Actually managed to be effectively assertive for first time in face to face situation - Social Anxiety Forum
 
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post #1 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 04:49 AM Thread Starter
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Actually managed to be effectively assertive for first time in face to face situation


I did an online assertiveness course towards the end of last year, but before today found it much easier said than done to put the suggested techniques in practice. There have been times I've said assertive things in online or text communication with others since, but could never quite bring myself to work up to face to face situations. As what tends to happen is either my anxiety increases so much that I feel i have to resort to using passive behaviour just to calm myself down or else I end up losing my temper and as a result get so angry I still can't communicate effectively in the situation anyway.

However today was different. I had to go to a doctor's appointment this morning at my local doctors surgery. Something I never like doing, as almost every time I see any doctor there for anything I find them to have an unpleasant abrupt manner, and also that they mostly don't tend to be willing to listen to you if you have anything to say that doesn't fit in with their opinions - even if it's for a perfectly good reason.

Anyways I'm rambling a bit (apologies!) and will get to the point. Basically the doctor I saw today made a suggestion concerning some medication I'm currently taking that I strongly disagreed with, especially as recently I decided to seek a second opinion from a different doctor based in another area regarding the same thing - who gave me information that contradicted what this doctor said, which also to me made much more sense and which I felt much happier with. Normally, I find it very hard to disagree face to face with other people. But somehow today, without even thinking about it, I stood up to this person and told her that I didn't agree that was the best thing for me right now and why that was. She didn't like what I had to tell her at all, and made it clear that she was irritated. But for once, I didn't allow myself to be intimidated by this and just stood my ground. I wasn't rude or anything, but was firm. It actually worked! She ended up backing down and accepted what I said. That's the first time I've ever had that happen there. I felt in a slight state of shock after leaving the surgery as couldn't believe that for once things had turned out so differently! This will definitely give me that bit more confidence to use assertiveness techniques more often in real life situations. I feel pretty proud of myself.
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post #2 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 11:01 AM
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You should be very proud of yourself! Congratulations!

Assertiveness is something I've always found to be very challenging as well and have worked on a lot over the years.
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post #3 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-18-2009, 01:15 PM
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Excellent!
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post #4 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-19-2009, 07:32 AM Thread Starter
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Many thanks!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Drew View Post
Assertiveness is something I've always found to be very challenging as well and have worked on a lot over the years.
I can imagine that that must have taken alot of effort. I know from my own experiences how difficult a skill like that can be to start mastering. Good for you!
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post #5 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-19-2009, 07:42 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Black_Widow View Post
She didn't like what I had to tell her at all, and made it clear that she was irritated. But for once, I didn't allow myself to be intimidated by this and just stood my ground. I wasn't rude or anything, but was firm.
I like this part ^ Her irritation didn't phase you and you remained firm without being rude. Nice job.

life is one big social game
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post #6 of 6 (permalink) Old 07-19-2009, 06:08 PM
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kudos on maintaining your position and not giving in
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