed to talk, one, maybe two friends that had little to no interest in my life. yea, I was down there to my lowest. I didnt shower for days... so talkin about brushing my teeth... waste of time. Something that helped me cope with my life was playing basketball. I shot hoops for 5 -8 hours on end in the summer because I had nothing to do but be at home and go on the internet. I was too shy to play with other people, but it got me into another world and that was what maybe saved me from crying every night alone to ssleep. A pretty cute girl liked me for 2 years in one of my classes... and yep you guess it... I think I said hi to her once...anddddd it wasnt really smooth. haha
I needed to make a change. Around 11th grade, I noticed how people acted and interacted with other people and asked myself why they were having sso much more fun doing it. I got online and began reading away at how to improve yourself with women.. blah blah blah. And I read and read and finished a whole lot of it. I outlined step by step in my mind how a regular conversation would start with a girl. But then it got to me.... I had no balls to even say hi to a girl and im thinkin about askin a girl out...
then I finally broke free of my shell and started talking more and answering more questions in class. I didnt talk to my peers, I talked to my teacher, with peers listening. That was my first step. then I gradually started to introducing myself to girls.
Here was my first go to line that led me on the right path for anyone whos interested.
Me - "Hey, what's your name?"
Her - " my name is _____"
Me - "Oh cool, my name is _____"
In high school, that worked a lot better than staring into space and sitting alone while everyone is talking to everyone else.
I didn't introduce myself to the popular ones. I found girls that were in the SAME BOAT as me. Alone and shy afraid to talk to people. I knew they felt JUST AS AWKWARD as me.
And here is how I got myself to do it.
"I Don't give a crap"
After I started giving my name to people, I then asked about schoolwork and made comments. yea, I felt weird at first, but as time went on, I was more comfortable.
It was senior year.... I was still the "loser", but hey, I made improvements, right? Right
It was around this time I said hi to my First, and only, girlfriend I have ever had. We met through a youth group so she didnt even live in my town.
Senior year means ... dreaded... prom night.
I was deciding with my nerd friends wether I should make a stupid appearance or play runescape the whole night while eating a lot of food..
My mind was set to play runescape.
At this time, I had already gotten past social anxiety a LITTLE bit, but I wa still EXTREMELY akward around girls. Somehow I managed to pull off going to two proms....
One with another so called "loser" at my school
and the other... with my ex girlfriend
This was about the time I first learned how to "grind" with a girl.
It felt extremely goood, wreckon ya'll try it sometime.
She wanted to make out in the car... I declined because I wasnt ready and have never kissed a girl in my life before.
She was also my first kiss.... Extremely awkward... didn't know what I was doing.... not that magical... yeah
blah blah blah time to go to college... and I dump this girl because I started to hate the distance.
Now, here is the part where everyone that hasnt gone through this part should listen carefully..... COLLEGE
It's where you have your whole new identity.
A place where you can be whoever you want to be.
You all start off fresh and here the kicker...
"You're all on the same boat"
You're NOT a loser, shes NOT popular. Same level playing ground for about a week or two and THIS is the time where change is crucial. Remember all the days where you coldnt talk to a girl? Say hi? Make popular friends?
This my friends, is here it all starts, and it's where it started for me.
Here is what I began doing a month or week before I went into my dorm my first time as a freshman:
1. Showers everyday. Check
2. Teeth. Check
3. Deoderant. Check
4. I'm not a loser mentality. Check
5. Clothes that don't make me stick out. Check
6. My past life experiences thrown out of my mind.? Check
I said hi to people I didn't know and became close to my roomates. they werent of the popular variety, but hey, they are still friends to make.
I was still extremely awkward around girls.....
I didn't go to my first party untiil Second semester because I was scared of .. the whole scene and everything
Asked my first girl out in college.. she declined.. because I was too desperate...
then second year of college changed my life.
I joined a fraternity. Don't know what it is? Look it up
I pledged with a whole lot of popular guys. I learned from them. They taught me most of what I needed to learn and made sure I implmented it.
And the rest is history.....
Now I attract a lot of girls, but I want to pass this imformation down to you guys... because I've been there , done that.. and thought that I would never have been successful as I am today
1. Always have confidence
- If you don't make it akward, she won't feel akward
- If you do, she will feel extremely awkard
2. Girls have a second sense
- they know off the bat if you are
and a lot of other things
- First impressions make it or break it
3. Always, Always greet every girl you get aquainted to with a hug.
- I can not stress this enough... this was one thing that changed everything
- Remember the first rule? Yea implement it
- Girls LOVE hugs
- After you get a little more comfortable you can do all sorts of playful things to them
4. Have a.... "I don't give a crap what you think" attitude
- If you always think about what other people think, it will get to you
- If you want to dance, dance
5. At a party....
Once you have successfully implemented everything above, you will probably have learned more than what other people can tell you.
- "Just do it"
I can not tell you how easy it is to just go up to a girl, put both hands on their hips and start dancing... from behind her of course.
You get rejected once, again and again, but if you don't give up, you will get more girls to dance with you than those who just stand there.
I've averaged hooking up at least one girl every 3 parties.
I have more real friends than I can count
I am not a tool... I don't get used
I'm not a jerk or an *******.... just really flirty
I'm sorry if you read this whole post and thought it was useless,
But i spent quite some time typgin this up too
I hope to all of you that you will be more successful than me in the future. I wish you guys good luck
If I can do it,
ANYONE can do it....
***** I also had a mental illness in high school *****
Update 7/28: I've changed so much more from before when I first wrote this post in a better way, Ill spill the beans later.
Last edited by pudz; 05-14-2011 at 09:54 PM.