Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Page 2 - Social Anxiety Forum

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post #21 of 358 (permalink) Old 09-30-2010, 04:15 AM
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Originally Posted by Buster H View Post
I'm a pessimist. So many rave about this cbt on this thread. I'm new and have never tried anything other than medication. My most simple question is, how can someone tell me something about myself that I dont already know? I think simple-minded people can get help this way, but when youre full of personal insight, how can this help? I know what i need to do to get better, and i just cant do it,
+1
me too, i know whats wrong with me and who i m and where i m in life more than any doctor no matter how many countless hours i tell them my story. i m not dumb and know its all irrational or how it started or how it can end. but i cant do it, thats my problem. if i could get over it by talking and findint the roots of my problems and stuffs i would not be like this would I? dont you think i have tried? its basically all i do. selfhelp is a joke for someone like me. might work for others. but me i needs meds and dont even know if they're gonna work.
anyone without the diseases i have is never going to know what is it no matter how many psychiatic books they gobble. i know better about my particular disease more than anybody else and have done possibly all sorts of self help a cbt would include. but it doesnt work, it just doesnt for me.
the doctors should realy focus on not thinking their patients are stupid just because they have mental diseases, and give them meds when they need them.
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post #22 of 358 (permalink) Old 10-13-2010, 03:11 PM
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I tried Dr. Richards tapes as well as a book. I do think it helped but not nearly as much as medication. I guess everyone is different but apparently in my case there was a problem that needed medication to correct. I became very frustrated and thank god my family doctor helped me get medication. I no longer have social anxiety at all and people are shocked that I ever could have. Unfortunately, I still have panic attacks and have sense moved so no luck trying a medication for that. Eventually, I am going to get so freaked out that I'll end up going to the ER and getting a big bill. Well, I don't have a job (due to the panic attacks) so at least I won't be paying the bill lol Add it to the long list of items I'll eventually have to file bankrupstsy on but right now I cannot even afford to file (ironic isn't it).
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post #23 of 358 (permalink) Old 10-16-2010, 09:25 AM
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+1
me too, i know whats wrong with me and who i m and where i m in life more than any doctor no matter how many countless hours i tell them my story. i m not dumb and know its all irrational or how it started or how it can end. but i cant do it, thats my problem. if i could get over it by talking and findint the roots of my problems and stuffs i would not be like this would I? dont you think i have tried? its basically all i do. selfhelp is a joke for someone like me. might work for others. but me i needs meds and dont even know if they're gonna work.
anyone without the diseases i have is never going to know what is it no matter how many psychiatic books they gobble. i know better about my particular disease more than anybody else and have done possibly all sorts of self help a cbt would include. but it doesnt work, it just doesnt for me.
the doctors should realy focus on not thinking their patients are stupid just because they have mental diseases, and give them meds when they need them.
CBT isn't about getting to the roots of your problem, it's about changing your negative thoughts. If you have negative thoughts and have SA, CBT will work for you. Negative thoughts such as:

"CBT won't work for me even though I have no idea what it is."
"Doctors think i'm stupid."
"People who write self help books for anxiety have never had anxiety."
"For some reason, my anxiety is different than the countless people who have cured theirs with CBT."
"I can't do it."

All of these are irrational, every one is perpetuated by your anxiety, and every one is incorrect. Its kind of a catch 22. In order for CBT to work, you have to believe it's going to help you. CBT is trying to correct negative thoughts such as "CBT won't work for me." I'm staring at this post and seeing someone that fits the mold perfectly for a potential CBT success story.
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post #24 of 358 (permalink) Old 10-23-2010, 09:37 PM
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cognitive therapy and me


I was directed towards the books about CT and read those and tried to follow the directions to the T but i had a lot of trouble. FIrst and foremost i think is that i didn't have a therapist to help me along, and still don't, i have a psychiatrist, therapists aren't covered by the disability program my province provides. Anyway, i tried to do the paperwork and write down realistic thoughts to my irrational ones but i had trouble believing in it after a week or two because my body was telling me that i wasn't being irrational. My depression didn't get any better because i told myself that i would get better with time and the right meds, therapy or whatever. MY anxiety didn't improve much except at the very start when you are excited about something. I needed a real therapist to guide me and i cannot afford one and that is the end of it. My next stop is a hospital so maybe i'll get a therapist there but i don't know where else to turn. I think i'll try some support groups though i get freaked out thinking about it.

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post #25 of 358 (permalink) Old 10-29-2010, 09:50 AM
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I tried the Dr. Richards Book and CD set, but I felt the paperback $10 book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" worked much better for my social anxiety and depression. I have been on every medication, to therapists, in group therapy, and CBT has by far helped me the most with my problems by eventually changing the irrational thoughts which I used to have. I would highly recommend this book, and it does take work, sort of like homework but definitely worth it!!

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post #26 of 358 (permalink) Old 10-29-2010, 10:38 AM
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I tried the Dr. Richards Book and CD set, but I felt the paperback $10 book "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" worked much better for my social anxiety and depression. I have been on every medication, to therapists, in group therapy, and CBT has by far helped me the most with my problems by eventually changing the irrational thoughts which I used to have. I would highly recommend this book, and it does take work, sort of like homework but definitely worth it!!
Did you work through all of the Dr. Richard's Book and CD set? What didn't you like about it? I'm currently in the middle of it.

Please, call me Mike.

My SA and Depression blog: Unhappy Happiness

My CBT log: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...es-log-102328/
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post #27 of 358 (permalink) Old 12-06-2010, 08:00 PM
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I am currently in CB Therapy. This is my third month. Here is a little bit about why I sought out help, what CB meant to me when I started, and where I am at now.

Brief history: SA got worse over time. In my youth, money and suburban life covered up much of my SA. When I felt nervous about eating around others, I simply slipped the hostess a "tip" and got a tall, isolated booth where nobody could see or overhear me. I drove everywhere in my car with tinted windows. And if for instance my computer broke down and I had to go into Bestbuy or somewhere to fix it, I would simply buy a new one and have it sent to me overnight online.

Then I grew up and reality hit me. I was on my own, living on a very small budget. That meant taking the bus everywhere, sharing an apartment, working along side coworkers, cafes, etc. I was in a big city and going to a big school. Classrooms, crowded public transportation, group projects, elevators, crowded cafes, sidewalks, you name it... people everywhere. With no constructive coping mechanisms (I had destructive ones like isolation, alcohol, etc. which didnt' help anything), my SA got worse and worse.

I could no longer function. I avoided everything because the pressure was too great. If I was 30 seconds late for class, the thought of having everyone look at me as I walked in late was too great, so I skipped it, even if major papers were due. I constantly missed appointments, being too afraid to go to them (though I was great at scheduling them!). Even though I loved certain cafes, parks, etc., I was too afraid to get outside and go to them because what that entailed (walking in public, the bus, what if the places were crowded?). I began to have panic attacks, grades dropped, got fired from multiple jobs for not showing up, relationships broke down. So I finally admitted I had a problem and signed up with a CB therapist (one on one sessions).

CBT experience: the first week.
I was excited about getting help. I truly wanted to get better, and was pretty depressed, so I was willing to try anything to get out of my mental state of hell. My therapist explained to me that we were going to try to change my (1) thoughts, (2) behaviors, and that that would eventually lead to changing (or controlling / accepting) my emotions, my bad thoughts, and even my physical comfort level. We started slow. She let me talk about all my SA problems and get them off my chest, which I really needed to do because I had no support system whatsoever. She started me out with simple exercises like mapping out my reaction to simple situations like getting the mail: what did I feel when I went to get the mail? Fears? Thoughts / bad stories? I enjoyed doing these exercises because I had never analyzed myself in such a way... sort of from a neutral, third person perspective.

The therapy didn't instantly "save" me or shift my perspective in life, or "cure" me. I still had major anxiety and depression. I felt upbeat in the first week in that I was out there, trying something new, dealing with my problems, talking to someone.

CBT experience: current situation.

After three months of therapy, I'd like to tell you all that I am much better, but that would be a lie. Things are moving along slowly... but they are moving. To shift my way of thinking is going to take a lot of time... and a lot of energy! Yes, cognitive therapy isn't some passive process where you lay back for the ride. On the contrary, it takes a lot of work, constant effort (in the form of thoughtfulness / awareness), and some faith too, to get through the bad times. I am still optimistic.

So what has changed for me? Not anything major, but I have small changes that occur in me daily that I am proud of. For instance, today I wanted to eat a bowl of cereal after finishing my dinner (instead of studying; procrastination). Instead of mindlessly getting and eating the cereal like a zombie, or screaming at myself in my head "don't eat the cereal you Fn loser, you need to study," and then stubbornly trying to study while still thinking of the cereal the whole time (which is what would happen before), I stopped myself.

I paused in the kitchen and I thought to myself "OK, my therapist said I should take a breath and be aware of my thoughts and behavior tonight, so I'll do that now before I eat the cereal." (I was still intending to eat the cereal at this point.) So I stood there in the kitchen, took some breaths, and "checked out" my body: I felt a little cold, my head hurt, my jaw was clenching, and my stomach felt full. I accepted all that. Next step, I reviewed how I was feeling: anxious (obviously), stressed, confused, low-confidence, aimless, sad, and much more. I accepted that.

Then I surveyed my thoughts (I was supposed to write them down by was too lazy, but I guess I'm doing that now): I wanted cereal, and I wanted it now. I didn't want to study. The cereal would make me feel good. I needed to study because I'm in finals, but I'm too stupid and tired to study at night anyway, so I might as well eat cereal. How did I become such a loser, standing in my kitchen analyzing if I should eat cereal? Just act! Don't just sit here. If I deny myself this cereal, my night will be ruined. And so on and so on went my thoughts. I accepted these thoughts.

At the end, I took all my emotions, thoughts, and sensations and told myself: "Hey man, this is what is going on with you in this moment. You are a stressed out guy, standing in a cold kitchen having just eaten dinner, full, not wanting to study because studying will suck, and wanting to eat cereal because it tastes so good and you need a break." I accepted all that. Then I asked myself "So what does this guy (myself) want to do at this point?" I decided to not eat the cereal and ate an apple instead.

That to me is CB therapy at work. I know the above was far from major, but that's fine, right now I'm just learning the technique, so when some major life-break down happens in the future (and those bad days always eventually come for everyone), I will be prepared. Through the CB therapy, I realized my old way of living was "auto-pilot": I just reacted to everything, kept repeating the same thoughts over and over, the same emotions, and getting the same results. CB therapy is slowly giving me some control back, so that in any given situation I have a choice to make, I don't just react. This is good because my old way of reacting to almost all social situations was this: "I'm a loser, I can't be social, I wish I just died...," which caused me to be depressed, which caused me to avoid whatever social situation was bothering me.

So whoever out there is wondering if CB therapy is right for them, I hope my story helps, if you managed to read my rather long post all the way through. Just know going in that it takes time. And you are an active participant. If you don't do the work, the therapy will fail. It's not some therapist giving you all the answers to life and telling you what to do to get better, it's really the therapists job just to give the tools... the techniques... for getting better yourself. The more I practice the above techniques of assessing my own thoughts and feelings, accepting them, and then going above and beyond them, the more control I feel over my life... and this GREATLY reduces my anxiety.

I will update you guys next year on where I'm at with my therapy. Thanks to everyone else for sharing your stories. (Disclosure: six months ago, I began taking anti-depressants for my panic attacks, and I've been on those the whole way through my CBT. They have also helped a lot. They've taken the "edge" off my fear and anxiety, enough so I can move, act, and think again, and not just stay home afraid to move.)
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post #28 of 358 (permalink) Old 12-07-2010, 08:27 PM
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I went through an entire 16-week course of CBT as part of a study at stanford.

It made my social anxiety worse. Much worse.
Have you looked at the reasons why it may have made it worse?
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post #29 of 358 (permalink) Old 12-07-2010, 10:52 PM
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I ordered the Dr.Richard CBT tapes a while ago-I haven't really been persistent with doing it everyday..I'm trying to get on track with that so I could see if it'll do any good
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post #30 of 358 (permalink) Old 12-15-2010, 04:53 PM
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CBT, thumbs up!


Hi, guys. Today is my first day on the forum and I stumbled upon this thread. It disheartens me to think that some people have really taken to negative thoughts about CBT (but, honestly, I'd say I'm not surprised.. because it is in our nature with s.a.d. to have negative thoughts). I wanted to discuss a bit about my current treatment.

I live in South Florida and found an anxiety treatment center at the University of Miami. It's generally Phd students who are working towards becoming psychologists, but I must say.. my experience overall has been great. They are supervised by licensed professionals (so, yes, there are cameras involved but I tend to forget they're there). I began my treatment at the end of September so I've only been in treatment about 2 and a half months.

In particular.. I see a therapist individually once a week for about 50 minutes and I also joined the group session which is held once a week for about 2 hours. I have had many ups and downs (but fortunately more ups).

I have to say, that I can't imagine any other way to work on social anxiety. I'm 26 and have had these horrible habits since I was at least 5 years old. I fear embarassment and constantly worry about what others are thinking of me. Do they think I'm stupid? Am I bothering them by merely conversing with them? CBT helps put me in situations which I've avoided all my life... asking questions in a store, striking up a conversation with a stranger, and presenting in front of groups of varying size. Without CBT and without my therapists, I just don't see how I could have possibly performed these exposures on my own. I highly recommend it.. and if you're able, I would certainly attempt this with a therapist because reading a book doesn't give you the same push that maybe a therapist can give.

Essentially, I feel disheartened by others' negative experiences because I wonder if they were hoping to be "fixed" in a short amount of time. In many cases (such as my own) those with social anxiety have had the disorder for countless years and the thoughts and habits that accumulated over these years certainly can't be undone within a matter of weeks or even months. While my treatment is limited to a certain amount of weeks, there are follow-ups and I have been given the tools to work on reducing my negative automatic thoughts in the future. Therapy is only at a maximum a few hours a week, the rest of the week (and your life) is up to you.

If you're considering CBT as a treatment, I highly recommend it. But it takes a lot of courage, patience, and most importantly commitment. Are you ready to make a change? If so, CBT is for you. If not, it won't be successful. I hope I helped with this long post (oops! ).. if I can answer any questions, please feel free to ask! In conjunction with therapy.. I also have begun reading "Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy" by David D. Burns, M.D. and I am finding it helpful as well, so far.


"Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it." - Bill Cosby
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post #31 of 358 (permalink) Old 12-15-2010, 07:07 PM
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Hey there. These are some great thoughts, and I agree with every one of them. I, too, am finding CBT extremely helpful. That said, I am just working with the cognitive piece. I would really like to find a behavioral therapy group to supplement the cognitive portion. I am jealous of the program that you're in. Anyway, I hope things continue going well!

Please, call me Mike.

My SA and Depression blog: Unhappy Happiness

My CBT log: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...es-log-102328/
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post #32 of 358 (permalink) Old 12-15-2010, 08:32 PM
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Originally Posted by mjhea0 View Post
Hey there. These are some great thoughts, and I agree with every one of them. I, too, am finding CBT extremely helpful. That said, I am just working with the cognitive piece. I would really like to find a behavioral therapy group to supplement the cognitive portion. I am jealous of the program that you're in. Anyway, I hope things continue going well!
Your info says you're from San Fran.. maybe some of the local universities have CBT sessions? It's not inexpensive.. but I'd say if its within your means.. it's worth it. Feeling the way I've felt my whole life, just about any money in my account was worth it to me! I truly hope you find a program near you good luck!!

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. - Bill Cosby
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post #33 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-22-2011, 09:46 AM
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I think the trick to good CBT, which despite it's fancy name is usually just affirmations from what I've seen, is to get at statements that are actually TRUE for you. Every example of it that I've seen in books has been complete hogwash that I can get in any New Age book of magic words that don't work unless you can hypnotize yourself into believing them, and for someone with a serious disorder that will not last long or go very far if works at all. But in desperation after reading book after book about anxiety that doesn't help, I decided to try harder to make what I read work, and that's what I found -- it takes FOREVER to come up with something I can believe but if I do it does help. The trouble besides zoning in on it and the time it takes is that I have a very serious disorder so I have a LOT of beliefs that work against me. Which, btw is the trick to zoning in on issues and coming up with good disputations -- they are not ALL irrational thoughts and most CBT I've read treats them all that way. But it is more like a fact in my life that my father, for instance, will argue with me. Thinking something like "The past doesn't equal the future" or some nonsense helps not at all because it is not really true. So I have to work along the lines of "Most likely he will argue with me" and then work something out that I can live with from that when I have to approach him. I then usually go to some other nonsense I read in CBT books like "Well I don't have to fall apart" but those are not true either. Of course I don't HAVE to fall apart, but my problem is I DO. So I then start fishing around for why I do, what belief I have that causes me to react that way that I might be able to change, that's something that HE implanted and that I myself don't really believe, or that I really am not completely sure of for some reason that gives me some leeway to break away from the feelings and beliefs that ARE rational given my circumstances, but don't SERVE me well, in favor of something that I can believe is TRUE, not something I'd merely LIKE to be true like "I don't care".

"Is he always right?"
"Well he's usually right"
"But isn't there some things you have been right about?"

The thing is I am also in Adult Children of Alcoholics which is my bedrock of therapy. So I take what I learn there and then use CBT to apply it. Without some other source of support and insight, CBT is useless.
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post #34 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-30-2011, 08:49 PM
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I started CBT several weeks ago. It's started to help me feel better.

If you want to get better, you can't be passive. You can't just sit there and hope your anxiety goes away. CBT has helped me realize that. It's helped me start to face the things I'm afraid of and take charge of my mind.
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post #35 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-02-2011, 07:15 AM
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I think it works if you're willing and able to get the help. What brings me here is my 10 yo child who is literally so terrified daily she's now not wanting to go to school. So far we're talking our lips off about how to relax, taking warm baths, breathing in our nose and out our mouths and she's just not having it. I'm literally at my wits end and feeling less than hopeful about her situation. She wants me to home school her. I know thats the wrong thing but she's home AGAIN today, as she has been 1 day a week for like the last 5 weeks. I'm so sick of people telling me I'm such a great mom for recognizing that she has a problem and taking her to get help when it isn't helping.

I was lucky to sort of fumble my way out of anxiety and move into a deep depression that is finally (mostly) under control with medication but I feel so at a loss as to how to proceed here. We've been to the therapists, she's on meds and it isn't helping.

This is more of a vent than a well meaning message but I'm really really angry with today!! Off to see if I can get her in to her psychiatrist today for xanax for my 10yo. sigh
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post #36 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-04-2011, 05:22 PM
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Confused92, it sounds very much like you have social anxiety disorder. CBT is one of the very best treatments currently available for it. Many people here share your symptoms. Alongside CBT, you might also want to consider taking a beta blocker, as you list physical symptoms e.g. shaking, and beta blockers often help with such symptoms. Talk to your doctor about it.

I have tried sh*talopram, belowpar, diazesham, noshowmazine, lorazesham, Cynica, Ineffexor, crapranolol, futileoxetine and Depascrote without success.

I am now just using CBT.
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post #37 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-04-2011, 05:32 PM
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momof3, a benzodiazepine like xanax could be helpful as long as you make sure that your daughter isn't relying on it too much of the time. Giving her a benzo on the particularly difficult days, perhaps one day a week, could be sustainable without causing physical addiction. But I don't really know much about benzo use in children, and I'm no doctor. Hopefully your doctor will know his stuff.

I have tried sh*talopram, belowpar, diazesham, noshowmazine, lorazesham, Cynica, Ineffexor, crapranolol, futileoxetine and Depascrote without success.

I am now just using CBT.
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post #38 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-07-2011, 11:02 PM
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I've done CBT one-on-one about a year ago. I'd say it was quite helpful.

If you're interested in an online CBT group and can meet 3 days a week with the main meeting Thursdays 6 pm Pacific Standard Time:http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...2/#post1779473

We're going over the Dr Richard's tapes and doing some other CBT Group Therapy each week.

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...p-therapy-357/
Online Cognitive Behavioral Group Therapy (CBT) - Join if interested in Overcoming SA
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post #39 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-14-2011, 05:47 PM
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I've been listening to the CBT course by Dr. Richards and I'm on session no.10 starting tomorrow,I can say it works but it can be a slow process depending on how severe your anxiety is and how long you've suffered from it,the most important part of it for me is that you're actually given an understanding of whats happening to you and skills to deal with it,its all in your head mostly,how you think about yourself and how you think others are thinking about you.I realize that though meds,either prescribed by a Dr. or herbal stuff can help you,unless you change those neural pathways in your brain by replacing them or the messages that go through them,anxiety wont go away.I currently don't attent a support group because I don't know of any in my country or anyone else with SAD and so my progress may be a bit slower as I'm not getting as much practice using the skills that I'm learning in a safe enviroment such as a support group would provide,but I believe it can speed up you recovery enormously and so I reccommend it.Anyway my point in all this is CBT works but you have to be willing to stick with it.
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post #40 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-15-2011, 09:55 PM
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xyz if you're interested we meet 3 times a week at the group the second link in my signature. we go over the Dr richards tapes and do other CBT

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/...p-therapy-357/
Online Cognitive Behavioral Group Therapy (CBT) - Join if interested in Overcoming SA
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