hey guys, the topic for my essay is about facing adversity. I decided to write about my struggle with social anxiety disorder. Please read my essay and give me some feedback! nothing offensive please. simply constructive criticism. Thank you!





I could sit here and write about all of my achievements throughout high school and my extracurricular activities but that would not describe what brought me to where I am today. I am proudly the person I am today due to three words, social anxiety disorder. Social anxiety disorder affects 15 million people in the United States currently. I am one of fifteen million. I am more than a statistic, however. I am victim and a survivor. Social anxiety disorder is described as an intense fear of social situations/interactions and in result, avoidance of social situations and interactions. At the young age of ten my parents had begun to grow in worry over my intense and unexplainable fear of interacting with other people. My story begins with an unpleasant trip to the psychiatrist’s office in 2005. After I was seated in a cold and unpleasant room for evaluation Dr. Klupper announced the name of my disorder and wrote up a prescription for Cymbalta, an antidepressant. I was only ten years old at this time and I had already begun taking sixty milligrams per day just to get through my days. Suddenly I felt myself trapped under the hold of addiction. The medication was no longer helping my anxiety rather, increasing my anxiety. I began having four to five panic attacks per day. I stopped leaving my house, and I stopped answering my telephone out of fear. I remained inside at all possible hours throughout the next six years.
In 2010 – 2011 during my sophomore year of high school I began to avoid going to school due to intense social phobia. After missing school more than ten times within a few weeks I realized that I had to take a stand over addiction to my medication so that I could achieve good grades. I knew that I wanted an outstanding college education for myself and I also knew that If I could stop taking my medication that my anxiety would decrease due to the adverse effects of my medication. Over the next few days my parents forced me through the doors of my high school, and I forced myself to stop taking my medication. The first few weeks will remain in my memory as the most painful experience of my life thus far. I struggled to keep up with my school work due to intense physical pain from withdrawal. I had little to no physical strength inside my body. The pain grew to the point where I had to be laying down or I would get nauseous and vomit. My anxiety increased to even higher heights. I began having at least eight panic attacks per day at school. Every morning, afternoon and evening I was faced with headaches, vomiting, nausea, lack of appetite and insomnia. Although I was faced with even more so increased anxiety and intense physical pain I continued to wake up every morning for the rest of the year, fight the pain, and go to school. I continued to study and work for hours each night on homework through gritted teeth. Eventually my grades began to soar to all-time highs, the side effects ended, and my anxiety decreased. I used to believe that this disorder had me. I used to believe that this disorder controlled me, and my future. I am thankful to have experienced such an obstacle in my life for it has taught me true mental and physical strength. The experience of slowly overcoming a disorder and battling addiction showed me that a future is something you must fight for; a truly pleasant future is something that must be earned it is not handed to you. I will continue to fight this disorder for the future I know I deserve as well as the education I know I deserve. The University of **** represents my dream of achieving my highest potential of education.

simply amazing...nice essay..well written.....very honest ....i think it is a wonderful essay...i cant fing anything wrong with this essay....may be u can add something more abt shyness nd anxiety i mean general things...so that people cud get an idea abt what it is ..but overall it a wonderful essay...it is very inspirational..


u seem like a wonderful person...sorry to hear that u had to go through all this....but u have handled it very well...it has made u stronger..wish u all success in life..gud luck

I like it, very open and honest and shows character. I like the above idea to add a sentence or two pretty early into the essay about what it really felt like living with extreme shyness and anxiety before even taking any meds.

Also, I do notice some grammatical stuff and might wanna just reword some sentences so it flows better such as change:

"I was only ten years old at this time and I had already begun taking sixty milligrams per day just to get through my days."

to

"I was only ten years old at the time and had already begun taking sixty milligrams every morning just to survive my daily routine."

I would say ask your English teacher to have a look and follow their advice, but overall very good job.

Very powerful essay, you have a bright future ahead of you.

It's good that you explained about why you didn't do so well in the beginning of high school, then you managed to pick up and earn high grades.

"I am victim and a survivor." You probably shouldn't say you're a victim...

"The University of **** represents my dream of achieving my highest potential of education." May be a little vague here. I think it would be a nice touch if you also add in what you want to study in college and your career goal. That shows you know what you want to do and that you have a direction in mind. In the beginning of the essay, you can say that that you wanted to be a ___, but you couldn't seem to get past your anxiety issues to do well in the necessary classes. Now that you have triumphed over your personal issues and can handle a full course load, you hope to study ___ at University of **** and work towards becoming a ___.

Good luck!

I also wrote my college essay on Social Anxiety. It takes guts to do it, congrats man.

I have also gaven an assignment writing services on this topic so this is very helpful for me to find some good points.

Very informative and inspirational. Thank you for sharing.

it's wonderful. i mean it.

You just write at that point that to socialize your idea is not an easy task. we have to chose many ways to make it and according to my knowledge making a PowerPoint presentations is a great sources of building big interested of public.

I like it. Unique, personal. Seems very honest. As someone else said, shows character. If you have the grades, I expect you'll find an admission letter in your mailbox.