FINALLY seeking help - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-20-2007, 10:19 PM Thread Starter
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FINALLY seeking help


It was mostly my dad who finally probed until he figured out I was overly shy because I had a hard time coming forth about it, but I asked him to see a professional about it so I'm now set for an appointment with a family therapist. Do those of you who actually got help think this is a good start? I'm not really sure what it's going to be like or what he's gonna ask me but I hope it's the help I'm looking for and not just some of the same unhelpful advice I got from my parents before.
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post #2 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 11:57 AM
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That's great |30|3. I think it is a good start. Having someone to talk to about my problems helps me a great deal. I learned a lot about myself talking to my therapist and he helped me figure out why I am the way I am. Good luck.
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post #3 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 12:01 PM
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I think it's a really good start. Be prepared to try different things ranging from the therapy to nutrition to exercises involving people etc (you've heard it all b4). But it definitely is a good start. You possibly have a great dad.

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post #4 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 02:48 PM
 
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re: FINALLY seeking help


There's countless therapists who are esteemed as "good therapist", however, it may take more than one therapist before you find the right one for you. I have seen 3 therapists and 1 psychiatrist. However, the other 2 therapists were not for me, but for family issues. I have no stuck with my therapist for about 5 years and my psychiatrist for 2 years.
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post #5 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 03:59 PM
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re: FINALLY seeking help


Congratulations! You are on the right track. Your dad is a good guy.

Recognizing the condition is the first step.

For years, I did not know I was practising avoidance; ignoring telephone calls, sending emails instead of phone calls or face to face meetings, not participating in religious activities, not talking about yourself, avoid being the center of attraction etc, etc.

It ruined my career and my personal relationships. You are way ahead of the game.
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post #6 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-21-2007, 06:14 PM Thread Starter
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re: FINALLY seeking help


I've pretty much known there was a problem since my last couple years of high school, it's just been kinda hard admitting to it and I really didn't want to come to the realization that I possibly had SAD. Now pretty much my entire family knows thanks to my dad finding out and are more understanding I guess of my needs. I thought it'd just be between me and him, but I'm actually glad he told everyone else about it.
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post #7 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-22-2007, 03:36 AM
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re: FINALLY seeking help


|30|3, you'll probably be a lot happier once you start seeing a therapist, they help greatly. Don't be discouraged if you don't feel it's working right away, it takes a few tries. =P

You'll never be in love like you were the first time you heard the first lines of your favorite song
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post #8 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-23-2007, 09:25 PM Thread Starter
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re: FINALLY seeking help


Can I really trust them enough to open up all that's been going on in my life? I'm going through a REALLY tough time, especially since last night something unrelated to my SA came up that is just ****ed up. Do I have to 'feel them out' or anything? Any tips before I go tomorrow?
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post #9 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2007, 12:08 AM
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Re: re: FINALLY seeking help


Quote:
Originally Posted by |30|3
Can I really trust them enough to open up all that's been going on in my life? I'm going through a REALLY tough time, especially since last night something unrelated to my SA came up that is just @#%$ up. Do I have to 'feel them out' or anything? Any tips before I go tomorrow?
I wouldn't spill your heart out the first session, just get to know him/her on a personal level, and see how comfortable you are. Just tell him/her about your situation and what you go through on a daily basis, I don't think you need to get into specifics. But that's just me, different people handle situations in different ways.

You'll never be in love like you were the first time you heard the first lines of your favorite song
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post #10 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2007, 01:50 AM
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re: FINALLY seeking help


You have a good dad!

Better then most in this regard!

You have some good advice that has already been said.

I'll just add that since you have such a understanding family, you might want to try things other then drugs to start out... talk to whatever professional you see.

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post #11 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-24-2007, 09:49 AM Thread Starter
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re: FINALLY seeking help


How long will I be seeing a therapist for after I find the right one? I know everyone's different, but my parents seem to think 1 or 2 meetings will be enough for me, but I see people going for months. This obviously seems like an issue that needs to be tackled gradually, and can't really be resolved just like that. I'm going in a couple of hours, so I guess I'll find out then.
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post #12 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-25-2007, 08:45 AM
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I'm looking forward to hearing how it goes!

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post #13 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-25-2007, 09:02 AM
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re: FINALLY seeking help


Does 'family therapist' mean that your whole family goes? Let us know what kind of therapy it is - there are many different brands out there you see

Yay at you for asking for help, Mr. upward-slash 3 oh upward-slash 3

Ross

On to concentrate on bright things Stuck around in hopes to help, didnt seem like there was much left I could do anymore ... good luck and comfort to those who are on their own path and hope for those yet to take their first step! Much Love
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post #14 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 11:29 AM Thread Starter
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re: FINALLY seeking help


It's just a different way to write Bob, which isn't my name either . I guess the family therapist just means it's for anyone and everyone. I saw a couple there go in with a different therapist there and a mother and daughter come out with another. The door just said family psychology so I don't know.

It went pretty well. He broke down shyness and anxiety and explained certain factors that could cause you to develop it throughout life and other things that usually go along with it such as low self-esteem and/or depression. I explained some of the problems I was having, which is mostly talking with my peers, awkwardness of walking by someone or a group of people by myself, and basically trying to be perfect just to be accepted by the average person.

First thing he pointed out was what other people thought and what I think they are thinking about me. 50 percent of the population won't like me right off the bat simply because of their prejudices about me, whether it's my skin color, hair texture, or height. Most people are more concerned about themselves or what they need to do then what someone walking by them or sitting a few seats from them is doing or wearing, which is still kind of hard for me to believe.

I recognize that when I'm out and see someone make a mistake, I'm not critical of them or think 'what a fool that person is' but for some reason I feel they are doing just the opposite when I'm in their position.

Casual eye contact is something I had trouble with, but when I really focus on what I'm doing after just talking about it, it actually seems easier for me. Just really a one or two second glance is considered nothing out of the norm. This is just what I've come to conclude: You're not really staring at the person, it's like acknowledging that you recognize them.

I'm supposed to be seeing someone else closer to my house beginning of next week that he referred me too, due to my insurance only allowing up to 6 sessions with this office. That way, if I need any more then 6 meetings, I won't have to start from the bottom again with someone new.

So, as a way for me to just get out of the house, it was suggested I contact one of my only friends in the area and just visit him or go out to grab a bite to eat, just to build up my social exposure.

It's still hard to believe but I was told that this is easily treatable and nobody needs to be living in anxiety or fear of society or interaction. I've lived a life without anxiety before and I'm hoping I can be there again despite the challenge.
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post #15 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 12:16 PM
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Way to go! That sounds like such a positive and rewarding experience! I've not seen a therapist before, but I'd imagine it would be great to have an ally to help guide your process of overcoming SA in different contexts.

AIM: adamhoef

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post #16 of 16 (permalink) Old 07-27-2007, 09:47 PM
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re: FINALLY seeking help


I am glad you got help! It sounds like you had a pretty good first session!

Getting help for my SA is probably one of the best things I've ever done. I only wish I had done it sooner.

You are off to a good start!!!

It's OK to swing and miss, as long as you learn from it. - Jack Welch


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