Its been so long since I've been on here, I can't even remember my way around the site...I kinda stopped going on here when I didn't have time to go on my computer and the phone app kept mucking up.
I felt depressed for a while, not having all the lovely people on here to support and listen to me, but as my birthday came up I felt much better
I got some albums for a present (Mon the Biff!!) and I decided to do a dinner to celebrate turning 15. At the time I was sooooo nervous, but I only invited the friends I'm comfortable around so it was actually a really nice evening out! I was even that bothered (other than EXTREMELY embarassed) when the resturant started playing 'happy birthday to you' when the cake was bought out and some strangers started to join in!
To be honest, I think my social anxiety had begun to fade by then. I had recently had a success doing a presentation in English (ok so it was only in front of my teacher, but baby steps) where I got an A grade, so my confidence was soaring compared to usual. When I got back to school, I started spending more time around the group of friends I felt more comfortable around- one group I'm the most socially awkward person around (despite them being lovely people) and the other group I'm so loud around (its like a whole new me!). Its weird, but my anxiety symptons were easing. I haven't even had more than a brief chat with my counseller since the start of school- its all kinda just feel in place and got better!
I think that part of the reason I'm feeling better is my seperation from this site. This is the best place to go when you are struggling, but you must have time away from it, otherwise you get down. I'm lucky, in a way, that I just drifted away from this site at the time I was ready- but honestly, take a break from this site if you start to get better. It honestly helps!
I think I will now dedicate my time on here towards making others feel better. Feel free to message me if you have any questions on how you can look at a situation and gain confidence from it. I'm no Agony Aunt or Guru or whatever, but I have worked my way out of the situation most of the users on this site are in. Sometimes it just helps to hear about others success against the odds (for me, a big push came from watching the Paralympics, where people continued with what they love, despite the challenges they face on the way).
So now I'm just rambling- so sorry everyone but I have all these emotions I had to set free!!!
Recently I'm much happier and more confident, although its still an uphill struggle. I'm yet to put my hand up in class, but I no longer shake or cry when I'm picked to answer a question. I'm planning on making the next step (putting my hand up in the small revision class I go to after school) soon, because I feel ready now. Before the holiday I tried to push myself into improving, but I just worked myself up- now I just take it easy and do things when I feel ready. I'm feeling so good right now its indescribable, and I just wanna pass this feeling onto everyone else!
Remember, it may feel impossible right now, but one day you will let go of all those emotions and just get on in life. Thats when you will see improvement.
(By the way, I'm not saying this site is at all bad, just that people need to move on at some point. This is a great place to share your feelings and problems with people who understand you, and I am thankful that I found this website when I needed it most!)