Social Anxiety Forum

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-   Triumphs Over Social Anxiety (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f9/)
-   -   Face your Fears! (https://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f9/face-your-fears-980505/)

schen5 04-27-2014 11:23 AM

Face your Fears!
 
I have taken one tiny baby step towards curing my social anxiety. Yesterday was a turning point for me....all along I thought I was improving as a person and being more sociable, but being in a reunion with some of my old high school friends made me realize I haven't actually changed at all....my anxiety was just as high as ever, my conversational skills just as poor. My so called "improvement"? That was nothing more than avoiding potentially challenging situations. I learned to simply talk to "safe" people, or talk to people about "safe" topics like school, and only say "safe" words, that are designed to appease and not offend. I was doing this completely subconsciously-- all the while I thought I was being free-spirited.

So I said, no more....I'm going to do whatever it takes to get rid of my anxiety, even if it means i'll be uncomfortable at first. I found an eBook called The Shyness and Social Anxiety System by Sean Cooper. It made me realize that its not enough to just put yourself out there. You have to truly face your fears, watch your anxiety instead of trying to suppress it, ignore it, or run from it. Even if you fail, facing your fears is the first step. Talking to people with this new mindset, I realize that a lot of the things I say to people are not a reflection of who I am, but rather designed to protect myself from judgment. Nobody will ever like you if you aren't honest about who you are. I tried things today, that invoked that sense of anxiety and uncertainty...and guess what, they are not that bad at all, once you see it through. I said things I wouldn't normally say, and guess what, life goes on! I'm still alive right?

Anyways just a little bit of inspiration, I hope I have helped someone out there :)

LifesAClimb 04-27-2014 12:19 PM

Well done :)

arkham 04-27-2014 01:20 PM

Read that book twice, it was a great read. But I fail in real life as I did before, I don't know.. After reading it I thought it would be easier now.. but it's not yet.. :|

schen5 04-27-2014 02:10 PM

Yea its tough, like he said just reading it won't change anything. I'm still the same person today as i was yesterday reading it, perhaps a little bit wiser but no more socially adept.

Reading the book is a good first step, so congrats on that. However like he said beating social anxiety is more about lowering your inhibitions and fears rather than adding something to your personality. In that sense its more about persistence and habit than learning anything new.

Rome wasn't built in a day...it will take many hard fought months or years and persistent exposure to uncomfortable social situations to be free of anxiety.

Good thing is, you know what to do now, you just have to do it, over and over again until your brain knows it too.


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