I hit an important milestone today! (plus a thank you)
Hello fellow forum members,
As some of you might be aware, since I've talked about it on the forum before, I've been putting a decent amount of work lately into improving my SAD. One of the ways in which my social anxiety disorder manifests itself is a fear of commitment. Not like "straight guys afraid of getting married" fear of commitment. But the fear of returning to and continuing to interact with a person / group of people after I inevitably failed to live up to the impossible social expectations I set for myself. My usual excuse of, "Well, it doesn't matter if I say something stupid in front of these people because I'll never see them again anyway" doesn't work in those situations, because I *am* going to see them again, and I have to live with the so-called "consequences" of whatever it was I said or did the first time.
This is something I've been trying to work on. And, considering we're being ravaged by a pandemic and I shouldn't be interacting with strangers face-to-face at the moment, that leaves me with the internet. Do you see where I'm going with this?
Every day for the past 60 days (roughly), I have come to this forum and made three posts. Even on the days when I didn't want to. Even on the days where I thought I said something stupid the day before and wanted to do the ol' cut-and-run. Even when I was unsure whether or not I belonged here. Every day, for 60 days, three posts.
And you know what? I came to love this forum. I really did. Talking to other people who go through the same struggles I do has been invaluable. And it's helped me realize that, even on the days when I feel like all my hard work is for nothing, at least I did something, and that really is better than nothing.
My 60 days is up, and that means it's time for me to turn my attention to bigger and better challenges. I'll still be around, of course. Just probably not as much as I have been over the past couple months. I just wanted to take the time to share this little triumph with you all, and to thank you for helping to make this forum what it is.