First off, I just wanna say, for anybody in doubt or anybody who has tried tons of things to overcome their social anxiety but nothing is working.. this post could be very helpful in overcoming your social anxiety disorder
. I'm around 80% rid of this disease from these methods.
I just wanted to say exposure has been helping me get over my social anxiety slowly and I feel like it's the #1 method of overcoming it, and if you're interested, you should read this post. However, I don't know for sure.. it might not work depending what kind of person you are, but I recommend you give it a try.. and don't give up. You can do anything you put your mind to.
Personally, I will NOT take any medication. I used to never have this problem, and I can get rid of it myself. Besides, medication doesn't get 100% rid of your anxiety. Do you really wanna have to take pills daily just to be able to be happy in life? Maybe you do. That's fine. That's not good for me.. I like doing things my own way.. and I've done 1000s of hours of research and testing, exposure is the only thing that has worked.
Social anxiety sucks, and I don't feel anybody deserves to have to deal with it, and I want to help.
Constantly, I see TONS of depressing posts on this forum.. about how it's impossible to get over social anxiety or whatever.
Honestly.. just look at the first few posts in this exposure category.. quite negative and un-motivating posts.
I mean come on...
, how can you expect to overcome social anxiety or any problem with all these constant negative and depressing thoughts
. Every time I browse posts on this forum it's sad how many people are giving up on trying to overcome social anxiety.
When I first found this forum and signed up, February 15th, 2012, I remember there was a week period after first finding the site, where because of all the negative, depressing thoughts and posts, I became very depressed. I thought there was no way out, and I was just gonna have to learn how to manage with social anxiety and live an unsatisfying life.
But really, that wasn't true at all. What I've learned is.. it's not impossible. ANYTHING you want to do.. you can do.
One movie, that if you apply it, will change your life forever: http://www.thesecret.tv/thesecretfilm/
Watch the trailer on this page, read the inspiring success stories. Buy the DVD and watch it (I do not make any commissions). It talks about how constant negative thoughts ONLY give you more, constant negative thoughts and how positive thoughts help you attract the things you want in life.
This is the movie that I applied to my life, I've stared getting rid of my social anxiety, I bought my dream car. I also used it to achieve my goal of working online once every few months and being able to sustain $100k a year. So this "Secret" definitely works.
I'm gonna expand more about this in the next post but it's extremely important. Watch it!
Exposure CAN and WILL work, you just have to tweak it to your specific problems and fears. I can help!
Below is my story and tips/tools I've personally used to overcome my social anxiety quite a bit, and I feel it can give most people if not all, what they need to start living a normal life again.
Using the Liebowitz scale, I've been able to keep track of my progress overall. If you're not familiar with it, I would check it out here, so you can see how far you come in your therapy. http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/liebowitz/
I first self-diagnosed myself back in January 2012 using the Liebowitz scale. I answered every question very honestly, and I ended up selecting severe (3) for every single question and had a score of 144, which is extremely severe.
I tested it about a week ago, and I'm now down to 67 (almost to moderate!!
) from a 144+ when I last checked. How's that for progress? Down 77 points on the Liebowitz scale from a years work? Not bad. And I've been going at a very slow and steady pace, but that's how I prefer it.. Besides.. most people who have social anxiety have probably had it for quite a few years now. Going at too fast of a pace can be very overwhelming.. I've done it. If you just now are starting to feel social anxiety coming on, make sure you take action right away.
For me, it's taken me 1 year to come down 77 points from very severe, to just medium/marked. 12 more and I'm basically no longer considered to have social phobia
However, I'm not gonna lie, I've honestly still got a ways to go, but I make progress every week. I figure in a year or two, I should be 100% over it. Really the reason 12 more points will take me another year or two to get over, is because I saved the hardest tasks for last. I figure that's the best way, considering until I can focus on the hardest parts, it's nice to have the basics of being able to enjoy going out to eat and do stuff, hang out with friends, get your own place, and just actually live a normal overall life.
Remember, there's no "get well quick" or whatever with social anxiety disorder. No quick fix. Doing this takes time and commitment just like anything else. Unfortunately, there really is no such thing as an easy button. Depending on how fast you're willing to go, you'll see improvements. I just recommend to NOT rush into anything, as facing your biggest fear head on, can make it tons worse. This is why I start VERY slowly and work my way up.
What this does is trains your brain that what you fear, really isn't so scary.
Tip (you can easily try this too):
I used to not be able to talk on the phone. I would get so nervous, I'd stumble and not know what to say and freeze, and I'd end up hanging up on them.
So to start solving this, I figured I'd write down what I would say to the person I'd be talking with on the phone, so I wouldn't run out of things to say when talking to them.
I needed to call PayPal to get my account situation figured out, which is the perfect type of call for what I was trying to do. I knew I had a problem I needed solved for my account, I knew I could write down exactly what I wanna say and how to phrase it right without going blank and hanging up from embarrassment. I wrote everything out, even how I would say good bye. I know it sounds kinda silly but it worked.
The first 2 times I still ended up hanging up from being too nervous. But then finally, on the 3rd call a few days later or so, I managed to call PayPal and talk to somebody about my account, and I got everything figured out. And guess what? I didn't die. It wasn't a big deal at all. Now, it's no problem for me to call companies or really anybody. I actually prefer
it now. I'm working on a few new business and products, and have been calling and contacting companies non stop to cut deals and all that stuff. It's no longer a problem because I slowly
I retrained my brain to realize, there really is nothing to be scared about. I'll get more into this throughout the rest of the post.
This is just a little proof that exposure and a little basic cognitive therapy does work.
I'm not saying you HAVE to go slowly, go at your own pace. Some people believe jumping head in is the best way to do it. Not for me. Find out what works for you.. test things. If you want help coming up with ideas, feel free to send me a message I'd be glad to discuss it and help you come up with a few ideas to get you started. I'm pretty damn sure you'll see results within a week or maybe less.
Anyway, let's continue.
When I was a sophomore in highschool is when things started getting bad, but I'll start before that. Up until sophomore year, I didn't have any social anxiety at all. As a kid, my mom told me I would run around the grocery stores saying hi to everyone and trying to start conversations with anybody I could. As I grew up, in school I was actually considered pretty popular. I was even voted class clown a few years in middle school and elementary school. I had tons of friends and girlfriends over the years, including quite a few different girlfriends my freshman year of highschool, a pretty good life I took for granted, but now, my life is honestly better and I don't regret anything. I just have a few more problems I need to sort out
Sophomore year, I started gaining weight, my parents were tight with money so I didn't have nice clothes to wear, I had just broken up with my girlfriend of 2 years, and my self esteem just started declining rapidly until I pretty much had none or very little left.
I'm out of room to add much more, so I'll continue in the next post.
Edit: If you enjoyed the post, a like would be nice so more people can see this and start overcoming their S.A.D.