Hi my name is Vinicio, Vinny for short. I just recently signed with this website. I am sad that there is other people like me going through the same things, but am I am glad I am not alone. I dont really know how to start, it was only yesterday that I told my family my problem. It was only yesterday that I came from work all depressed and angry at myself for being the way I am that It finally hit me. I need to get help. I've seen comercials like many of you guys on tv, and thought I check it out. It was hard for me to do this because I've been avoiding it for years. I never wanted to think that I had this sort of problem, Social Anxiety they call it. I went on line and looked up depression hoping it would lead to my biggest problem, SAD. Now, to be honest I have not been diagnosed with it yet, but I am sure that is what I will be hearing on Monday when I go to my doctor's appointment. Its really hard for me to talk to other people about my problems, and this one tops them all. My best friends in the world are my brother, and loving sister. They are the first ones I talked to about this. It was hard for me to get it out since I've held it a secret for about some years now. It all started when I came to the US, It was a different world for me. Ecuador is my home Country and I left my mother at the age of ten to be with my father and new stepmother after my parents divorced. I was sad, but I had my brother and sister always. Here in the United States I had a lot of trouble making friends, It was so bad that I used to set outside on a side walk by my self and act like I was Okay, while all the kids around me had the time of their lives. I never fitted in. Even back at my old country I only had about two close friends but that was it . Now back in fifth grade when I had first come to the US I didn't show many signs of this Anxiety. I was a little kid and was still growing up, but I did go through a lot depression, my mother being away, and all. All my life I've felt fear, this is something that I believe, ties in with allot of the symptom people with SAD go through. My childhood was not a happy one, and neither were my adolescent years. Having to cope with my new stepmother day after day made me angry, and made me feel depressed since she does not understand kids very well. My mother was always very close to me and having lost her for a long time made me sad, and depressed. I never really think I got over that, although I woould like to think so, since I am now 18 and 8 years have gone by. Now it has worsened, the depression I used to feel worsened and I began noticing other simptoms. This happened while I going going through pubirty. I began feeling very uncomfortable around people, specially people I did not know. I thought that it was because I was shy at the time, but being shy does not stay with you day and night. I would try so hard to fit in but it would make it worst. I began apparting my self from everybody whenever I got the chance. I stoped making friends, and the ones I had I began to loose because I acted strange around them. My heart would pound, my ears would get red for no reason, and deep down I felt so nervous and helpless that I could not do anything about it. Two major symptoms that told me that there was something wrong with me was that I could not look people in the eye while I was talking to them, and another was I got uneasy, nervous, and began sweating. As of today I've lost many close friends. I know I can not go on living like this, try as I might I need help. Keeping it all bottled inside was the wrong thing to do, and I realize it now that I've worsened. If anybody out there reads this I would be glad to recieve their comments, and even maybe some helpful advice on how to keep my anxiety down. I appreciate it, I hope this topic wasn't too long. Thank you for reading.