Humiliating Yourself everyday challenge - Social Anxiety Forum
Reply
 
Thread Tools
post #1 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 09:41 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 3

Humiliating Yourself everyday challenge


I am going to start humiliating myself in front of groups of people to get rid of my social anxiety.
Activities such as:
- laying down on a sidewalk while others pass me
- Stretching my hands up to the air while passing other people
- Doing a little dance in front of people
- Barking by saying "WOOOF" while walking past people
- doing the Naruto run while running past people or running to the other side of the street

I tried doing it today but it was HAAAARRRRDD. I was only able to stretch my hands to the air while passing ONE person but felt so ****ing good after I did it. Doing these things everyday WILL GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL ANXIETY! So I challenge you
Pete55 is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
post #2 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 10:03 AM
The Groat King
 
funnynihilist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 15,701
Doing some of that **** will get you on social media for the rest of your life :/
funnynihilist is online now  
post #3 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 10:06 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 3
Quote:
Originally Posted by funnynihilist View Post
Doing some of that **** will get you on social media for the rest of your life :/
Becoming viral is rare bud :/, plus you have the choice, would you rather be in someone's snapchat story for a day then have everyone forget you exist when they move onto the next story or would you rather live a long life in fear killing every single chance in your life. I've made up my choice man , can't take this **** no more.
Pete55 is offline  
 
post #4 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 10:10 AM
The Groat King
 
funnynihilist's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 15,701
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete55 View Post
Becoming viral is rare bud :/, plus you have the choice, would you rather be in someone's snapchat story for a day then have everyone forget you exist when they move onto the next story or would you rather live a long life in fear killing every single chance in your life. I've made up my choice man , can't take this **** no more.
I hope it works for you, just be careful
funnynihilist is online now  
post #5 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 10:19 AM Thread Starter
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 3
Thanks man
Pete55 is offline  
post #6 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 10:30 AM
Tired
 
SplendidBob's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2014
Location: UK
Language: English
Gender: Male
Posts: 11,249
Yeh, social mishap therapy. Eh, its like hardcore exposure therapy.

I think with this stuff its fine, and it probably helps, but you need to be able to convert it into life stuff at some point, I think starting with exposure therapy and building up to the things you want to achieve in life makes more sense, because "curing" SA is almost a dangerous mindset (cos it likely wont happen and there needs to be acceptance of that at some point).
SplendidBob is offline  
post #7 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 10:46 AM
experimental sincerity
 
rabidfoxes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2016
Posts: 858
I like dragging limbs, sniffing air and growling at people in supermarkets. You know, playing a crowd scene in the Walking Dead.

A friend of mine (now deceased) used to do that thing from a movie where he would stick his head out the window and shout: "I am mad as hell and I'm not gonna take this anymore!". I liked that too.

I like your ideas, but be careful about barking at people as you pass them - some people do that thing where they make a sudden noise/shout when passing people to intimidate and have a laugh out of it. It's not cool and you could get punched. Bark at a distance!


Edit to add: I wouldn't call it humiliating yourself. I think of it as fun and horsing around!

Leonard Cohen (Bird on a Wire): I have tried in my own way to be free
Mrs Hudson (BBC Sherlock): Sherlock! The mess you've made!
rabidfoxes is offline  
post #8 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 11:00 AM
Malevolent Dictator
 
truant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Cislandia
Gender: Transgender
Age: 47
Posts: 8,625
My Mood: Brooding
Tbh I think this is just another form of avoidance. You do these crazy things to humiliate yourself because it would be more painful for you to be a real person interacting with real people in a real way. You do this instead of doing what you fear.

"I'll do this crazy thing and when nobody reacts I'll realize that it's fine to just be myself." Except this crazy thing that you're doing is not an authentic expression of yourself. It's just the mirror image of your anxiety. Your real self is still safely tucked away behind your crazy antics. And you know that, which is why you can get yourself to do these crazy things but you can't get yourself to do something normal, like smile and say hello to a stranger. You can always think: "Well, who cares if they had a bad reaction? That's not the real me anyway. That's was just me humiliating myself, so their opinion doesn't really matter." But it does still matter, otherwise you would stop doing crazy things and just be real.

Being a real person is much much harder than humiliating yourself in public. Maybe this kind of thing helps some people, but I suspect you could spend the rest of your life acting like a maniac and never overcome your fear of the opinions of others. Acting strange isn't loving yourself, it's concealing yourself and protecting it from harm.

I think the real solution is to love yourself no matter what. Every time you screw up, every time you fail, every time you embarrass yourself, every time someone gives you a dirty look, every time someone rejects you, tell yourself it's okay. It's okay to be a person who screws up, fails, does embarrassing things, isn't liked, and gets rejected. You don't have to be perfect. No one has to be perfect. Isn't that the goal of all this public humiliation? To convince yourself that it's okay to screw up? So why not skip the antics and just start giving yourself that permission?

If you're doing this to prove that other people aren't going to freak out just because you're acting like a weirdo, you're still making it all about other people's opinions. You're still making it all about the other person's tolerance and acceptance. And it seems to me that that's the whole problem. The problem is that you have no tolerance or acceptance for yourself. You make your self-worth, your freedom to be yourself, depend on other people's opinion. When other people give you permission by not reacting, then you give yourself permission. You still need reassurance from other people that it's okay to be you. And I don't think this kind of exposure therapy is necessarily going to give you that. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

What you have to learn is that no one else can give you that reassurance. It has to come from yourself. You have to forgive yourself for being who you are. And when you do that, you can start getting better.

Are you sure you want to permanently delete this culture? [Yes] [No]
truant is offline  
post #9 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 12:01 PM
watching stars collide
 
scooby's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: cya
Posts: 6,120
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete55 View Post
Doing these things everyday WILL GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL ANXIETY! So I challenge you
It's more likely to fasttrack the likelihood of me offing myself, so I'll have to pass for rationality's sake.
scooby is offline  
post #10 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 12:46 PM
SAS's Chief Meteorologist
 
Maslow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Denver
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,516
If making a fool of yourself gets rid of social anxiety, I should have been cured a long time ago!

I guess that if your fear comes from being a perfectionist, it could work. But I don't think that's the case with a lot of people with SAD. The problem is low self-esteem, and making a fool of yourself -- intentionally or not -- is not going to make you feel better about yourself. It may actually have the opposite effect.

What we need to feel is dignity -- not embarrassment.

Nobody loves me but my dog, and I think he might be jivin', too.
Maslow is offline  
post #11 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 01:19 PM
bipolar
 
harrison's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 12,520
Quote:
Originally Posted by Maslow View Post
If making a fool of yourself gets rid of social anxiety, I should have been cured a long time ago!

I guess that if your fear comes from being a perfectionist, it could work. But I don't think that's the case with a lot of people with SAD. The problem is low self-esteem, and making a fool of yourself -- intentionally or not -- is not going to make you feel better about yourself. It may actually have the opposite effect.

What we need to feel is dignity -- not embarrassment.
Nicely summed up - I was thinking much the same.
harrison is offline  
post #12 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 01:44 PM
SAS Member
 
Musicfan69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Pawnshop basement
Gender: Male
Posts: 730

Humiliating Yourself everyday challenge


My teens and 20s in a nutshell.
Musicfan69 is offline  
post #13 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 01:46 PM
Permanently tired
 
AffinityWing's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: barely livings ave.
Gender: Female
Age: 21
Posts: 1,743
My Mood: Dead
I used to think it may help with my SA, but now I think it would just make it worse. I've already been half-aware at times that other people really don't seem to notice or care about alot of strange/weird things happening around them or things that I've done, to the point I joked to my friend "I could walk in class naked and it seems nobody would care at this point." LOL

But I still realize that's a pretty glaringly odd kind of situation, so they definitely will. Maybe the odd things around me I have been noticing and wondering why they haven't been noticed by others have just been due to a reflection of my own SA. (Making myself be judgmental, ironically.)

I can only see that also having a negative effect on your social life. If you were the withdrawn, lonely person that kept to themselves, then you will just be the loud, really weird person that people think there is something seriously wrong with. Like @truant mentioned, how is either of that being yourself? If people do start flocking to you then, it will probably be only out of some shallow interest because you are on a viral Youtube video now, and they want to show themselves to their friends with you because "That's the weird guy who dances naked in public" or something. If you think becoming a clown for people makes you feel any less alienated in society, then do it by all means, but I think you will only get the tears of one. Others will eventually get bored of you and move on to the next entertaining thing. A sincere character leaves the most highly valued one. If you are throwing sincerity in that behavior, or showing people your true self behind that character (Like George Miller's Filthy Frank for example) you will get much more respect.



"So many resources keep me alive
Yet I don't even step outside
So many sacrifices keep me alive
Yet I don't even bother to survive."



"If you think we waste too much then you can sacrifice yourself
Don't push your values
Push your values
Onto the crowd."


Mili
AffinityWing is offline  
post #14 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 02:06 PM
SAS Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 13,241
posting my thoughts on here is humiliating.
tea111red is offline  
post #15 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 04:01 PM
You tell me
 
Rains's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 1,962
I think this is called shame attacking but i don't believe it works for actually daily functioning. You'll get better at lying down on pavements in public but you won't get better at doing job interviews, dating or just having conversations with people.
Rains is offline  
post #16 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 07:00 PM
BBW BBC taking MILF
 
3stacks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Birmingham, Uk
Language: Can complain in all languages
Gender: Male
Age: 24
Posts: 4,646
My Mood: Aggressive
I'm humiliated just being me

Count me out
3stacks is offline  
post #17 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 08:32 PM
🐞 Moderator 🐞
 
Silent Memory's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Gender: Female
Age: 27
Posts: 6,428
Quote:
Originally Posted by truant View Post
Tbh I think this is just another form of avoidance. You do these crazy things to humiliate yourself because it would be more painful for you to be a real person interacting with real people in a real way. You do this instead of doing what you fear.

"I'll do this crazy thing and when nobody reacts I'll realize that it's fine to just be myself." Except this crazy thing that you're doing is not an authentic expression of yourself. It's just the mirror image of your anxiety. Your real self is still safely tucked away behind your crazy antics. And you know that, which is why you can get yourself to do these crazy things but you can't get yourself to do something normal, like smile and say hello to a stranger. You can always think: "Well, who cares if they had a bad reaction? That's not the real me anyway. That's was just me humiliating myself, so their opinion doesn't really matter." But it does still matter, otherwise you would stop doing crazy things and just be real.

Being a real person is much much harder than humiliating yourself in public. Maybe this kind of thing helps some people, but I suspect you could spend the rest of your life acting like a maniac and never overcome your fear of the opinions of others. Acting strange isn't loving yourself, it's concealing yourself and protecting it from harm.

I think the real solution is to love yourself no matter what. Every time you screw up, every time you fail, every time you embarrass yourself, every time someone gives you a dirty look, every time someone rejects you, tell yourself it's okay. It's okay to be a person who screws up, fails, does embarrassing things, isn't liked, and gets rejected. You don't have to be perfect. No one has to be perfect. Isn't that the goal of all this public humiliation? To convince yourself that it's okay to screw up? So why not skip the antics and just start giving yourself that permission?

If you're doing this to prove that other people aren't going to freak out just because you're acting like a weirdo, you're still making it all about other people's opinions. You're still making it all about the other person's tolerance and acceptance. And it seems to me that that's the whole problem. The problem is that you have no tolerance or acceptance for yourself. You make your self-worth, your freedom to be yourself, depend on other people's opinion. When other people give you permission by not reacting, then you give yourself permission. You still need reassurance from other people that it's okay to be you. And I don't think this kind of exposure therapy is necessarily going to give you that. Maybe it will, maybe it won't.

What you have to learn is that no one else can give you that reassurance. It has to come from yourself. You have to forgive yourself for being who you are. And when you do that, you can start getting better.
I agree with this.

It sounds like a fun challenge, and it could be helpful, but you’ll be expecting people to look at you weirdly or react badly, and it won’t be a problem to you because it’s not the real you and you don’t usually behave like that. When you’re being yourself, you wouldn’t be expecting anyone to look at you weirdly or react badly, so it would hurt you more if they do. You need to work on being less anxious about how people will react to the real version of yourself, not the one where people think you’re drunk or are being the way you are on purpose.

This is a list I made and posted on here once of similar things you could do to what you’ve mentioned. I like thinking of ideas like this, but I would never do any of them:


Quote:
* Walk down a street with a bag of real or fake spiders, and start throwing them at everyone you see.

* Jump up and down in elevators.

* Dress as a bear and run through a street or anywhere that gets busy.

* Hide in empty change rooms so when someone goes to walk in, you can jump out, say “Rahhhh!” and scare them.

* Lay down somewhere in public and pretend to be dead.

* Clean an empty can of pet food, put human food in it and take it somewhere public to eat so it looks like you’re weird.

* Find a video of monster noises and play it very loudly at night, outside people’s houses. You could scratch on their windows with a bit of a tree to make it sound more realistic.

* Put a toy spider, snake or lizard in someone’s letterbox or on a car.

* Quietly walk up behind strangers and hug them, then run off.

* Go on a train, tram or bus and walk up and down as much as you can with a creepy laugh, staring at everyone you see and saying random things that don’t make sense. If someone is eating, ask if you can take a bite of their food.

* Climb up a pole somewhere in public so everyone can see you and start singing songs about hating people. Stay there for as long as you can, acting as weird as you can.

* Walk backwards everywhere you go for a day. If you talk to anyone, say your sentences backwards as well, and tell them you’ve seen a zombie. Look scared and point somewhere behind the person, then say you think you can see it again.

* Get a pair of stilts and a wolf or monster costume, then go somewhere in public while playing monster noises on your phone under your costume.

* Start pretending you’re a bird and flapping your arms, thinking you can fly. Run through parks while you do this, and make bird noises.

☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Silent Memory is online now  
post #18 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-01-2019, 11:55 PM
Flying Backwards
 
WillYouStopDave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: United States
Gender: Male
Age: 45
Posts: 27,384
My Mood: Relaxed
Humiliating myself isn't something I have to work very hard at.

------------

In case of emergency, my husk can be used as a flotation device.
WillYouStopDave is offline  
post #19 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-02-2019, 12:11 AM
 
 
roxslide's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: WA
Language: sarcasm
Posts: 2,918
sorry but that sounds really annoying to be around... good for you to challenge yourself but if I was walking by I'd probably give you the stink eye.

I think more reasonable challenges are probably where it's at. Like engaging with people you normally wouldn't engage with. For me, it might be go to a local meet up and try to make small talk with people there. Or go into a live chat room and talk for 30 minutes. Message someone that I've ghosted and try to reconnect.

obviously everyone is different though and has different sources of anxiety, so if breaking social norms is your greatest cause of anxiety then yeah, I guess go for it??
roxslide is offline  
post #20 of 21 (permalink) Old 02-02-2019, 12:13 AM
SAS Member
 
Tetragammon's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Utah, USA
Language: English, ちょっとだけ日本語, Java
Gender: Male
Age: 34
Posts: 1,208
Is this a real thing? It sounds like a terrible idea. Wouldn't being humiliated on a regular basis just make your anxiety worse?

"Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it." -Ayn Rand
Tetragammon is offline  
Reply

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page



Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
SAS Shame-Attacking Challenge! ardrum Goal Setting 46 05-15-2013 06:49 PM
Coping well with Anxiety is Good, Doing It Everyday is Different Story fictionmachine Frustration 6 03-06-2011 07:23 AM
Shameful Photos: Challenge me! ardrum Member Photo Albums 749 01-03-2011 03:01 PM
3Yeahs Coping with SA Challenge yeah_yeah_yeah Coping With Social Anxiety 12 02-19-2008 09:32 AM
Challenge yourself genie_in_a_bottle Triumphs Over Social Anxiety 2 09-19-2005 10:36 AM

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

 
For the best viewing experience please update your browser to Google Chrome