Hey Franklin, I've read a lot of your posts. I'm really impressed with all of the work you put in. You really remind me of myself when I was struggling with social anxiety. The effort you put in is really impressive. I had a lot of social anxiety throughout most of my childhood, but starting when I was 15, I really wanted to be able to make more friends, become more persuasive, and in general, get happy. So I read the bible, I think, for getting rid of social anxiety, which is Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Seriously read it, it honestly changed my life. It's a really good starting point.
Now, what I've found is the most important thing for getting to know people is being interested in them. Like, genuinely interested in them. It was hard for me at the beginning because I wanted the person I was talking to to like me. But as a rule, people will like you if you like them. And even if they don't, which happens, it's no big deal, you just figure that person and you aren't compatible, and you move on.
Now, if you have social anxiety, I'd say that you should first focus on building friendships with people before romantic relationships. Of course, it depends on how bad your SA is, but friendships are a necessity, both for your self-esteem and for teaching you about relationships. Relationships with a girl, in my mind, are just super-close friendships with sexual attraction thrown in. Friendship teaches you the fundamentals.
Now, because your focus is on dating and sex, I'm gonna give you some advice on what I've found and works for me.
I think that going and talking to random women is a great idea for overcoming SA. I used to do it. I did get a few numbers, and a few dates, but most of the girls in your life you'll meet at parties or through friends or through organizations and clubs. Try and join some of those if you haven't already. Drama is really good for meeting girls, join a community theater. It also helps social anxiety, takes you out of yourself. This is just one idea, whatever works for you.
First of all, the whole "pickup artist" thing is not very helpful for someone with SA in my mind. It may get you laid occasionally, but more because it's a number game than it's such a great system. Its focus in general is superficial and misogynistic, two things no girl you want to date finds attractive. I know a guy who I used to be friends with in high school that turned out like that, and let me tell you, he has never had a successful relationship, and all his friends and any group he's a part of think of him as a scumbag.
A lot of the appeal of the hook up artist comes from the idea that "nice guys finish last". Everyone's been there- you are so nice to a girl, but then you get friend zoned for some *******. It does have some truth to it, but it needs some serious amending. First of all, girls are not some monolithic block. Girls are very divergent on what they find as attractive in a guy's personality. I've known a lot of girls that love *******s, partly for the drama, and partly because they're jerks themselves. Any girl like that, you don't even want. Second of all, out of the girls that you do want for a relationship, you want to be confident, happy to be around her, and make her feel special by taking an extreme interest in her. At this point, you just have to hope she takes an interest in you. This is the key point. A relationship has to be reciprocal. If you find yourself super involved in her life, but she never talks about yours or takes any interest in you, then make a polite exit, and move onto someone else. The best relationship you'll ever have is when she makes you can't get enough of her, and she can't get enough of you. I've had it, and believe me, it was the best thing in the world.
Anyways, good luck man! Keep up the good work!