Thank you to those that are still reading this. I realize that I sound like I am experiencing an unreasonable anxiety. And maybe I am.
I was stressed but handled it all well until my previous doctor told me on the phone (after the operation): "Everything went well, you are in the clear." The following day I went in for a check up, she looked at me and said: "With cancer, they remove the organ." I was like:"What? Yesterday you said I was in the clear." She told me that I was indeed in the clear but that cancer leads to the removal of organs. I was confused and didn't know if I was in the clear or not. That was the first time I had a breakdown.
During another appointment she said: "You lived an unhealthy life. That is why you have cancer." What? I haven't lived an unhealthy life. And I thought I didn't have cancer. WTF! I had another breakdown after that appointment.
I talked to my GP and he said to change doctors as that woman was clearly sadistic.
I changed doctors and the new one looked at the letter from the hospital and said: "Well, it was very advanced. It basically already was cancer. And if it comes back, they will take out the organ." OK. I didn't have another breakdown after that. I just walked through life like a zombie.
Those conversations took place in the summer. Shortly after, I went to the hospital for another check up (7-8 weeks ago). The result came back inconclusive. So now I am waiting for the next check up in a few days. And stuck in my head are those comments about cancer and losing my organ.
That is why I am in the state that I am in. Having a health scare is one thing. But being repeatedly told that you are in the clear or that you may lose your organ is rough. Particularly when the results are inconclusive.
I talked to a medical helpline the other day. I read out the letter from the hospital to them and the doctor said: "It is serious. You should talk to an oncologist." Ok, so I should talk to someone that specializes in cancer. Does that mean that I have cancer? Probably. Maybe. Who knows.
I did talk to an oncologist. They said that it was a pre stage and not cancer. Does that mean that I don't have cancer? Probably. Maybe. Who knows.
So this a where I am at in my head. 3 different doctors told me that I have reason to be scared/ where trying to terrify me deliberately. I was stressed before but handled it like a grown up. Ever since those conversations I have unravelled. I have no words for the despair I feel.
Originally Posted by WillYouStopDave
Wow. That was pretty harsh. I hate doctors. I really do.
I hope you can get some good news and/or at least find a doctor who will discuss things with you in a way that is informative but not mean.
Some are bad, yes.
In July 2016, I am not sure how much I talked about it, but I had what amounted to a sinus infection so severe that it caused a hemorrhage in my left eye - on two occasions one night, I lost the vision in the bottom half of my eye and then it would come back like static on a television set. I looked up the situation and they said "go to a doctor" - at 1am?
I ended up going to the ER when it happened a third time. I go in, they lay me down, and check me out. When the vision left a fourth time, the hemorrhage occurred in the ER and I had a blood floater in the center of my eye. The doctor sonogrammed my eyeball like a pregnant mama and could find no retina damage (tear or detachment)....but scheduled an eye appointment later that day.
I could see around the floater, but not through it - a rusty-red Space Invader.
I get there, kids running around, and I finally get tested with a peripheral vision test. I was told I had severe macular degeneration, a detached retina, and a strong possibility I may have permanent vision loss. He sent me across town to a specialist....in the hot June sun (32c/90F+) with dilated pupils!
I get to the specialist, fail the vision test because of the Space Invader. Eye pressure a little high, but not worrysome; the Michael Jackson Off the Wall laser test for my retina landscape was taken...and then the visual test from the doctor - no tear, no detachment, but an obvious hemorrhage.
Over the next week, I had two additional visits to the ER. The first was a blood test two days after the first visit that resulted in my nearly passing out....and a fourth occurrence of the vision loss in the left eye! That was ruled dehydration and I was later sent home.
The third visit was day 6 (the following Monday) when I went to the specialist for an angiogram to look at the arteries in my eye. Stupid me, I took two decongestants that morning and it shot my blood pressure to 148/108 (I was only borderline HBP before, but the stress was there). They sent me back to the ER saying that I may have had a stroke - CAT scan, more blood work, urinalysis, and EKG......nothing but elevated blood pressure.
I kept going back to the specialist after the hospital set me up with a new doctor....the floater itself turned black, formed a Mercedes-Benz logo (without the circle) and then started spinning like a pinwheel when I moved my eye....it was starting to break up in the fluid of my eye.
Today, I can only see what is left when I look at a bright background. Other than that, I don't pay any attention and I can see fine. I am typing this without even wearing my glasses.
The moral to the story is - yeah, unknowns are scary even to the anxious. Your best weapon is to get informed and to take things daily as they come.
Don't worry about doctors, they all have their own personalities. When it comes to your friend, he had a bad reaction which probably scared him off, but you told him in person. That's hard to do and is commendable.
I would think that if things were really bad, you would be in a different situation right now.
Not bad for post #154,000