Eating out alone - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-17-2018, 01:22 AM Thread Starter
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Eating out alone


The other day I was traveling, (Hurricane Florence made me evacuate), and I ate at a Red Lobster alone lol. Im 24 and I have never ate at a sit down restauraunt alone before, I usually just get take out. I know it can be seen as taboo or abnormal but Idgaf and did it anyway. It was kind of weird tho, the black dude who was the host asked how many was in my party and I told him just 1, and he said " Just one, (grabs menu and utensils)you need to be rollin up here with a lady or somethin, but its all good.. I LOLD after he said that and told him I was just traveling, and then we talked about the storm some.

I didnt mind the experience at all, I always enjoy being by myself, I was wondering if anyone else has a similar experience or felt judged before by others while doing this, or been deterred from trying it at all. I would say that kinda made me feel weird from the hosts comment but I just took it as a joke, even though I know people judge it wont stop me in the future from doing this again.
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post #2 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-17-2018, 05:50 AM
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I've done this many many times, on business and personally.

The only times I feel weird is in a fully packed restaurants with others waiting for a table. That's when I feel like I'm taking up space, unfairly. Irrational, I know.

Good job on your breakthrough.
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post #3 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-17-2018, 03:05 PM
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I eat alone at fast food type (casual) places all the time, but there are plenty of people who do that. I think that I ate by myself at a proper restaurant only once, when I was travelling. Now when I go to restaurants with people I see lone diners more and more often. I remember not too long ago seeing this cute guy dining alone... he seemed very confident though, not at all bothered about being alone. I assumed he had friends but none of them wanted to dine out that day and he really badly wanted to...
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post #4 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-18-2018, 12:12 AM Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by SofaKing View Post
I've done this many many times, on business and personally.

The only times I feel weird is in a fully packed restaurants with others waiting for a table. That's when I feel like I'm taking up space, unfairly. Irrational, I know.

Good job on your breakthrough.
Thank you. I can honestly see how you feel that way, the more people perhaps the more anxiety involved. I think being able to trumph over these insecure feeling though is how we can experience tremondous personal growth. Thats why I believe its something that people should just try. I have so much internal joy while just being me ive never felt ive needed to be around people. However, when I do meet people I can make it a positive experience, and I did find myself texting others while I was doing this, its just not necessary for me to enjoy myself.
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post #5 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-18-2018, 12:25 AM Thread Starter
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I eat alone at fast food type (casual) places all the time, but there are plenty of people who do that. I think that I ate by myself at a proper restaurant only once, when I was travelling. Now when I go to restaurants with people I see lone diners more and more often. I remember not too long ago seeing this cute guy dining alone... he seemed very confident though, not at all bothered about being alone. I assumed he had friends but none of them wanted to dine out that day and he really badly wanted to...
I have seen it some myself, the people who do are definitely still in the minority of course . I remember the first time I saw someone doing it I kind of felt bad for them,now I admire their confidence and try to emulate that. Nobody should be ashamed of enjoying themselves however they please. I hope to maybe show some people who are afraid to try this some time.
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post #6 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-19-2018, 01:16 AM
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Keep it up! Bring a puzzle or a book. Just don’t let the wait staff drain you dry of make you gain weight eating alone
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post #7 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-23-2018, 09:45 PM
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yeah that how I feel when I think about going out to eat alone, I can't do it, just thought of sitting alone there and maybe being judged is too much for me to eat out alone or even sit alone and eat if it's not at home .
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post #8 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-24-2018, 01:46 AM
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Some people do it. I was at a restaurant with the family a while ago and there was this girl just sitting on her own at a small table working away on her laptop. It was in the middle too - not over near a wall or anything, plus they'd taken any other chairs away from her table. I felt a bit sorry for her but she didn't seem to care at all.

I don't think I'd do it if it was packed like that.
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post #9 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-24-2018, 01:51 AM
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Maybe at a diner or something. I don't know about a full-fledged restaurant.

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post #10 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-28-2018, 09:02 PM
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I would go all the time - actually, once every other week (it was a buffet, though). I got to know the restaurant owners.
I haven't been in a while because I just got burned out eating similar stuff - plus I'd eat too much .

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post #11 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-28-2018, 09:25 PM
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I fitst started eating alone at university. At my school you had to sit with classmates at set times so i never had to deal with the possibility of having no one to eat with. At uni though i socialized very little on my course and never got invited to lunch. Since then I've eaten quite regularly alone whether it is at restaurants or at work. It doesn't bother me like it used to. It's a lot more fun having someone to eat with and that does happen as well but I'm not someone who will ever be in a position to always be accompanied to lunch or dinner.
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post #12 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-28-2018, 09:48 PM
 
 
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I like to do most things alone but I prefer not to eat alone at a restaurant. I just get take out, or call in an order to go via phone. I have never encountered a restaurant that won't do that for you.

I have tried to eat alone a few times at sit down restaurants but the waiters are usually pretty rude about it. I don't see why they have to be taken off guard, I work in service myself and I've seen everything under the sun. Hardly anything weirds me out anymore... so I don't get it. Almost every time I've eaten alone at a sit down place I get a weird comment or poor service, awkward looks from the staff etc. A few times it was fine though (places that were near hotels or inside hotels, they seemed totally indifferent).

Hm. I'm thinking maybe the waiters were rude because since I was one person they probably wouldn't get a large tip out of me?? Maybe that's it?
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post #13 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-28-2018, 10:11 PM
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Never eaten in a fancy restaurant alone. I have eaten in a family restaurant by myself a couple of times, but it was usually empty so no one seemed to care. I don't eat fast food or in restaurants in general.

Back when my anxiety wasn't bad (in the 90s) I used to go to the cafe almost every day by myself. I would just sit and read and write and drink gallons of coffee. But it's not unusual to do that sort of thing in a cafe. I'd get back into doing that but I can't really afford to.

For forty-seven years I've put up with it now. I must stop Christmas from coming ... but how?
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post #14 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-28-2018, 11:41 PM
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Only places I can sit and eat alone without feeling weird is eating lunch on a workday. Because it just comes off as getting a quick bite to eat out of convenience and go. But lunch or dinner on a non work day or weekend, that's when I feel weird doing so, because that is when one is suppose to only do this when you're with people. Although with me, if I am in the situation where I am eating alone, I will just cook and eat at home. It's cheaper and there really isn't much of an incentive to go out and eat if I am not with people anyways. For people who don't know how to cook or are too lazy to, I can see why.


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post #15 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-29-2018, 08:10 PM
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I didn't think I had but I have actually eaten alone in very fancy places too sometimes. I was probably pretty manic though so the anxiety is pretty much gone then. I stayed at Sofitel one time and it was okay because the layout of the restaurant made it reasonably comfortable to be at a table on your own. I remember I ordered one of those waigyu steaks and it was slightly undercooked. Couldn't be bothered sending it back. It was actually okay being on my own - the place was pretty quiet and I had this waiter just standing near me waiting to see if I wanted anything.
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post #16 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-29-2018, 09:09 PM
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Nicely done, I've never sat down at a fancy restaurant alone I think that would just draw too much attention to myself. I have however gone to the local coffee shops by myself but I'll have my laptop with me then too. Fast food places like McDonalds don't really count if I'm going there during work hours.
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post #17 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-29-2018, 09:26 PM
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I personally would not go to a sit down restaurant if I was alone. I don't see anything wrong with doing so, but I just don't see the point if it's just me. Restaurants seem to me like social places you go with others. If I'm hungry and alone there are plenty of other options instead of spending the cash to sit and dine alone haha

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post #18 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-30-2018, 12:00 AM
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Nicely done, I've never sat down at a fancy restaurant alone I think that would just draw too much attention to myself. I have however gone to the local coffee shops by myself but I'll have my laptop with me then too. Fast food places like McDonalds don't really count if I'm going there during work hours.
Yeah, I normally wouldn't go to a decent place on my own - it's embarassing. But when I'm manic I'm basically doing some pretty ridiculous stuff to start with so it doesn't even enter my head that it could be a problem. Eating on my own would be the least of my problems.
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post #19 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-30-2018, 12:14 AM
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I sit at the bar areas and never have a problem as it's typically where individuals sit. But, when the bar is full that's when the problems begin. Like I could never sit forever alone at Chipotle or even Taco bell listening to all the disturbing loud commotion around. But, those places I usually carry out simply because dining in there is a less than great experience anyways

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post #20 of 24 (permalink) Old 09-30-2018, 12:51 AM
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McD

never

holiday alone?

cannot produce children alone
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