I think it's dying... - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 09:02 AM Thread Starter
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I think it's dying...

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post #2 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 09:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Hallucinating Zebra View Post
Well, I don't really post here often, and when I do I don't really discuss my anxiety issues.

Long story short; I went downhill when my friends stopped talking to me, the last friend (also my neighbor, har) stopped contacting me at some point in 2005. I sort of stopped talking to people after that. I managed to deal with it through high school for a while, but college happened. I don't quite know how college turned into such a disaster but it did, it went to hell fast.

Well, the course was only a year long, and I really suffered through that, I found it literally near impossible to talk to anyone, discuss anything with anyone. And on top of that, there were identity issues that didn't exactly help.

Back to the relevant part, I've since (Summer 2010) spent my time doing nothing, literally nothing. No job, no social life, no reason to leave the house so I've not really left the house.

I guess this was the life style I wanted, and needed.

Maybe it worked? Over the past couple of months, I've felt the urge to get out and actually socialize and talk with people... the only issue is; How? Where do you even start? It's left me in a position where I'm desperate to have friends and a social life, but I've grown too use to my current hated lifestyle. The whole situation seems to contradict itself.

So, it seems that my past anxiety has left me, but it's left me in a hole I can't climb out of, a hole that I want to climb out of but can't be bothered trying. Life has a sick sense of humor.
I know this is easier said than done, but I believe you need to move to another part of the country and make new friends.
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post #3 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Hallucinating Zebra View Post
So, it seems that my past anxiety has left me, but it's left me in a hole I can't climb out of, a hole that I want to climb out of but can't be bothered trying. Life has a sick sense of humor.
Don't try to climb the mountain in one day. Not even the best can do that. And for someone in your situation (I'm there too btw, no job, minimal social life), we've got nowhere to go but up, if that's the perspective we have on our lives moving forward.

So I'd recommend to focus on what you can be grateful for (your youth, health, whatever it may be) and make specific and relatively small goals for the rest (daily plans for finding work/school; socializing; or trying a new activity for example). Build up slowly and you'll make progress; fret about how big the hole is, and you'll never even bother making a first step, which is really all we need to do. Keep us posted, and understand that it'll feel better to actually climb the mountain yourself than be magically swooped up and somehow planted on top.
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post #4 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 12:37 PM
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Is there any way you can move into a dorm situation, where you're living on a floor with 20-30 people, who hang out in a lounge? I found that really helped me. It's a good situation for people in college with SA who want to get better because you just go sit out in the TV room/lounge and there will be people around you know you, things to do. You don't have to worry about making friends out of strangers, etc. I didn't have to be "friends" with anyone as much as "acquaintances" which was a good stepping stone
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post #5 of 5 (permalink) Old 08-28-2012, 02:32 PM
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Take small steps. Start off by going on runs, then progress to going to the gym. Volunteer somewhere; you'll get to help other people, you'll build your social skills, and it'll make it easier to get a job. Once you've volunteered somewhere long enough, get a job so that you'll have an income. Start off by taking a course at your community college, then eventually go back to university.

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