Few weeks ago..
I did something totally random and out of the blue. I joined an online meetup community and we went to celebrate a festival together. I don't know what possessed me to do it.
Ever since my scumbag price of **** step-father drove me out of my house and alienated me from my family, my mentality was that I could no longer depend on family or anyone for anything.
I lived like that for a while, not getting close to people and just keeping to myself. But I feel lately like I am my limit with that. I have this yearning to constantly be with people.
That night out turned out to be one of my most happiest moments in life I almost had tears in my eyes when we watched the fireworks ate and chatted together that night. I learnt something about myself that night.
I am not as independant as I thought I was. Lack of a family and a support network has caused me to seek out people elsewhere. My Work life remains to this day, the single biggest cause of my misery and depression. I cannot socialise there and therefore, usually keep to myself.
The last couple of months have been extremely difficult for me when I could not go and visit my family after work. It used to be the thing I looked forward to after work. Now I jump at each opportunity for a meetup from that group It helps that I have something more to look forward to on weekends now.