Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) - Page 18 - Social Anxiety Forum

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post #341 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-17-2018, 03:39 AM
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I have just embarked on cbt sessions following a positive aspergers diagnosis late last year.

In preparation for the sessions i was asked to list the areas of social interaction that presented particular difficulties on my part.

The first of these involved difficulties in addressing people by their first names outside of a couple of close relatives.

I was asked why i found this hard. I said perhaps it is because this implies an intimite close connection with a person and with most people i prefer to keep a certain distance. Also perhaps there is an element of feeling betrayed over the years by countless individuals has made it all the harder to developing feelings of trust.

I mentioned that in the past this wasnt always as big a problem. At least i was able to address some people by their names. I managed this to some extent in my first job after college although it wasn't something that felt natural i tried my best to do it as often as possible.

The therapist said that this was a typical convention in social situations even when the other person is not a friend or close friend or family member. I acknowledged this but admitted that in spite of being fully aware of this it felt like an insumountable issue. I explained the situation in my present job where I have been treated badly by a number of colleagues, given the cold shoulder, being made to feel like an outsider that sort of thing, has heightened my phobias and cynicism even further.

We then discussed what i felt would happen if i started all of a sudden addressing work colleagues by their first name. I replied they may be surprised and may even make some comment like "oh you know that's the first time you've called me by my name" a scenario which id find highly embarrassing.

Next having got to this stage he asked again what i felt the root of the problem was. I replied that it was kinda like a bad habit and also a phobia, which led him to conclude that the correct approach was exposing myself to the problem. He proposed approaching a person at work who i felt less uncomfortable with as the first mission.

Afterwards i felt a range of emotions. I felt like i wasn't up to the task especially with my advancing years i am like a tired old fighter with insufficient desire to push myself beyond these limitations having taken one beating too many. It was a depressing thought. Also I might add to sit down and properly run through these issues with a therapist for the first time made it hit home how ridiculous and irrational my predicament is. One can talk on forums for years but this does not allow you to see these problems entirely in their true perspective.

In the days that followed i calmed down somewhat. I'm still not quite sure as to whether i can fulfill a mission prior to the next meeting in 3 weeks but it is slightly less daunting than before. Giving up already is not a decision to be taken likely. In terms of my career and coping with workplaces it'd be very difficult to achieve that in my present state.
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post #342 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-18-2018, 10:12 AM
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So... does this CBT thing work or not? who here has gotten rid of their anxiety already?
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post #343 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-18-2018, 12:38 PM
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Originally Posted by andy0128 View Post

The first of these involved difficulties in addressing people by their first names outside of a couple of close relatives.

I was asked why i found this hard. I said perhaps it is because this implies an intimite close connection with a person and with most people i prefer to keep a certain distance. Also perhaps there is an element of feeling betrayed over the years by countless individuals has made it all the harder to developing feelings of trust.

In the days that followed i calmed down somewhat. I'm still not quite sure as to whether i can fulfill a mission prior to the next meeting in 3 weeks but it is slightly less daunting than before. Giving up already is not a decision to be taken likely. In terms of my career and coping with workplaces it'd be very difficult to achieve that in my present state.
This reminded me that I used to struggle with calling teachers by their first names. It was at college and all the other teens seemed comfortable doing it, but I never did. It felt rude calling a teacher by their first name. Even non-related adults in my family are called Auntie or Uncle as signs of respect.

Anyway, good luck meeting your goal! I'm sure you can do it.

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky...
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post #344 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-19-2018, 06:47 AM
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This reminded me that I used to struggle with calling teachers by their first names. It was at college and all the other teens seemed comfortable doing it, but I never did. It felt rude calling a teacher by their first name. Even non-related adults in my family are called Auntie or Uncle as signs of respect.

Anyway, good luck meeting your goal! I'm sure you can do it.
Thanks. I did fulfill my first goal yesterday. I was anxious to get it over and done with rather than have that weighing on my mind for the next couple of weeks. So at least i go into the next therapy session with something to build on.
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post #345 of 358 (permalink) Old 01-19-2018, 06:56 AM
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Thanks. I did fulfill my first goal yesterday. I was anxious to get it over and done with rather than have that weighing on my mind for the next couple of weeks. So at least i go into the next therapy session with something to build on.
Congratulations! Maybe you could do it again before your session? Even if you don't, well done.

I must go down to the sea again, to the lonely sea and the sky...
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post #346 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-09-2018, 01:46 PM
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I had my second therapy session the today and for the first half of the session we discussed how things were going at my job. I said there is less work and how it'll probably be closing in a year or so from now. He then asked whether i was looking already elsewhere. I said i had been doing some looking since around 18 months ago but it was proving difficult. Many of the places wanted a person less qualified and for the more experienced roles i lacked the experience primarily because i have slightly changed my career path since i came to live abroad.

We then finally got round to talking about the progress i had made since the last session. I mentioned i had fulfilled what we had talked about albeit once. He then talked about how exposure is critical to making progress and encouraged me to try it again and maybe even with another person.

He then asked me how I'd been getting on with my colleagues and i mentioned we were all worried about the companys situation and had some discussions. I said that i wasn't particularly awkward about talking to them a little from time to time. The biggest problems i was having was when answering the phone or when i had to interact with people from other departments. I said this was in part because french is not my mother tongue and many people there speak really fast and don't have much patience for those who don't speak or understand perfectly. Also it is because i am not really able to answer their questions as its a technical area that my colleagues are more knowledgeable in. I also felt that spontaneous interactions with people I'm not as familiar with i suck at generally, regardless of whether its in english or not. Ie an autism thing. Difficulty processing and whatnot. He said i should try to write down some scenarios for the next time and we can go through them the next time we meet. Incidentally he said i should ask the people to speak slowly on the phone and even he has done this in the past as his french wasn't always that good. He believes that you need to have strategies that help you cope with such situations but thats something well cover in more detail next time.

All in all i was a little less satisfied with this session and I'm becoming a little less optimistic as to how much o can achieve realistically, but i guess i need to stick with it and see what happens.
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post #347 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-21-2018, 07:46 AM
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SAD Study


This thread is directed towards Males ages 18 to 65 with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) who have been patients of psychotherapeutic treatment and have: A. Experienced the treatment as, in every aspect, ineffective, neither improving nor deteriorating from the treatment, B. Worsened from the treatment, or, C. Improved from the treatment. I am not directing this message out of curiosity, but so that it will be read and replied to posthaste. I do this as a form of data collection for a study that I am employing, just as the title suggests. It is, essentially, a study that is trying to understand three abnormalities: The ineffectiveness of psychotherapy in regards to the patients not changing at all, the ineffectiveness of psychotherapy in regards to the patients worsening, and why no psychotherapist, or anyone in any similar field, is not thoroughly exploring this pressing topic of inquiry. If possible, I prefer that three individuals of each subsection mentioned above aid me in this study. Of equal importance, I would also prefer that three participants would fall under the category of improvement, as it is important to cross analyze what separates the improved cases from the unimproved cases. The reason for the specification of the age and the gender is to easily control for extraneous variables and to give a good baseline for further research in this field. To be truthful, I am even using Social Anxiety Disorder as a control variable. The true purpose of this study is to find the reason why a minority of individuals who participate in psychotherapeutic treatment are not getting any better or are getting worse. I could have used depression, bipolar disorder, or PTSD, but I decided upon Social Anxiety Disorder for no reason other than it was the first option. I reveal this not out of apathy, but out of my moral obligation as a researcher to not deceive any of the participants. Please understand that this is just the first step to a broader topic of research - a step that will help not just people with SAD, but anyone and everyone that suffers from some mental illness, whether it be mild or severe. This is still a study being done because it matters rather than because it simply “needs to be done.” Please understand this, and judge whether or not you want to be part of that first step.

The method of choice is an interview that comprises of 12 questions that ask the participant a question about something regarding their psychotherapeutic treatment or personal question regarding how they came to have SAD. There are three ways that I could gather data. From least probable to most probable, the options are:

1. The participant contacts me because they want to be interviewed in person. It is important to take note that I will not supply the time and place unless otherwise instructed to. Since individuals with SAD are generally uncomfortable in unfamiliar and unknown situations, it is important to situate a location in which the participant will feel unthreatened and as calm as their disorder will allow so they will not become too uncomfortable to the point where they cannot answer the questions. If the participant requires that I change the location, I will do so. The same methodology applies to the date and time of the interview. The participant will choose a data and time unless I am otherwise instructed by the participant to supply the aforementioned. During the interview process, the participant is free to choose how they situate themselves (laying, sitting, standing, etc). This is to further enhance the comfortability of the individual. During the interview, I will record the entirety of the interview. The recordings themselves will not be revealed to the public. Instead, they are being used in compliance with me taking notes, as there might be a vital piece of information that the participant stated that I did not write down. The participant during this time will not be asked anything more or anything less than what is provided by the questions. Participants are free to speak at length regarding the topic of the question, free from any researcher interruption. At the end of the interview, the participant will be obliged a farewell and I will pardon myself from the interview location.


2. The interview is done over the phone. Before the participant and I start the interview, it is once again important to situate the data and time of the interview. Since the interview is obviously taking place over the phone, there is no reason to situate a location for the interview. The process of the interview, of course, is also identical to doing the interview in person, disregarding how the person fixates themselves in the room. The participants are once again allowed to speak at length about any and all of the questions. Likewise, the participants will be asked nothing more and nothing less of them than the questions. After the interview is finished, I will once again oblige the participant and bid myself a farewell from the phone call.

3. Sending the question virtually, preferably through a Google document. I do of course realize that doing this transforms an open-ended interview into an open ended survey. Albeit a very specific open-ended survey. The participant would contact me via email, and I would send them a virtual copy of the interview questions, preferably on Google docs, that they would then answer and send back to me. I prefer this option as it is the most convenient and it removes the hassle of going to each participant individually.


Please be assured that a participant is not required to give his name. If a participant chooses to do so, the participant must also contact me to assure whether or not he wants to be mentioned in the study specifically or he would rather be left anonymous.

Please take your time to do this. It would greatly benefit yourself, people similar to you, and the psychological community at large.

Thank you, and best regards, William.









Tl;dr: This is a study that needs men between the ages of 18-65 with Social Anxiety Disorder who have been to psychotherapy, preferably men who found it ineffective or saw their condition worsen during the treatment.
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post #348 of 358 (permalink) Old 02-22-2018, 07:24 AM
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This thread is directed towards Males ages 18 to 65 with Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) who have been patients of psychotherapeutic treatment and have: A. Experienced the treatment as, in every aspect, ineffective, neither improving nor deteriorating from the treatment, B. Worsened from the treatment, or, C. Improved from the treatment. I am not directing this message out of curiosity, but so that it will be read and replied to posthaste. I do this as a form of data collection for a study that I am employing, just as the title suggests. It is, essentially, a study that is trying to understand three abnormalities: The ineffectiveness of psychotherapy in regards to the patients not changing at all, the ineffectiveness of psychotherapy in regards to the patients worsening, and why no psychotherapist, or anyone in any similar field, is not thoroughly exploring this pressing topic of inquiry. If possible, I prefer that three individuals of each subsection mentioned above aid me in this study. Of equal importance, I would also prefer that three participants would fall under the category of improvement, as it is important to cross analyze what separates the improved cases from the unimproved cases. The reason for the specification of the age and the gender is to easily control for extraneous variables and to give a good baseline for further research in this field. To be truthful, I am even using Social Anxiety Disorder as a control variable. The true purpose of this study is to find the reason why a minority of individuals who participate in psychotherapeutic treatment are not getting any better or are getting worse. I could have used depression, bipolar disorder, or PTSD, but I decided upon Social Anxiety Disorder for no reason other than it was the first option. I reveal this not out of apathy, but out of my moral obligation as a researcher to not deceive any of the participants. Please understand that this is just the first step to a broader topic of research - a step that will help not just people with SAD, but anyone and everyone that suffers from some mental illness, whether it be mild or severe. This is still a study being done because it matters rather than because it simply “needs to be done.” Please understand this, and judge whether or not you want to be part of that first step.

The method of choice is an interview that comprises of 12 questions that ask the participant a question about something regarding their psychotherapeutic treatment or personal question regarding how they came to have SAD. There are three ways that I could gather data. From least probable to most probable, the options are:

1. The participant contacts me because they want to be interviewed in person. It is important to take note that I will not supply the time and place unless otherwise instructed to. Since individuals with SAD are generally uncomfortable in unfamiliar and unknown situations, it is important to situate a location in which the participant will feel unthreatened and as calm as their disorder will allow so they will not become too uncomfortable to the point where they cannot answer the questions. If the participant requires that I change the location, I will do so. The same methodology applies to the date and time of the interview. The participant will choose a data and time unless I am otherwise instructed by the participant to supply the aforementioned. During the interview process, the participant is free to choose how they situate themselves (laying, sitting, standing, etc). This is to further enhance the comfortability of the individual. During the interview, I will record the entirety of the interview. The recordings themselves will not be revealed to the public. Instead, they are being used in compliance with me taking notes, as there might be a vital piece of information that the participant stated that I did not write down. The participant during this time will not be asked anything more or anything less than what is provided by the questions. Participants are free to speak at length regarding the topic of the question, free from any researcher interruption. At the end of the interview, the participant will be obliged a farewell and I will pardon myself from the interview location.


2. The interview is done over the phone. Before the participant and I start the interview, it is once again important to situate the data and time of the interview. Since the interview is obviously taking place over the phone, there is no reason to situate a location for the interview. The process of the interview, of course, is also identical to doing the interview in person, disregarding how the person fixates themselves in the room. The participants are once again allowed to speak at length about any and all of the questions. Likewise, the participants will be asked nothing more and nothing less of them than the questions. After the interview is finished, I will once again oblige the participant and bid myself a farewell from the phone call.

3. Sending the question virtually, preferably through a Google document. I do of course realize that doing this transforms an open-ended interview into an open ended survey. Albeit a very specific open-ended survey. The participant would contact me via email, and I would send them a virtual copy of the interview questions, preferably on Google docs, that they would then answer and send back to me. I prefer this option as it is the most convenient and it removes the hassle of going to each participant individually.


Please be assured that a participant is not required to give his name. If a participant chooses to do so, the participant must also contact me to assure whether or not he wants to be mentioned in the study specifically or he would rather be left anonymous.

Please take your time to do this. It would greatly benefit yourself, people similar to you, and the psychological community at large.

Thank you, and best regards, William.





Tl;dr: This is a study that needs men between the ages of 18-65 with Social Anxiety Disorder who have been to psychotherapy, preferably men who found it ineffective or saw their condition worsen during the treatment.




(If you could please respond/forward this to others who have had experience with this disorder, I would be extremely thankful.)
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post #349 of 358 (permalink) Old 03-05-2018, 12:33 AM
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^ This forum doesn't particularly emphasize recovery, although I'd argue forums generally aren't ideal for that purpose. The general vibe has been my life sucks and nothing is going to change that, which is hardly a platform for those who are need to work on their issues. It's like if you want to quit smoking you do not surround yourself with smokers unless they thenselves are looking to quit.
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post #350 of 358 (permalink) Old 03-22-2018, 08:00 PM
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I have found CBT to be one of the most useful methods for overcoming social anxiety as well.

I am glad it is recommended as the main one and is great to see so many people reporting benefits from it!
I wish I could have access to it, someway.
I was fine for many years. But, recently, due to my grandma passing away, I'm again experiencing bouts of extreme anxiety and depression.
I've already talked to my PDoc about it, and he said that I should start medical treatment, again, for the fourth time. And i'm kinda scared about it.
Throughout the years I only kept switching medications, had troubles with a few of them, and only a very few actually did worked good for many years.
So i'm really not too fond into going to the same routine of switching medications all over again.
I'm gonna see him next Tuesday. Hope he can understand my concerns, and propose me some CBT instead of taking medications.

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post #351 of 358 (permalink) Old 05-25-2018, 06:56 AM
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I had CBT for half a year. The main thing that helped me was frequent visits because with SA it is hard to go to any appointments but forcing yourself is the first step. Developing a trusting relationship with that therapist was crucial otherwise I would not have opened up. Also, medication. During times I stopped taking them, I continued to have panic attacks on a severe mute level with that trusting person.
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post #352 of 358 (permalink) Old 05-31-2018, 02:31 AM
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Worked for depression but not anxiety.
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post #353 of 358 (permalink) Old 07-27-2018, 10:54 AM
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how about intrusive thoughts and triggers? does CBT help at all?

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post #354 of 358 (permalink) Old 04-14-2019, 11:59 PM
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^ This forum doesn't particularly emphasize recovery, although I'd argue forums generally aren't ideal for that purpose. The general vibe has been my life sucks and nothing is going to change that, which is hardly a platform for those who are need to work on their issues. It's like if you want to quit smoking you do not surround yourself with smokers unless they thenselves are looking to quit.
I know what you're saying but don't judge them for that. You might know from your own experience how difficult it is to create any kind of significant transformation from any kind of therapy. Obviously improvements happen, but real lasting change I think is rare. I don't buy for a second all these blogs you see about people getting totally free from social anxiety by taking x or doing y. The mind has been conditioned to respond to stimuli in a particular way for many decades, it is foolish to expect that habitual way of thinking to disappear overnight.

I think the best we can hope for is to make it our social anxiety manageable and our lives functional, which is not to be scoffed at since many of our lives are neither manageable nor functional.

It's a curse, lets not pretend it isn't
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post #355 of 358 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 01:49 PM
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I still perfer that it be called CBT because it sounds just like the BDSM version of CBT. Which is what I imagine is the idea behind CBT anyhow. To mentally torture people until they want to be normal so bad they'll pretend if they have to.

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post #356 of 358 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 11:04 PM
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I still perfer that it be called CBT because it sounds just like the BDSM version of CBT. Which is what I imagine is the idea behind CBT anyhow. To mentally torture people until they want to be normal so bad they'll pretend if they have to.
Aw... funny! is it bad that I laugh so much at what you people say?

I hope I don’t laugh at anyone’s misfortune - never my intention. Let me know if I do🙂
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post #357 of 358 (permalink) Old 04-24-2019, 11:57 PM
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Okay, so I’m not experienced with threads and forums. I think I jumped into this one that is for males. Sorry for imposing. It’s like a maze.
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post #358 of 358 (permalink) Old 07-09-2019, 02:47 PM
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True, talking is BS. But cbt is not talking.
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CBT: Worthless. (Talking is bull****ting)
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