“Coke, with no ice” - Social Anxiety Forum
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post #1 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-25-2021, 02:30 PM Thread Starter
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“Coke, with no ice”


Every time I dine out, I order a coke, and because I have sensitive teeth, I prefer it without ice. I always dread specifying that I don’t want the ice. For some reason, it makes me feel like an entitled B****. Like I’m so special I need extra care or something.. Never judged people who could do that, but still, this is how I’ve felt about this for years.

Today I did it. I said “Coke, with no ice” and I didn’t feel like a b****. I didn’t feel guilty about this at all. It felt normal. Like it should. It’s just a coke, without the cubes of ice for crying out loud.

(the restaurant was empty, and I followed local Corona-guidelines)

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post #2 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-25-2021, 03:41 PM
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Good on you!

Sometimes we order without ice cause then most of the drink will be the ice.
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post #3 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-25-2021, 05:06 PM
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There's another good reason for not wanting the ice. Where I used to work, the ice would come from a huge icemaker/chest in the back and if you looked in the top of the machine, you could see there was black mold growing in there. After I saw that, I always got mine with no ice everywhere I went.

They had the same machine the whole time I was working there and it was never cleaned and always had the mold problem.

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post #4 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-25-2021, 05:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeletra View Post
Every time I dine out, I order a coke, and because I have sensitive teeth, I prefer it without ice. I always dread specifying that I don’t want the ice. For some reason, it makes me feel like an entitled B****. Like I’m so special I need extra care or something.. Never judged people who could do that, but still, this is how I’ve felt about this for years.

Today I did it. I said “Coke, with no ice” and I didn’t feel like a b****. I didn’t feel guilty about this at all. It felt normal. Like it should. It’s just a coke, without the cubes of ice for crying out loud.

(the restaurant was empty, and I followed local Corona-guidelines)
Good for you. I don't drink soda very often these days, but if I do order it at a restaurant I always ask for "no ice". I used to feel bad about it, but I've long since gotten over it. It really isn't any different than customizing an order the way you want it.

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post #5 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-25-2021, 06:08 PM
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I always order soda without ice as well. I feel as though things like that are OK if you are polite about it and remember to say please. Sometimes I can come off like a dick though because of my monotone voice. But good for you hooray for small victories!

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post #6 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-26-2021, 02:31 PM
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I've always ordered soft drinks at restaurants without ice, too. It's because, if you don't, half your drink will be ice, and then it will melt and water down your drink, so you feel the need to drink it super fast before that happens, and then you don't get to savor the drink and you just end up with a brain freeze.

It never really bothered me to ask; to me, it's like asking for a burger without tomatoes or something (because tomatoes are awful). But I do have it sometimes where, when I get to the counter or whatever to place my order, my brain locks up or whatever it usually does when I'm put on the spot, and I completely forget to ask for no ice. And then I have a drink that's half Sunkist and half water.
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post #7 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2021, 08:53 AM
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I know it's easy for us to feel like we are being fussy about stuff, or to feel like we'll be put down (again) if we ask for specifics. We have the right to get things how we want. Of course, when we make a choice that is "unconventional", we might be looked at as if we have 2 or 3 heads. I'm glad that there was no guilt or shame, to ask for something, especially as it affects your well-being. Congrats!
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post #8 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2021, 09:12 AM
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Awesome! I know the feeling, I sometimes end up asking for things in a ridiculously OTT way ("Could you kindly bring it without the ice, please?") just because I feel so awkward about someone serving me. I guess I want to signal "I'm an OK customer! I'm not going to be an *******!". But I am getting more relaxed as years go by, so now this only happens when I get flustered for whatever reason.

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post #9 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2021, 09:41 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeletra View Post
Every time I dine out, I order a coke, and because I have sensitive teeth, I prefer it without ice. I always dread specifying that I don’t want the ice. For some reason, it makes me feel like an entitled B****. Like I’m so special I need extra care or something.. Never judged people who could do that, but still, this is how I’ve felt about this for years.

Today I did it. I said “Coke, with no ice” and I didn’t feel like a b****. I didn’t feel guilty about this at all. It felt normal. Like it should. It’s just a coke, without the cubes of ice for crying out loud.

(the restaurant was empty, and I followed local Corona-guidelines)
Don't worry about ordering without ice. I always order without ice because (1) it's already cold enough for me, (2) by the time I get to the bottom of the glass, my drink is already 90% water and I don't like that.

Also, having experience serving fountain drinks many, many, years ago, it's actually more trouble to serve with ice. You have to scoop up the ice and put it in the glass, you have to replace the ice more often, etc. just putting the cup under the fountain is way easier--and it makes a difference when there is a long line.

Also, I remember my manager would always tell us to put more ice than was ever necessary. That way they "save" on product. Pretty pathetic!

So the point is that ordering with no ice does have its own positive points. Don't feel bad about it.

"I might be great tomorrow, but hopeless yesterday"
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post #10 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2021, 01:06 PM
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When I was a kid, I used to order drinks with no ice, for the same reason as George Costanza: "Don't you find that you get more without it?"
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post #11 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2021, 01:25 PM
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(the restaurant was empty, and I followed local Corona-guidelines)
Sorry to be off-topic, but I just barely noticed this at the end of your post. To be honest, going into a restaurant that was completely empty and devoid of customers would have been a way harder challenge for me than asking for no ice in my drink. It always makes me feel like there's a spotlight on me, to walk into an empty establishment. Obviously COVID doesn't help in that regard, because most restaurants these days are empty due to no dine-in allowed.
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post #12 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-28-2021, 01:40 PM
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Speaking of the COVID thing, I have honestly not eaten anything that wasn't packaged since this started. The idea of eating things people have been handling and breathing around while the virus is going on just freaks me out. But I generally don't eat from restaurants anyway. I like to make my own food so I can make sure it's cooked properly.

/WYSD
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post #13 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-29-2021, 01:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeletra View Post
Every time I dine out, I order a coke, and because I have sensitive teeth, I prefer it without ice. I always dread specifying that I don’t want the ice. For some reason, it makes me feel like an entitled B****. Like I’m so special I need extra care or something.. Never judged people who could do that, but still, this is how I’ve felt about this for years.

Today I did it. I said “Coke, with no ice” and I didn’t feel like a b****. I didn’t feel guilty about this at all. It felt normal. Like it should. It’s just a coke, without the cubes of ice for crying out loud.

(the restaurant was empty, and I followed local Corona-guidelines)
Great stuff!

I like that, through acknowledging these self-conscious feelings "don't make sense with reality" (feeling that you come off as entitled), you still decided not to let your feelings dictate your actions. What's even better is you reconfirming with yourself that ordering a coke with no ice is normal. If you dine out again, continuing to do that will reinforce this feeling of triumph, which you may be able to use to overcome other areas of your anxiety. But one step at a time is fine.

Nice work Skeletra

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post #14 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-29-2021, 09:28 PM
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Awesomeness!
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post #15 of 15 (permalink) Old 01-29-2021, 10:27 PM
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Good for you! I bet the server didn't think anything of it, and it will probably be easier to ask for it next time.
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