||06-25-2019 06:55 PM
Made out with a girl for the first time
I think it's funny that this happened so soon after I just posted about thinking I was never going to have my first kiss but it happened. Ok Im gonna include a lot of info because I'm excited but this is what happened. I was hanging out with one of my friends (who happens to be a girl) and towards the end of the night she dropped me off at my house because I don't have a car. We had been literally talking for probably 4 hours and it was about 11 P.M. and as I was leaving because she said to go home she got out of her car and asked for a hug. She's moving to Sacramento in a couple of days so this might have been the last time we see eachother. After we hugged she was getting really nervous and she finally said that she still had feelings for me (we kinda had a wrong time thing in the past) and I said that I did too. The reason I never wanted to pursue it was because she's like a "popular girl" or whatever and she's had boyfriends before and I thought that I might turn her off if we ever got romantic because I have no idea what I'm doing. But anyway after that she said that everytime she dropped me off she wanted to kiss me and I said that I did too and I straight up said that I didn't want to leave a bad impression of me before she leaves (IK I'm an idiot that's not attractive to be not confident), but after that we had like this connection and we both just leaned in and kissed. The first one was kinda awkward and even said sorry (like an idiot) but she said it was fine and then we basically started making out. Eventually a car drove by the road and freaked us out (I had been like telling her scary stories or whatever cuz it was dark) and she said she finally had to go for real this time. She leaves in a couple days and I'm kinda mad cuz we definitely could have been dating for a while now, I was just too scared to do anything. But It feels good because months of like romantic tension are over and at least we had this one time. Also no flex but she texted me and was surprised that it was my first kiss because she said I was actually really good. My confidence levels have never been this high. But It was crazy because after she left I was basically having a panic attack even though I felt calm? I was shaking a ton but like mentally I was ok, I think it's just like how my anxiety is still there but I'm learning to override it or something. I hope. Sorry for the long post it could have been condensed but yeah I'm really hyper right now.