My Anxiety - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 01:18 PM Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
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My Anxiety


Hi my name is Vinicio, Vinny for short. I just recently signed with this website. I am sad that there is other people like me going through the same things, but am I am glad I am not alone. I dont really know how to start, it was only yesterday that I told my family my problem. It was only yesterday that I came from work all depressed and angry at myself for being the way I am that It finally hit me. I need to get help. I've seen comercials like many of you guys on tv, and thought I check it out. It was hard for me to do this because I've been avoiding it for years. I never wanted to think that I had this sort of problem, Social Anxiety they call it. I went on line and looked up depression hoping it would lead to my biggest problem, SAD. Now, to be honest I have not been diagnosed with it yet, but I am sure that is what I will be hearing on Monday when I go to my doctor's appointment. Its really hard for me to talk to other people about my problems, and this one tops them all. My best friends in the world are my brother, and loving sister. They are the first ones I talked to about this. It was hard for me to get it out since I've held it a secret for about some years now. It all started when I came to the US, It was a different world for me. Ecuador is my home Country and I left my mother at the age of ten to be with my father and new stepmother after my parents divorced. I was sad, but I had my brother and sister always. Here in the United States I had a lot of trouble making friends, It was so bad that I used to set outside on a side walk by my self and act like I was Okay, while all the kids around me had the time of their lives. I never fitted in. Even back at my old country I only had about two close friends but that was it . Now back in fifth grade when I had first come to the US I didn't show many signs of this Anxiety. I was a little kid and was still growing up, but I did go through a lot depression, my mother being away, and all. All my life I've felt fear, this is something that I believe, ties in with allot of the symptom people with SAD go through. My childhood was not a happy one, and neither were my adolescent years. Having to cope with my new stepmother day after day made me angry, and made me feel depressed since she does not understand kids very well. My mother was always very close to me and having lost her for a long time made me sad, and depressed. I never really think I got over that, although I woould like to think so, since I am now 18 and 8 years have gone by. Now it has worsened, the depression I used to feel worsened and I began noticing other simptoms. This happened while I going going through pubirty. I began feeling very uncomfortable around people, specially people I did not know. I thought that it was because I was shy at the time, but being shy does not stay with you day and night. I would try so hard to fit in but it would make it worst. I began apparting my self from everybody whenever I got the chance. I stoped making friends, and the ones I had I began to loose because I acted strange around them. My heart would pound, my ears would get red for no reason, and deep down I felt so nervous and helpless that I could not do anything about it. Two major symptoms that told me that there was something wrong with me was that I could not look people in the eye while I was talking to them, and another was I got uneasy, nervous, and began sweating. As of today I've lost many close friends. I know I can not go on living like this, try as I might I need help. Keeping it all bottled inside was the wrong thing to do, and I realize it now that I've worsened. If anybody out there reads this I would be glad to recieve their comments, and even maybe some helpful advice on how to keep my anxiety down. I appreciate it, I hope this topic wasn't too long. Thank you for reading.
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post #2 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-02-2005, 01:34 PM
 
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I've always been shy myself and it turned into anxiety when I was a teenager. I've always just had a few friends and I hate meeting new people and I start to panic. I hate it, I really want to beat this...
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post #3 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-05-2005, 08:38 PM
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VinicioBarba,

!Bienvenido al group para ansiedad social! Espero que encontrarte ayuda de los otro miembres aqui.

I want to let you know that it may seem hard, but it will get better. From reading your post, you seem like truly honest and caring person. I invite you to read some of our posts to see if there is anything you can get from them; at lthe same time, you can get a doctor to help with any medication if necessary.

Again, welcome!

millenniumman75
You are a success story waiting to happen!
Live and let live VACUUMS more than a Hoover....
Live and HELP live is better!

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post #4 of 4 (permalink) Old 06-28-2005, 10:32 PM
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Hi Vinicio,
I enjoyed reading your post, and I can really relate to what you're going through. I think it's great that you realized already what you have because now you can start doing things to improve. I didn't realize there was a name for what I have until I was in my early twenties...though, I was still happy to realize I wasn't just some freak.

I think you've made a great first step and I'm sure things will get better for you. I still have a really hard time meeting people for the first time and talking with groups. However, since I realized I have SA, I've had an easier time making friends, and talking one on one with people. It's been a fairly slow process, but I did go through some therapy. I think cognitive therapy and learning how to counter negative thoughts can really help alot. Also, being able to talk abit about what you are going through can be great. If you could find a SA group in your area, that may also help. Best of luck!

Sometimes I wish I were someone else, but then why not just try to be the person I want to be?

Crazy girl
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