It's been just over a year since I starded this thread, so I thought I would update.
Since late april, I'm technically not unemployed anymore. It's not a real job, but at least I have something to do during the days, and an excuse to get out of my apartment and meet people. I even get some money for it. But it's not enough to support myself, and it's only temporary anyway, so I'll have to move on to something else soon.
It has been very positive for my social development though. When I started there, I was very quiet and awkward. But after a while, I started to relax and open up more. I can now say that, allthough I'm still a bit shy, I participate as much in the socializing and friendly bantering as anyone else. My confidence in my social ablities has improved a lot. I've even been praised by the manager for my transformation.
But while my shyness issues have subsided significantly, I'm still struggling with depression and a more generalized type of anxiety. The depression sucks all joy out of life and makes it difficult to really enjoy stuff, and the anxiety sneaks into every aspect of life and makes me obsess about every f***ing thing that can go wrong. So basically, I rarely enjoy things nowadays, and I never seem to be able to relax.
On the positive side though, I'm at least functioning. I can pretend that I'm ok for most of the day. I'm able to fix the problems that come up, even though they shake me up really badly and I really just want to run and hide. I had to make an important phonecall this morning, for a money related issue. I realized that last night, and it ruined most of my evening and a great deal of my sleep. But at least I made the call and fixed the issue. I hate making phonecalls, but I can do them if I really have to.
In januari I have an appointment with a psychiatrist. It's my first time seeing a psychiatrist and I really hope something good will come out of that. So I guess compared to last year, although things are still shaky, I've taken a few steps forward.
Merry Christmas to anyone who's reading!