Short story - Kissed a girl I like for the first time in four and a half years. For a bit I was really worried that it would just die right after that, that everything would go wrong, but after sending her a message post awkwardness, it seemed she was as eager and happy in liking each other.
Long story - I'm posting it for my sake, if you want to read, go ahead, but it's just "venting" happiness
Several weeks ago I posted about being interested in four girls, girl 1 I still really like as a friend but I realized that nothing would ever happen between us, girl 3 nothing every happened at all lol, girl 4 was the first girl I asked out on a date in two years, I thought it went well but she didn't seem interested (I was still very happy I worked up the nerve to do it though lol).
That left girl 2, which I liked more and more every time we hung out. Sure, I had my heart set on girl 1, but I realized that I don't get along with anyone as well as girl 2, not even close. We could do nothing for hours and have fun just being together. So my master plan was to get a kiss out of her on New Years but to my horror, even though the night before we had talked about getting together, she was trying to blow me off because she had been out with another guy the night before and one of the parties she was going to that night would be his. I can't even describe the feeling I had when she said that, I did my best to hide it but I got a lot more quiet. Eventually, being able to tell I was upset, she gave in.
At the first party I talked to her for a bit, but I didn't want to seem like I couldn't socialize so I mingled with others. Despite not being drunk, I think I did fairly well, and I didn't get horribly nervous, or that awful feeling of self consciousness I used to be plagued by (yay social anxiety progress). Still though, I see her sit down on this table, and one of the hosts sits down next to her, they're touching each other, she's smiling, she touches his leg, they get closer, FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! I had to think quick, but what the hell could I do? I escaped to the bathroom to think, and realized the end of the night would have be feeling like crap, failing, another crappy new years... Come New years I didn't kiss her (boo!) but neither did he. Nobody kissed, some Indian pulled off his pants, and another dude followed, but nobody kissed.
We had to repark my car at her place and drop off her roommate, so we went to her place before we would hit the next party. While there I drink some shots and she laughs at me for coughing like a teenage girl, and goes upstairs for some reason. While waiting I look over her movie collection and I see it, my shot, 10 things I hate about you. She had wanted to watch it with me earlier and we never did it, and my little machinations would have us sitting in, together, alone, watching this romantic comedy. I bring it up, she's for it (wahoo!) and even better, we have to watch it on her laptop so that means we'll be close together (WAHOO!). ****, the computer won't play it, and the only DVD player is in the roommates room. She remembers that she's got a DVD player stored, but no cables, but I figure out how to jury rig camcorder cables to get it to work.
We watch the movie, I move closer, she moves closer, I get my arm around her, she moves in more. All great, but I watch for an opportunity to make a move, and none presents itself. Movie ends, she has me help her fold out the couch, and I can't handle it anymore, "so I'm really not even going to get a kiss?" I ask in a joking tone, but completely serious. She was honest with me, I was too young, and she knew I couldn't give her kids in the time frame she wanted. I respect that, and I tell her I do, but I tell her it's bull****, and we're good together, and after some sincere talk, where she admitted she did really like me, I finally got it. First real romantic kiss in so long. Jesus, four and a half years lol. Granted, at this point my SA roured in, but not nearly as bad as it once would have. Neither of us had any intention of sleeping with each other, both of us wanting to know we'd be together before something like that, so we went to sleep.
The next morning we were both off from a lack of sleep, we were both a bit awkward, and I felt I had left on an awkward note which terrified me. I also made a few gaffes the previous night, but I sent her a long funny message on facebook, and she called as soon as she saw it. We giggled over the phone for a long time, which really relieved me, I could tell she still liked me, and maybe felt the same relief I felt lol.
I came home tonight and she had sent me an even longer message, and though it didn't outright say "I want you," it was pretty clear. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!